Clem’s top guesses were the park, a birthday party, and Disneyland.
After I snag a parking spot, there’s a sequence of unbuckling seatbelts, opening and closing doors, and helping the smallest of us out of the car before heading towards the entrance.
“I used to come here all the time when I was a kid, with my parents,” Liliana says, glancing through the tall gates.
Warmth covers my heart and my grin spreads wide. “Me too. It was mine and my mom’s favorite spot.”
After ten minutes of mumbled complaints about me paying, we’re through the gates and standing in front of hole one. It’s simple, with the only obstacle being a few winding curves. I’ve been here enough times to know that if you hit the second brick on the first curve, you can hop the course and get a hole-in-one.
But winning isn’t the goal. It’s a slow day of the week and I intend to spend as much time playing my favorite game—with Clementine’s happy dances and Liliana’s wide smile—as I can.
So when my niece wants to try again and again because her golf ball won’t stop landing in the bushes, I let her, and I take the space next to Liliana in the meantime.
“Clem’s cute, huh?”
She smiles and nods. “She’s adorable.”
Clem knocks her ball further out-of-bounds when Liliana angles herself towards me, balancing her body on her pink golf club. “Why did you want to come here?”
“I told you. You deserve some fun.”
“We have fun no matter where we are.” Her voice is so casual when she says it, half distracted by Clementine whacking a rock into the green, I think she doesn’t realize what she just said.
But I do. And it’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.
“You deserve some time away from studying. You need to let loose and give yourself a break.”
“Grant.” Her defeated tone is a dead giveaway for what she’ll say next. Any attempt to get her to ease up on herself is countered with how badly she cares about her grades. “I can’t afford to take a break. I need to pass this class and get a decent grade, at least.”
I know.
Does she think I’ve forgotten how much this means to her? My intention is never to sabotage her, or work against something important to her. I would never do anything to risk her grade, if it means so much to her.
Except for the one time I did.
Guilt drops into my stomach. The memory of my mistake eats away at me even now. I don’t know if she thinks about it as often as I do, or if it suddenly invades her brain at night like it does to mine.
I glance over at Clem again to make sure she’s in a safe distance before dropping my head in shame.
“I’m still so sorry Liliana. I hope you know that.”
My emotions always feel heightened here. Tonight is no different. I clench my jaw, disappointed with my past self and still hurting from the memories of that week, when there’s a soft grip on my left forearm.
“Grant.” She sounds softer. “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize again.”
“It’s not okay.”
“Hey,” she says, poking at my side lightly. I look over at her, met with friendly eyes I don’t deserve. “I know I wasn’t the easiest on you when we started talking again, and I kept saying I didn’t want to hear your side.”
My shoulders feel heavier.
“But I’m glad you told me.” I see her throat bob, like she’s nervous or unsure of what she’s about to say, but the corners of her mouth start to lift into a smile. The weight starts to lighten. “It changed how I saw you. And for what it’s worth, I forgive you, Grant.”
I stop breathing. It’s worth everything.
There are probably an infinite number of things I’ve wanted since meeting Liliana. To learn about her, to care for her, to see the hazy gloss in her eyes right after a kiss. Out of everything, earning her forgiveness is what I’ve wanted the most.
Apart from helping her with her story—which isn’t even finished yet—and buying her a drink or two, I’m not sure I’ve done anything towards achieving that. Without thinking, I bend to her, skepticism laced in my voice.
