Steel carefully pulled the sheet back up, this time going as far as to bring it over her head. The action reminded him of countless bedtime stories, and checking for monsters under the bed, and tucking her in, and nighttime prayers.
A single tear escaped, dragging itself slowly down his weathered cheek, through his closely cropped beard, over his chin, and down, down onto the pristine white sheet.
Jenna was not okay.She’d crossed the threshold of no return. The sudden and extreme flare-up she’d experienced when Jack told her what had happened to Melanie had not been a pseudo-exacerbation. It had been the real deal, and so severe that Tessa had had to sedate her intravenously. She hadn’t been knocked unconscious, and it sure as fuck did not stop the pain. Due to the respiratory concerns of her condition, she had to be hospitalized and monitored closely.
Ollie and Aaron were discharged the following morning. Aaron’s surgery was a success and he had a brand-new green cast for his heroics. Ollie had chosen a rainbow-colored cast. He was going to be wheelchair bound for the first few days and then could use crutches.
Carter and Lucy arrived with Drew, and then Jordan had appeared. He’d been at a concert the night of Ollie’s accident and Melanie’s murder, which was why he hadn’t answered his phone when Lucky had called him.
Louisa, Harper, Tessa, Abby, Jasmine, Cage, Paige, Sophia, Tally, Dosia, and Calliope did not leave her side for a moment while she was hospitalized. Jenna loved her fellow ol’ ladies. They could never replace her sister, Caroline, but they were her sisters, nonetheless. Despite being male and a member of theclub, Cage had become an honorary ol’ lady. It had started out as a joke but now had become the norm. He was even in their Ol’ Ladies Only group text chat, and he didn’t mind when he got mixed in with the collective wording of ‘the ladies’ or ‘club sisters’.
Normally there was talking and jokes and laughter and wine when they were all together. But now no one seemed to know what to say, and the silence was both painful and a relief. None of them knew her pain, and she prayed, none of them ever would.
No mother should have to suffer this.
But the silence was shattering. It made the pain worse and her grief stronger. She prayed, Lord did she pray. She tried everything, made every bargain with the universe that she could, but nothing worked. Her baby was still gone.
The worst part, though, was Jack’s absence. Her flare-up continued even after she was discharged. Lilly arrived, and Carter, Jordan, Ollie, and Lucy had not left her side either. She was surrounded by her family and friends—but not her husband.
He would stop in to see her like she was an old friend getting over the flu. He made sure she didn’t want for anything and was as comfortable as she could be. And then he was gone again. Going somewhere, doing something, that was not beingwith her.
Jenna had once believed that nothing could ever pull Jack from her side. Even when he’d been deployed to the other side of the world from her, she felt closer to him than she did following the death of their daughter. He wasn’tJackright now, not her Jack at least. He was cold, distant, and he refused to touch her.
She couldn’t process his reaction. She was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. It wasn’t like there was a manual for how to act after your daughter was brutally murdered outsideher college housing. He was grieving how he needed to grieve. But she neededsomethingfrom him.
Back home in their bed, she could smell him. It made it easier to pretend he was just laying behind her in the same bed than being wherever he was, but she knew the truth. All Jenna wanted was for her husband tohold her, even if it caused her more pain. They’dbothlost Melanie. Yet, she was alone in her grief, surrounded by her loved ones.
Lucy would bring Drew up to visit Jenna; Ollie would ride the chair lift up to see her; Carter would bring her tea, even when she hadn’t finished or started the last cup; and Jordan would sit on his father’s side of the bed, fiddling with his guitar. One of the ol’ ladies had cleaned up their mess from rushing out of the bathtub to get to the hospital for Ollie.
But no Jack.
It was like she’d lost him too.
Time seemed to blend together. Lucy and some of the ol’ ladies tried to ask Jenna what outfit they wanted Melanie to wear. Others came up to question jewelry or mementos. Jenna had no answers. She didn’t even know what day it was, only that it was one more where her daughter was no longer here. Tears flowed nonstop, some slower and some faster. Her eyes constantly stung.
The hospital had left the catheter in her arm. She wasn’t sure when, but she randomly noticed the saline bag now attached to her. Enough time must have passed that someone had gotten concerned about her hydration. They shouldn’t have bothered.
Fatigue, pain, and heartbreak were her constant companions. Anger was a more frequent visitor than her own husband.
Jenna faded in and out, knowing she wasn’t sleeping but also not fully awake. Sometimes she heard people walk into her room and then opened her eyes to find herself alone. She wouldimagine herself standing up and going to the window or walking downstairs, only to discover that she hadn’t moved an inch.
She continuously heard tapping sounds that no one else said were there, and had convinced herself that it was Melanie trying to get her attention. She was so certain of it that she had Tessa get Dosia and Calliope to confirm. Calliope, though, said it wasn’t her specialty, but she also felt no presence in Jenna’s bedroom.
“Then what good are you?” Jenna venomously sneered. “You call yourself a witch, a psychic? You’re a fraud! How could you not see this coming? How can you stand there and claim to be one of us when you didnothingto save my daughter?”
Logically, she knew she was being unfair. Dosia tried to explain to her that Calliope wasn’t omniscient. She couldn’t see everyone’s future all the time. It worked like feelings, intuition, and the occasional vision.
Jenna didn’t give a shit. She kicked everyone out of her room after that. They respected her wishes until Lilly came barging in to read her the riot act.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, making that poor girl cry?”
“Mydaughteris dead?—”
“She was my niece too!” Lilly interrupted, her voice clipped. “I don’t know where your husband is, and trust me, I’m going to kick Jackie’s ass when he returns, butyou? You’re better than this, Jenna.”
Jenna snorted. She wished she could roll away and turn her back on Lilly, but her body was as much a traitor as Jack at present. She couldn’t move without assistance and a lot of pain. “You have no idea what I’m going through. You don’thavea daughtertolose!”
Lilly didn’t blink at the mockery. “You’re right, I don’t,” she agreed evenly. “But don’t think for a moment, Jenna Duncan, that I don’t share your pain. I loved Melanie too. We all did. Wemight not have birthed her, but she wasours. You have three sons who are grieving withoutboththeir parents downstairs. Your pregnant daughter-in-law won’t stop crying. Thank God your grandson has no idea what is going on. Your friends, women you callsisters, are terrified of coming upstairs to comfort you because they don’t want to upset you more, but they come up here anyway because you need help. And I am sorry, Jenna,” her voice cracked, “so fucking sorry. The world…” She shook her head. “It’s not fair. You can’t imagine the things that I’ve seen, Jenna, and I don’t want you to.
