“Your foot is shaking. You’re overthinking again.” He’s looking down, but I can see the corners of his upturned smile. Suddenly aware of it, I halt my foot and cross my legs. “Let your mind rest from the story for a bit. Tell me what you have planned for the next few weeks.”
I shouldn’t entertain this. There’s too much to cover and too little time with my next due date incoming. On one hand, it feels like I’m surrendering part of my control by answering him. I want to figure out this part of the story and not sit around playing footsie.
On the other hand, listening to his advice hasn’t steered me wrong yet.
At the very least, this isn’t a hard question to answer.
“I have an author branding project due in two weeks. And after the third act, I need to start prepping the full short story-”
“Lily.” He cuts me off, lightly knocking my foot under the table. “Something not school related, maybe.”
“Oh.” I blush in embarrassment. It wasn’t purposeful. I search my mind for the other things going on in my life. “My parents are coming back to Boston.”
“Are they not already in Boston?”
“They’re in O’ahu right now visiting family.”
Grant nods, eyes moving between me and his sketchbook. “You didn’t want to go with them?”
It’s always the follow-up question. Then, I struggle to articulate it’s not that I didn’t want to go or don’t want to see my family. There’s just too much to do here, in Boston, to justify leaving for so long. Even if it makes me feel like a horrible daughter for choosing myself again.
But that explanation doesn’t seem as daunting when I’m sitting in front of Grant. Knowing that he centers himself on the life his mother built for him and becoming the son he wants to be for her, makes me think that he’ll understand me.
“It’s not that I didn’t want to go.” I start mindlessly chewing on my nail. “I’d love to go. I love Hawai’i. But they left in March and I have classes.”
“Since March? Damn. That’s a long vacation.”
“I wouldn’t consider it a vacation. It’s their home.” His brows raise, and the pressure of my parents’ love for Hawai’i presses on my conscious. “Imagine this. You move away from Boston, not because you want to, but because your circumstances don’t make it a viable place for you to raise a family. You sacrifice what you consider home because of things out of your control. When you’re able to go back, even for a just a little while, would you consider that a vacation?”
Grant stops drawing. Twists his pencil in his hand, staring to the side of the café for a handful of seconds before shaking his head. “No, I guess not. A place that I call home kinda defeats what a vacation is supposed to be.”
“Exactly.” I sip the half-empty hazelnut latte to swallow down the weight of my words. “My parents didn’t leave Hawai’i because they wanted to. They were a young couple who got priced out of the islands like so many others.” My teeth press against each other, gritting out the last sentences. “They ended up here. With me.”
For me.
He takes a sip of his drink, too, before asking, “Why do you say it like it’s a bad thing?”
“Locals getting priced out of their homes is always a bad thing.”
“Oh, of course.” Grant shakes his head. “Raising a family shouldn’t come at the cost of someone’s home.”
“Especially those living on indigenous land.”
For a moment, I’m afraid I got carried away with my passion for Hawai.i. I’ve had this discussion too many times—where I have to explain that just because Hawai’i is a state, it doesn’t belittle how awful it is for Native Hawaiians to be pushed out of their sacred land.
Some of those conversations shift into a teaching moment. Like my parents did with me when I was young, I take the time to explain how important the islands are to the Hawaiian people, and how heartbreaking it is to see them forced out. Others go south. I end up defending my parents’ anger, my extended family’s worries, and reciting the history of our ancestors who cultivated paradise.
Quick as I am to jump into defense mode, though, it’s not needed. Every part of me has faith that if someone would be empathetic towards my culture and my family, it’d be the man sitting in front of me.
Grant nods quickly, expression stern. “I wish they taught us more about that stuff in school. I’d love to learn about Hawaii beyond TV shows and movies.”
A smile breaks across my face immediately. Learning about Hawai’i was one of my favorite things growing up. Sharing that joy with other people has proven to be even more rewarding.
“You couldn’t have picked a better person to have around, then.”
His smile matches mine, wide and glowing.
“I know.”
