The car ride to her apartment building is filled with too many discussions and too little time. How she totally would’ve beat me at an actual game of mini golf, and how the rock-over-building trick was a good metaphor she’d keep in mind later.
In the middle of it, Liliana tries to return my cardigan to me, but I tell her she needs it for the walk to her door. I say she can give it back the next time we see each other.
She sits in my car a few minutes after I’ve parked in front of her brown brick building, thanking me for the night and getting her out of her head. She says it was nice to do something fun for a change, to not be so consumed in schoolwork.
Her mouth has traces of lip gloss when she speaks, glitter reflecting off the light coming through the passenger window. I watch the glitter as she talks. See the way it shifts when she thanks me, again, for such a good night.
I think about kissing her. Cupping the side of her face and resting my hand on the curve of her jaw when I lean forward and touch my lips to hers. Soft and sweet like every other part of Liliana, her lips would move in tandem with mine, steadily, wanting.
And when we pull apart, it's her who’d see the reflection of glitter on my lips.
But I don’t.
I don’t kiss Liliana. I’ve tested my luck enough for one night. A breakthrough in her creativity means too much to risk being overshadowed by a kiss, whether it’s failed or successful.
I opt for a vocal goodbye and say our next meeting should be outside the café. Instead of pushing back and reminding me about our deal, she says she’ll text me if she thinks of any good locations.
Then she leaves and I watch her building door close behind her.
On the drive back to my place, Clementine snoozes in her seat and Heath texts me he’s on his way. Honest by The Band CAMINO plays in the background.
I smile to myself, taking one hand off the steering wheel to bite on my finger and keep the happiness contained.
My big plan for the night wasn’t to reinvent Liliana’s way of thinking or pull the smoothest move I’ve ever thought of. It wasn’t to get Clementine to whisper to me half-asleep that she likes Liliana and wants to hang out with her again.
It wasn’t to get a kiss from her, either, despite how close I came to making that happen.
My big plan—if it can really be categorized as “big” considering its simplicity—was just to spend a Thursday night with my three favorite girls. And it couldn’t have gone any better.
fifteen
GRANT
There’sa question Rosie has been seemingly attached to over the last week.
When I told her I was going over to Grant’s apartment on a Saturday afternoon, she screamed loud enough for the pigeons to hear.
“Are you guys fucking?!”
In the safety of our apartment where no prying eyes were going to judge us over ramen noodles, I yelled back.
“For the last time, no!”
Expectedly, she replied, “Well, you will be.”
According to Rosie’s logic, two people can’t sit in an apartment alone, platonically, for a few hours. Just because one of them came home with the other’s cardigan wrapped around her shoulders.
And stayed up the entire night thinking about every moment, every touch, every word.
It’s crazy logic. Already so ridiculous that I didn’t tell her how the night ended.
There were a lot of details I described. Grant driving his BMW, one confident hand on the steering wheel and the other with its defined veins resting on the center console, was a sight to see. So was the look he gave me through the length of his lashes, under the fluorescent lights of mini golf, green eyes gentle and kind.
The most unforgettable sight, however, is permanently burned into my brain. Parked outside my building’s front door. His upper body leaning over the leather interior of his car. Fingers twitching, like they’re longing to touch or hold something. Gemstone eyes glancing up and down my face in a way that lit up every part of my body.
I thought Grant wanted to kiss me. But he didn’t.
I kept that detail to myself. Reciting it to Rosie would immortalize the fact that Grant could have leaned over and pressed his lips to mine, but he chose not to.
