I tried not to sigh. Our relationship had been on and off for years at this point, ever since I’d returned to the academy. We were both students at the time, and with Rafe not around me constantly, I’d been caught up in Carissa instead. Unfortunately, our constant on-again, off-again cycle had led us to this point, where she couldn’t let go. I also suspected she was holding onto a misplaced sense that since she’d‘had me first’, she should be the one to keep me.
I couldn’t tell her that she’d never had me in the first place, of course. Rafe had told me she was bad news from the moment he’d met her, and the fact that the two of them couldn’t stand each other was a red flag on its own. Rafe wasn’t even trying to rile her up half the time, and they’d almost come to blows more than once.
They actually had once, now that I really thought about it. I couldn’t even remember what he’d said, but Carissa had actually swung a fist at him, then drenched him with her water affinity when the shadows held her back. He’d only laughed at her like a psycho.
She hadn’t spoken to me for two weeks after that, pissed as hell that I didn’t end my friendship with Rafe.
Because that was another major issue with Carissa. It wasn’t just that she didn’t like him, it was the fact that I was closer to him than my own blood relatives. She didn’t like that I was close to anyone except her, really, and that only became obvious while I worked on my psychology degree.
Every psychology student knows the pain of learning what’s wrong with everyone they know as they go through their coursework.
Carissa was still waiting on my response, staring at me with wide eyes. Wide eyes that no longer affected me.
It was a jarring realization.
“We agreed that last visit was a mistake,” I said softly, referring to when I’d been here before first term.
We’d had yet another fight, and I’d left to cool off. I went into a little café to get some coffee…and I’d met Skye. Even wearing an apron with flour on her cheek, she was like a ray of sunshine beaming through the overcast sky.
“Right,” Carissa croaked.
I sighed, ignoring her sniffles.
“You have a Key out there somewhere, too, Cari.” I said, ignoring how her weeping intensified at my stupid use of her nickname. “Someone deserves your full attention. And it’s not me. It’s never been me.”
“She doesn’t even want you!” Carissa cried, throwing her arms out wide. “Sherejectedyou, Wyatt. She rejected you and–”
“I rejected her first!” I snapped. Carissa froze. “I didn’t realize what I was doing, but I rejected her first. I hurt her. I pushed her away, and she finally couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t blame her. I was an idiot. I’d been so, so wrong to push her away.”
I scrubbed my hands down my face, ignoring the stinging in my eyes.
Carissa took a shaky step toward me, and I backed away quickly.
“Wyatt,” she said softly, and I hated it. I hated that tone. I hated that she always spoke to me like I was falling apart when I wasn’t, and how she ignored me when I really needed her. “She doesn’t deserve you. She’s not even–”
I cut her off, already hating myself for what I was about to say. But it needed to be said. She needed to understand somehow.
I looked her right in the eye. “Even when I wasn’t sure if I wanted her…I knew I didn’t want you.”
Her lips parted in shock before her jaw clenched.
“Fuck you, Wyatt,” she whispered. “I would have done anything you asked.”
I almost groaned in relief as she turned on her heel to leave.
I knew she’d do anything I asked.
And that was exactly why things had never worked between us.
I had exactlyten seconds of soul-crushing silence before a twig snapped nearby.
My head jerked up, the branches on the tree vibrating behind me as I prepared to defend myself.
Unfortunately for me, though, it wasn’t a threat against my life that stared at me from the tree line. It was somethingmuchworse.
“Aiden?” I croaked.
Aiden’s warm brown eyes were wide as he whipped his head back and forth almost comically, from me to where Carissa had disappeared.
