Coiling energy suffused my body.“Please?—”
“I know.” He kissed the base of my throat. “Oh, Iknow,my angel. Thehunger.But wait. Don’t anticipate. Don’t rush.Feelwhat I’m doing to you.”
Iwas.The trickle of his fingertips over my shoulder, moving my gown’s untied straps aside so his lips could caress my collarbones had myundividedattention.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered as his mouth trailed lower along the neckline of the dress, and then cool air brushed the top of my breast as he peeled the dress down. “Thisthingunder here, this black thing, thekorsett, thisbustier,it’s so damn sexy. Smooth satin like your angelic skin.”
I stretched my hands over my head, the anticipation making me tremble.
“It’s sexy as hell. I am undone.”
He grabbed one of my hands and yanked us both up to sitting, and I laughed with the shock and opened my eyes.
Nicolai crawled backward down my body, his hands reaching under my skirt and stroking from my knees up to my thighs. The warmth and strength of his hands on my legs dragged my skirt out from under my behind and up to my hips and then yanked it over my head and off of me. The copper silk billowed over theside of the bed.
He stood on his knees as his eyes raked down my body. When his eyes met mine again, he was smiling and a little breathless.“Damn.”
The admiration in his eyes was stunning.
Jimmy’s utter rejection of me in the middle of our wedding had injured a core part of myself, a part that had quantified my value as my attractiveness to men.
Yeah, yeah. I know.ShouldI have thought that?
Probably not.
But Jimmy’s church had told me in a million different ways to wear longer skirts and sleeves and higher necklines because my very presence was a temptation men couldn’t resist, thatI was the prizeif I was meek enough, that I wasmore valuable than rubiesif I followed their rules, that I would bewantedif I did what they said.
And, you know, TV advertising and every post on social media slammed those thoughts home.
Data churned in my mind all the time.
It messed with my head.
I’dtried.
I’d tried so hard, but Jimmy hadn’t prized me. No matter how much I’d crammed and stuffed my round, jiggly self into that square hole, he’d walked away without a backward glance.
Being. Thrown. Away.
Hurt.
And Nicolai’s reluctance, or his strategic maneuvering or whatever, but every time he’d casually brushed me off had been a hard prod at that crushed spot in my soul.
Bright excitement filled his eyes, and his teeth pressed his lip as he looked at me.
Jimmy had leered at me, even gotten grabby, but it always felt like he was mocking me while he did it, like he was such a manly-man that any woman,even me,tempted him.
I don’t think Jimmy hadeverlooked atme with real desirelike this, and I’d tried so hard to be everything he’d said he wanted.
The hunger in Nicolai’s eyes felt real, like that was a real reaction from deep in his body, like he really,reallyliked what he saw.
And he sawme.
Before I even knew what I was doing, I reached with both hands, grabbed his shirt, and dragged Nicolai right down on top of me.
His whole muscular body pressed mine into the mattress.
He caught himself with both hands just outside my shoulders, but his mouth plundered mine in a lavish, panting kiss.
