I tried to distance myself from him as much as I could. But it’s the grudge I carry that ended up hurting me here. That’s partially my fault, too.
Lily slips her hand into mine, squeezing. “I think I should go home.”
“What?” I grip onto her a bit harder. As if she’ll disappear.
“There are a lot of emotions going on right now. I don’t think either of us are in the headspace for it.”
“But…” I will myself to look at her and face what I could lose if I don’t think more rationally. “I don’t want you to leave me. I’m sorry for what I said.”
She squeezes again. “I’m sorry, too. I’m not leaving you. I’m just giving you space. We both need that.” Liliana smiles. It’s small, but paired with rosy cheeks and caring eyes. Genuine. “I inserted myself into your family’s problems. You need some timeto think about things on your own. I should take myself out of the equation so you can make decisions without my pressuring.”
Out of the equation sounds bad. It feels bad. My entire body runs cold. I consider that she might be breaking up with me because I’m too hard-headed to give my siblings the benefit of the doubt.
No resentment I feel, whether it’s towards Locke or my father, is worth losing her.
I hear my heart pounding my chest, the loud thumping against my temples. “Please don’t break up with me over this. I’ll be better.”
Lily moves back and my hand reaches for her instantly. I’m ready to beg if I have to. I will get on my knees and grovel, tell her how right she is, that I’ll call my family right now and hash out my childhood trauma if it means she’ll give me a chance to fix this.
Right as I’m about to spew off everything I feel for her, she cups my jaw and kisses me, passionate and heartfelt. Lips moving against mine and hand holding onto my bicep. When she pulls back and stares at me, my anxiety starts to vanish.
“I’m not breaking up with you, Grant. Not over this, not ever. I just want you to think.” Relief is the only thing I can think about. I hurriedly kiss her again and she giggles against my lips.
She kisses me until I feel like I can breathe again.
“We’re okay. We’re going to be okay.”
I nod at her words and hold them to my heart. “Yeah,” I repeat after her. “We’re okay.”
We spend a few minutes kissing. Liliana reassures me that nothing is going to change just because she’s spending more than three days at her own apartment, and that if I choose not to speak to my siblings, we’ll still be together.
“Baby.” I doubt Liliana meant for this to be some sort of wake-up call for me, but it was. “If this means so much to you, then I’ll seriously consider it. I promise.”
I don’t want to. Approaching any member of my family sounds so foreign and uncomfortable. But tonight showed me that Lily cares about me enough to talk me through anger and still stick it out on the other end. More importantly, there’s a trust she has to let me work through my feelings.
Beyond being right or being just, what matters to me is being hers.
Walking her out of the apartment is different this time. Not bad, or scary, just different.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you?”
She waves her phone at me, ride share app blinking under the hallway light. “Three minutes away. I’ll be fine.”
“Text me when you get home, please.”
“Of course.” Lily tip toes to kiss me for the last time. I wrap my arms around her waist and hold her there, savoring the feeling.
She pulls away only an inch, holding me to her for what I think might be forever.
“Grant?” Lily whispers.
“Yes, baby?”
“I love you.”
My heart stops beating. Warmth flushes over my face, and I smile so big my cheeks hurt. It’s like everything in the world has finally made sense.
I tighten my arms around her and kiss her again.
