For not lying to me when a lie would have been so much easier.
"I love you, Dad."
"I love you too, sweetheart. More than you'll ever know."
He pulls me into a hug, careful of my ribs.
Gentle despite the violence he's about to commit.
That's my father.
Tender and terrifying at the same time.
I find Gunnar in our room around noon.
He's awake now, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at nothing.
Lost in thought.
Lost in whatever darkness lives inside his head.
"Hey," I say softly.
He looks up.
Something shifts in his expression when he sees me.
The tension easing.
The hardness softening.
The shadows receding, just a little.
"Hey."
"How are you feeling?"
"I should be asking you that."
"I asked first."
He manages a small smile.
It doesn't quite reach his eyes, but it's there.
"Tired. Focused. Ready for this to be over."
I cross to him and stand between his knees.
I let him wrap his arms around my waist and pull me close.
His forehead rests against my stomach, his breath warm through my shirt. "Tonight," he says quietly.
"I know."
"We end it tonight."
"I know."
