“I don’t want to do it. When he said you would be responsible, I was happy.” Locke lets himself smile for a few more seconds before it starts to falter. “You said no, though.”
“He told you that, too?”
“No. You didn’t grow up with us.” The hairs stand up on my skin. It triggers every part of me in the worst way possible. My spine straightens and I grip onto the side of my seat, hard. “Dad can’t manipulate you.”
Locke doesn’t notice how quickly I start fuming. His last sentence falls on my deaf ears, and anger overtakes me. I try to hold onto my positive intentions, and how I felt after patching things up with my best friend. But the mention of my fatherless childhood sends me reeling.
“At least you had a dad.” I’ve never said it aloud to someone before. “That’s more than I can say. You wouldn’t know about that, would you?”
I expect an awkward silence to stretch. Again, he surprises me, nodding.
“You’re right. I figured that’s why you hate me so much.”
I tsk. “I’m pissed off. I have shit I have to work through, but I don’t hate you.” My head turns away from him, frowning.
“You do hate me.”
“I don’t.”
I’ve disliked Locke since I found out my father had another son. So close in age, and one he was willing to give his time to. Watching them interact makes irrationally upset, and every time I see Locke, I’m reminded of everything I never got from a dad who should have loved me.
But I can’t say I hate Locke. It’s too strong of a word.
Instead, I say, “I resent you.”
“Is that not the same thing?”
“No,” I cross my arms, “Hate is way stronger of a word.”
“It hurts the same.” Locke messes with his glasses again. It’s too many times in one sitting to be rational, and it reminds me how Lily mindlessly messes with her pen or chips her nail polish when she’s nervous. “I can’t blame you. I don’t have any negative feelings towards you, though.”
I’m still annoyed, but his claim brings me back to what started this. The conversation Liliana had with Billie, and the conversation with me that followed. This isn’t how I imagined getting to the topic, but it’s here, so I’ll take it.
“I was told you and Billie see me in a certain light. Do you mind expanding on that?”
He flinches uncomfortably. I do, too, with how awkward this is.
“It’s embarrassing.”
“What’s embarrassing is having my girlfriend lecture me about being nice to you because she thinks I’ve judged you unfairly.”
“Wait.” His eyebrows raise. “She said that?”
“Yes. After speaking to Billie.” I hold back on confessing the extent she went through to get her point across.
“Wow. Billie was telling the truth.” My face twists in confusion. He explains, “She told me they talked. She told Liliana that…”
Without meaning to, I’ve leaned in further, hanging onto every word. It’s the closest I’ve gotten to finding out what they spoke about together.
“What did she tell her? Liliana won’t tell me.”
Locke chuckles, and the widest smile I’ve seen since knowing him grows onto his face. Under the dying sunlight, I can see the faint dimple on his left cheek. It seems we both inherited that, too.
“She’s cool. You have a really good one, Grant.”
“Hey.” I point my finger. “Don’t get any ideas. Keller had his fucking nerve trying to set you two up.”
His laughter echoes off the interior of my car. It’s strange. Locke is usually pressed suits and serious faces. Here, he’s nerdy pajamas and cackles. I want to laugh along with him purely for the absurdity of it, but it still doesn’t feel right.
