CHAPTER 16
jimmy in the casino
LEXI
Nicolai and I worked the balcony VIP area of the nightclub one more time, glad-handing a quick circuit to inform his childhood friends we were leaving for the night.
The circuit took over an hour as I hung on his arm. He flinched away from every group several times before they let him go.
History shaded Nicolai’s conversations with them. Most of the people he talked to, way over half of them, saw him and relaxed their shoulders, leaned in, faces softened in an unforced smile or a grin, a step toward him with their hand extended for his hand, arm, or shoulder.
Yet he seemed cool to everyone, almost aloof, nearly alone in the crowd.
Except his arm stayed around my waist, gently securing me against his side.
The press of his body against mine for hours was almost overwhelming. I liked it.
Heckers, Ilovedit. I could come tocraveit.
But I wasn’t used to a man’s body in constantcontact with mine, even through the fine fabric of his suit, even through the thick silk of my dress.
His touch didn’t feel gross. It didn’t feel like having sex in public.
That restrained public display of affection wasn’t crass.
The weight of his hand resting near my waist comforted me, standing in this crowd where I knew no one, where everyone we met examined me, where people might be talking about me behind my back.
His unwavering physical support steadied my ankles in my strappy high-heeled shoes, protected me from the hands or even too-close gazes of other men, included me in his circles of friends, warmed me when the air conditioning vents blasted arctic-dry wind onto my neck, and reminded me of his strength and presence every second of every minute in that loud, crowded nightclub.
Ottalie, Charlotte, and Poppy seemed to be hiding somewhere else, which was fine. If they’d tried to rub themselves on Nicolai like stray cats to mark their territory or peed on his foot, I’m not sure how grown-up I could have reacted.
I might have been a little jealous, if I’d known him longer than a day, of those beautiful, slim women leading with their chins to kiss both his cheeks, who’d obviously kissed him hello for decades, until he tilted his head to the side to catch their eye and told them he was on his way out.
Nicolai was still a little reserved and quiet,watching.That ebullient man who’d spilled his heart in the church to me, or wherever those vows had come from, was so different from how he seemed with other people, even his friends, even his brother.
He was a little more sarcastic, a bit more jaded, a shark streak of bored worldliness running through everything he said.
And hewatched.
When questions rose in their eyes and reaching hands, he brushed them off and drew me in to acquaint me with his friends.
His hands swept over my palms and bare arms as he included me in conversations and told people that they would seeboth of uslater in the month at the races in London and at John’s wedding at the Royal Palace of Madrid.
His assurances sounded like I was a permanent fixture, not just a wife for a year, but the plan was to make us look real.
Nicolai looked very real.
I stayed at his side, smiling and telling people how great it had been to meet them while his hand casually rested on my waist.
No more talk of fae lords or shadow daddies. I was done being the paranoid weirdo.
It was a lot, though. It had been aday.
For that matter, it had been aweek.
Just one week ago, I’d been packing up the last of my kitchen utensils and the airbed in my apartment in Scottsbluff and moving them to Jimmy’s house or to storage for after our wedding. I’d been happy and excited andsettledon the rest of my life, maybe someday teaching Sunday school at Jimmy’s family’s evangelical church.
And now I was a small fish swimming in dangerous waters, smiling and making small talk with the hammerheads and tiger sharks.
