Jenna’s faith had not faltered since receiving her diagnosis, but Steel already knew she was so much stronger than he was. How could any god, Christian or otherwise, take this beautiful, courageous, smart, funny,passionatewoman from this earth? How was that good and just when evil walked about so freely? What ‘great plan’ could possibly involve removing her from this world?
Steel was very aware that all things died. That was the cycle of life. You’re born, you live, you die, and the circle continues.Hell, he’d raised a daughter whose favorite movie growing up wasThe Lion King. He was very familiar with the song and the implications behind the lyrics.
But Jenna? Why her? There was no better woman to walk this earth, and yet she was the one whose body was slowly betraying her. Why not him? He was the killer, the one with blood on his hands. Last January, he’d executed a woman who’d betrayed his club and tried to have one of his club brothers kidnapped by an outlaw biker club. Cage had only escaped, because even in his drugged state, he’d only had eyes for Angel.
Steel had killed others too. He’d had rapists tortured, murderers killed. Hell, there was currently a pedophile in the cellar below the clubhouse.
He thought justice might have finally come calling when he’d been arrested for Dixie Gilbert’s murder four days ago. He might not have pulled that trigger, but he’d certainly pulled others. And while he felt no guilt or remorse for those deaths, he knew it did not change the blood staining his hands.
Itshould be him. If there was a god or some cosmic justice system, it should behim. Changed nothing, though. There was no part of him that planned on living in this world without her. People in grief talked about livingaftertheir loved one was gone. The strength it took to continue on, for their kids or siblings or whomever it was that they clung to.
Steel was a weak man. He’d lived through fifteen years without this woman in his life, from the time he’d been born to the moment he’d met her on that sidewalk outside a used bookstore in Port Townsend, Washington. He’d spent over forty with her, and he would spend as much time as she had left with her. Be it days or years, they would be together. But there would be noafter her.
He didn’t have the strength. Their kids were not enough to keep him going, nor was the club they had built together. Nothis sister or his nieces and nephews. There was nothing in this world that would keep him going. As soon as her heart stopped beating, so would his.
Naked,Jenna stared down at her husband. Some called him gruff while others saw him as an asshole. She’d only ever seen the man she fell in love with, the boy who had sacrificed everything for his little sister and worked himself to the bone to provide for her when they were a young married couple. People thought they were foolish for marrying so young. She’d gotten married on her eighteenth birthday after all. But they didn’t understand. It wasn’t about sticking it to her parents or proving a point. She would have married him the day they’d met, if the law had allowed them.
Putting a ring on his finger had been an expression of love. She was claiming him, solely and completely. She was saying to the worldback off, he’s mineand then proved it every day by sticking by him, through thick and thin.
Things were different now, her diagnosis the invisible elephant in every room, but she had unyielding faith in them. She would never give up, never stop fighting to have more time with this man.
She loved Jack Duncan. And even after so long together, she was finding herself falling more in love with him. There had never been a day when she’d been bored with him. Pissed off, absolutely.
When she heard about couples falling out of love with one another, it made her wonder how. Did it start gradually or was their love just not as strong from the start? Jenna couldn’t imagine Jack ever doing something to make her stop loving him.Or either of them becoming so complacent in their lives that they got bored with each other.
Even after raising three children and adopting another, their sex life had never suffered. Countries apart, their letters while Jack had been deployed had been explicit and full of promise for their reunion.
Jenna sat up slightly, her legs falling to the mattress at his hips. Her man’s body was perfection. Jack had started seriously working out after her mother’s bodyguards had beat him and twenty years in the Marines had done the rest. She loved every muscle, evidence of his strength and perseverance.
This past weekend had been hell. Jack had been arrested for a murder he didn’t commit. She knew he’d killed since retiring. She wasn’t stupid or blind to what the club did. But Jack wasn’t evil, and he would never kill a woman without cause or reason. As annoying as Dixie Gilbert had been, she hadn’t been worth a bullet.
But seeing her man in jail? That was something she wasn’t sure she’d get over anytime soon. At least the DEA agent who’d arrested him had left him in Mount Grove’s jail, where Jenna had easily been able to visit him and Carlos, the town’s sheriff and a family friend, had allowed Jack out during the day to be with her. They hadn’t been allowed to leave the station, and one of his deputies had always been with them, but Carlos would not allow Jenna to sit in a jail cell with Steel and she wasn’t about to leave her husband.
Even if he was guilty, she wouldn’t have.
Jenna ran her fingers through the thin, gray hair coating Jack’s chest. He’d never been overly hairy, but she liked the little fuzz that defined his chest. “How’s your back?”
The jail cell had had a single metal slab against the wall for him to sleep on. Jenna had bought a blowup mattress for him, which technically was against the rules but she didn’t care.Unfortunately, neither of them were young anymore. Jack had refused to allow Jenna to sleep on the blowup mattress or even the cot Bulldog had offered to have brought in for her. He wouldn’t rest until she agreed to go home and sleep in their bed. For his sake, Jenna had complied, though she’d done so under protest.
But Jack’s back had been killing him since the second morning in jail. After their reunion yesterday with the club, including meeting Pumpkin’s ol’ lady and the six-year-old daughter he hadn’t known existed, they’d returned home with the intent to shower but had ended up sitting in the bathtub together for hours.
Jack put his hands to her hips, running his rough palms up and down her thighs. Once, he would have quickly rolled them, using his immense strength and core muscles to rapidly flip their positions. Now, he gently ran a hand up her spine to support her neck while the other wrapped around her lower back to guide her as he maneuvered their bodies in a controlled roll. Somehow, it was even sexier than when he used to pick her up and toss her onto their bed.
The soft mattress formed to her back as Jack held himself over her, her hips cradling his. His morning erection lay stiff and ready against her mound. Menopause had hit her hard a few years back, but her desire for this man had never dwindled. She loved how Jack never looked at her differently, even as her body changed over the years. But he swore to her that his love was eternal, regardless of how saggy his balls or her boobs got.
“My back,” he said, rubbing his cock along her slit, “is sore.” He lowered his mouth to kiss along her jawline. “But I willneverbe too sore to make love to you.”
Jenna’s hands shook slightly as she ran them along the strong muscles of his back. Even after leaving the Marines and nearing the Big 6-0, his body was pure muscle. She neverthought tattoos would be such a turn-on, not until Jack had gotten his first. Now she couldn’t stop touching them. She even had a few of her own, including a starfish on her back, below her right shoulder.
With her therapies, medication, and exercise, she’d been doing really well. Other than the time she’d fallen in the shower over six months ago, her flare-ups were mild. She knew she was lucky, that they could be a lot worse, especially at her age. More often than not, her symptoms were numbness in her limbs and fatigue. She used to be able to go all day in her store, plus church activities and being with her kids. But now the simplest of tasks wore her out. Especially stairs. But the one activity she wouldnevergive up was making love to her husband.
Jenna arched her back, needing to feel the hardness of his rigid cock against her clit. No other man had ever touched her body, no other man ever would. Jack knew her like he was a master violinist and she a Stradivarius. Sometimes, it felt like he knew her better than she knew herself. The times they’d experimented, he’d known when to push or when to pull—even when she hadn’t.
Despite the heat she felt for this man, her post-menopausal body sometimes was slow to the party. Like now, she was far too dry to even attempt to take him. But Jack never lost a step. He pulled the vaginal lubricant from the drawer in their headboard without missing a beat.
Jenna spread her legs wider as he applied some to his left fingers before sliding his hand down between their bodies. Her hips were not as flexible as they once were, and Jack knew just how much pressure to put on her pelvis before backing off. His wet fingers against her clit sent heated shivers up and down her spine.
“Kiss me,” she demanded.
