Steel inclined his head. “Appreciate the warning, but we’ll be fine.”
Danny waved to Jenna still inside the truck and then headed to his cruiser. As he pulled out, Darrin and Viktor pulled in. They kept their vehicle running but killed the headlights. Their orders were to guard, not intervene.
Steel moved several of the standing heaters closer to the truck now that he’d parked. He opened the truck bed and hopped inside. He had a basket of blankets, a bottle of sparkling grape juice since Jenna could drink alcohol but it was recommended not to, and some cheese and crackers. There was also a set of plastic stairs he got to help Jenna up and down.
Ready, he hopped down and headed to the passenger door. The old door creaked as he opened it. He held his hand out to her. “May I have this dance?”
Jenna had been smiling since she discovered where he was taking her. Her hair was not as neat as it had been at the house, but damn if it didn’t make her seem more breathtaking. That could very well be his pride talking, because he knewhowshe’d messed up her hair.
Placing her hand in his, they carefully got her lowered to the ground. Steel zipped up her coat higher and pulled out a pair of her white fuzzy gloves he’d had stored in his coat pocket. Bringing her around to the back of the truck, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye.
Viktor was suddenly there on the other side of the stairs to provide Jenna a sturdier ascent up to the bed. Even with the parking brake on, the truck still wobbled when she stepped onto the tailgate. Despite Steel’s order to remain invisible, he was grateful to the prospect for his considerate thinking. He lifted his chin at Viktor in thanks.
The man nodded once before returning to the SUV.
Steel followed Jenna up into the bed. The truck rocked even more with his added weight. The last time Jordan had been in town, he’d stopped by Grumpy’s shop to help install Bluetooth speakers into the four corners of the truck bed. It was his Christmas gift to his parents, though Jenna thought he went in on Carter’s gift upgrading the suite they’d stayed at in the Bahamas.
Pulling out his phone, Steel pulled up their playlist. It took a moment for him to remember how to link the speakers, but thenTime After Timeby Cyndi Lauper started playing.
Jenna jumped, not anticipating the speakers. She laughed at her reaction. “You’ve certainly upgraded.”
“Thank your middle child. This is his real Christmas gift.” He pocketed his phone.
“Jordan’s not our middle child anymore,” Jenna pointed out as she wrapped her arms around Steel’s neck.
“He’ll always be our middle child. Ollie just made Melanie a middle child too.” He placed his hands on her hips.
Jenna sighed, resting her head against his chest. “Whatever you say, dear.”
They swayed to the music together. Jenna didn’t pick her feet up much so she didn’t step on his toes like she normally did, but her rhythm was still completely off no matter what song played.
Steel rested his cheek on her hair and just breathed her in. She’d changed shampoos and perfumes over the years, but there was something remarkably like vanilla always attached to her. Without warning, his chin started to tremble. They’d made it through a year following her diagnosis. She hadn’t gotten worse, but she also wasn’t better or cured. Next Valentine’s Day, would she be completely wheelchair bound? Or worse?
His arms squeezed her tighter, his instincts screaming to use his own body as a shield to protect her. But how could he when it was her own body that was betraying her?
“Jack,” she started, but Steel cut her off.
“Don’t,” he said, harsher than intended. His chest felt too tight to breathe. “Just… Let’s just be.”
She nodded against his chest, not arguing or voicing her concerns.
The song changed toFaithfullyby Journey. They continued to sway. The brisk air around them battled the propane heaters he’d placed closer to the truck. They were on solid land, looking over the town they loved, but Steel still felt like he was drowning. Slowly, painfully. Each little puff of air his body took in was more painful than the last, to the point where he had to wonder what the point of taking that next breath was.
He knew his fate. He didn’t fear it, nor was he saddened by it. There was no life beyond Jenna. He’d made his choice the moment he’d heard her diagnosis leave the doctor’s lips. He wasn’t scared of the end, but fuck, did it hurt.
He was a soldier, a fighter. He knew how fleeting life was and had been faced with the prospect of his own mortality more than once.
He never thought he’d have to face hers. It made him want to hold her tighter, breathe her in harder, love her fiercer as the earth cracked beneath his feet, as water rose higher and higher, as the oxygen was stolen from his lungs… He wasn’t sure he believed in Heaven or Hell anymore. His faith had been shattered over a year ago. All he knew was that he would not live in a world where Jenna did not exist anymore.
And if that decision landed him in Hell, then he had news for the universe: she’d be joining him or he’d fight his way past the Pearly Gates. Because nothing would keep them apart, not even some god who thought it was in the world’s grand design to remove Jenna from Steel’s arms in the first place. He knew a lot of bad people the world would be better off without. He’d make sure Jenna committed some murders before she left this life.
That sayingI’d rather be in Hell with you than Heaven without you,he didn’t need to hear it from Jenna’s lips to know that held as true for her as it did for him.
Jenna started to sag, her legs moving slightly slower than they should, even with her awful rhythm. But Steel wasn’t ready for their dance to be over. He scooped her up, bearing her weight as easily as he always had. He continued to sway, holding her against his chest. Jenna lifted her head slightly to readjust her position.
Small, white flakes started to drizzle down on them as Peter Gabriel’sIn Your Eyescame over the speakers. Jenna lifted her left hand from around Steel’s neck to hold her gloved palm up towards the sky.
“Guess the new forecast was wrong,” Steel mused, staring up at the snowy night with her.
