Calling after the boys’ bedtime was a cardinal sin. “I’m sorry to call so late, but I?—”
“Youknowthat I’ve been with Rogan in the hospitalall dayuntil they finally let him come home, and Ijustgot him and Jake to bed andfinallyhave a few minutes for myself.”
“I know, and I’m sorry to call so late, but?—”
“I just hope you didn’t wake Jake up. You know how hard it is to get him to go to bed at night, just like you were.”
I was aware that I had been a difficult child, especially concerning sleep. My toddler-phase night terrors and general bedtime problems were my mother’s favorite topics. “I’m really sorry to call, and I’m even sorrier that I need to ask?—”
“God,Lexi. Why can’t you be moreconsiderate?”
That hit me hard, right in the middle of my chest.
My shaking hands were already clutching the steering wheel. I squeezed it more tightly to steady my voice.
The car was heating up to the point where my skin was prickling from sweat.
And I couldn’t even breathe anymore.“I’m sorry.”
“If you want to talk, call me tomorrow after Jake has gone to school. Rogan has to stay home for a few days, maybe even until next week. Maybe you shouldn’t call until next Monday.”
“Right, Mom. Message received. I hope everything’s okay with Rogan.”
I tapped the phone’s screen and ended the call.
Maybe I should have pressed harder andtoldher that I was in trouble over her objections.
It wouldn’t have mattered even if I had told her.
Gathering myself took twenty minutes, so it was nine o’clock when I made my second phone call, desperately trying to figure out what to do. “Hi, Melissa?”
Jimmy’s mother’s voice was lower than I’d ever heard it before, even lower than when she was calling vendors who hadn’t delivered construction materials ten days past the contracted site-due date. “Lexi, why areyoucallingme?”
“I didn’t do it. Iswear.”
“I don’t want to get in the middle of this. He’s my son.”
“Can you justtalkto Jimmy? Can you tell him that I wouldneverdo that to him? That I’mnot,and I wouldnever?”
“And why would I talk to him foryou?”
My throat was so tight that my voice squeaked through. “Because you know me. Because you know that I was saving myself. Because I would never cheat on him,ever.”
“Melissa, you have to know that I would never tell Jimmy that. I’ve never even”–I whispered the next part–”had sexwith anyone, not even Jimmy.”
“Then why wouldheagree with such a thing?”
“I don’t know.”
Even though I did, or at least I suspected.
Or at least my bleeding heart feared and didn’t want to believe.
“Melissa, you have tobelieveme. I never told himanythinglike that. I never even pressured him to get married forfour years.Even you and Mason teased him about how long he was stringing me along.”
“That doesn’t matter. He said that you told him that you were knocked up.”
And that was it. The Johnson family was closing ranks. I was on the outside.
