"Because it's Gunnar."
"And?"
"And he's—" I gesture helplessly. "He's Vail and Vanir's son. He grew up in the clubhouse just like me. He's my friend. Was my friend. Before I ruined it by?—"
"By what?" Mom asks gently. "By letting yourself feel something?"
The tears come before I can stop them.
"By letting him see me," I choke out. "The real me. The broken, fucked-up, worthless me that nobody wants to keep."
"Oh, baby." Mom sets down her latte, reaches across to take my hand. "You're not worthless."
"Tell that to Njal. Tell that to Bjorn."
"Those boys were idiots who didn't deserve you."
"They proved what I am. What I've always been. Just—" My voice cracks. "Just good enough to fuck, not good enough to keep."
Mom's quiet for a long moment.
When she speaks, her voice is firm.
"You know what I think? I think you're scared."
"Of course I'm scared?—"
"Not of Gunnar hurting you. Of him not hurting you."
I blink, confused. "What?"
"You're scared he might actually be different. That he might actually see you and stay. Because if that's true, if someone like Gunnar can love you the way you deserve, then it means Njal and Bjorn were wrong. And if they were wrong, you've been punishing yourself for years for nothing."
The words land like a punch.
"That's not?—"
"Isn't it?" Mom squeezes my hand. "You've built this entire identity around being damaged. Around being the girl nobody kept. But what if you're not that girl? What if you never were? What if you're the girl who survived two assholes and came out stronger?"
"I'm not stronger. I'm a fucking mess."
"You're human. There's a difference." She pauses. "Can I tell you something?"
I nod, not trusting my voice.
"Gunnar's been watching you for years."
My head snaps up. "What?"
"Years, honey. The way he looks at you when you're not paying attention... it's the way your father looks at me. Like you're the only thing in the room that matters."
"That's not?—"
"It is. Everyone sees it except you." Mom's eyes are gentle. "And maybe that's exactly why this could work."
"How? How could this possibly work? Look at my history with club men?—"
"Exactly. Look at your history. Njal and Bjorn were club men who treated you like garbage. So is Gunnar, but he never did. He's been your friend through all of it. Patient. Kind. Showing up every time you needed him without asking for anything in return." She leans forward. "That's not nothing, Ingrid. That's everything."
