Abbott patted my bottom. “Off you go. Strip and stretch out spread eagle on the table. We’ll be in by and by.”
The downstairs dining room is creepy. It looks like something from a medieval castle, and having to strip and climb on the table did something to me. My heart raced. My clit swelled. This wasn’t supposed to be about sex, but Ineededan orgasm.
And then I remembered Kieran saying both he and Gwen would give me an orgasm cocktail. He knew what this would do to me. My vampires were taking care of me.
I stretched out on the table and waited. My arms weren’t bound. I wasn’t a slave. Iwantedto be here, doing this, more than I wanted to be doing anything else in the world.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ajax
As it turned out, this day was the first of many I spent in a dungeon cell with Josef nearby. He worked with me twice a week for months. At first, I was in a cell while he was outside of it. He released Abbott’s hold on my wolf, and the wolf came out. Josef had me practicechangingmyself to human, holding onto my humanity,changingback to wolf, and then back to human. Fourchangesbefore I could feed, and the right amount of time between, or it started again. I lost so much weight the first two weeks, so I got the hang of it fast, before I lost all my muscle tone, because they didn’t allow me extra work-out time just because I’d lost weight from so manychangeswithout a meal.
Eventually, Josef let go of the leash controlling my wolf and sparred with me. I was challenged to hold onto my human form while this ancient warrior fought me. He’d been some famous Roman General or something, and the dude knew how to fight.
If I slipped into my wolf form, hechangedme back to human, whipped me bloody while he held me in my human form, and then dropped the leash and sparred with me some more while I was bloody and in pain with a rabid vampire punching and kicking at me.
Okay, sorabidis a bit much, but damn. He kept doing it until I could stay human. He was strict and demanding, but he knewhow to egg me on until I found the strength I needed to pull it off.
Eventually, I could hold onto my humanity while we sparred. I could shift to wolf on command, and I could shift back to human. When Kieran or Abbott took me to the woods, I remembered what happened when I was the wolf. I could stop the wolf from doing something stupid.Usually.
I even managed to spar with Josef holding my warrior form for short bouts. This involves hips that are human enough to easily stand upright, human shoulders, long sharp claws instead of a normal paw, and a large wolf head. Part human and part wolf — the best of both forms when it comes to winning a fight.
But still, Abbott said I couldn’t have total control of my wolf when he or Josef or Kieran wasn’t with me.
Kieran started releasing the leash more often at home when he was awake, but it had to go back before the sun took him.
Home. The Doyles’ house was home to me, but I felt like a guest some days. Or an employee. I wanted to feel as if I truly belonged, but I didn’t know what was missing.
Queen Sophia visited us about once a month, sometimes with the Dragon King, sometimes just with her red-headed bodyguard. Her bodyguard was just that — a guard and not a lover. I’d met the woman he lived with. And yet, he and Sophia seemed closer than I was with Gwen. I adored Gwen. I thought I loved her, but something was missing.
By the time we hit mid-summer, any outsider would’ve looked at the four of us and assumed we were solidified, that nothing could possibly come between us.
And yet, it didn’t feel permanent to me. I helped dress Arabella one afternoon in late June, months after the war finished. The Swan Queen and Dragon King had invited us to their new home, a castle in the same neighborhood as the coterie house. The people who’d built it had bought eight lots, so eventhough it was in a modern-day subdivision, the property didn’t feel like it. Walls surrounded it on all sides except the one with a steep cliff going down to the water. No one could see it from the road, though there were plenty of online pictures of it while it was being built, because the locals had been so fascinated by the huge castle.
Arabella was so excited about being invited, I thought she might vibrate out of her skin. I helped her into her summer dress, and grinned at the matching, wide brimmed, floppy hat. Even the shoes matched perfectly. Gwen had taken her shopping in Atlanta a few times, and we’d learned our girllovesto dress up.
I was in the suit my swan had put out for me to wear. I may be in charge of her for most things, but I let her tell me what to wear for fancy occasions.
I’d intended to buy my own car a month earlier, but Kieran had purchased me a Jaguar F-Type, which cost more than I’d have ever considered spending on myself. He’d bought it in my name, not his. It wasmine. A birthday gift. And no, we had no idea what my actual birthday was, so he’d decided to use the one on my ID. Assuming I was five when I was abducted, this would be my twenty-first birthday. There’s a chance I was six, which would make me twenty-two. I’d never been able to narrow down my age at all, but Abbott’s people had looked through my former Master’s records to find out when I was abducted, so I finally had a birthday and an age. Give or take a year.
After a lifetime of not having a birthday to even acknowledge, having people I cared about and lovedcelebratemy birthday meant more to me than I could possibly express. Gwen and Arabella bought me a bunch of clothes, and Arabella made me a birthday cake. I’d never had one with my name written on it, and I nearly cried when she showed it to me.
That’d been six weeks before, but a thrill still went through my body when I walked to the garage and opened the door to my car so Arabella could get in.
My car.
And the sound of the engine when I started it was enough to set anyone’s adrenaline flowing.
Aaron Drake met us outside when we arrived, and asked to sit in my car. He was clearly enamored with it, despite the fact he had at least four equally impressive vehicles in his garage.
Dinner was superb, and his children were adorable. After we ate, Queen Sophia led us to a glassed-in veranda overlooking the Tennessee River. Her husband closed the door with us outside, and I assumed he took the kids somewhere and watched over them.
Queen Sophia handed out mint juleps, and I marveled at how bizarre this was. Dressed up, on what amounted to a Southern air-conditioned porch, drinking a fancy drink, waiting to hear whether Queen Sophia was going to finally give Arabella to us, so we didn’t have to worry about her being yanked away with no warning.
“I’m conflicted,” Sophia told us. “Abbott feels the same. We’re both waiting for a few things to happen, and until they do, neither of us feels comfortable making this arrangement permanent. On the other hand, we worry that by not giving you some semblance of stability, we’re holding you both back from attaining the very goals we’re awaiting.”
My heart fell to my feet, and I put my glass on a small table by my rocking chair. I wanted to pull Arabella to me and comfort her, but good manners dictated we stay in our own chairs and maintain a civil conversation.
