That spark, that tiny ember of belief, dimmed and floated, rising out of my reach.
On the phone screen, Nicolai had been peering into my eyes, and he turned his chin but didn’t look away from me as he said something in Russian to the priest.
The priest grumbled in English, “You may kiss the bride.”
I remembered Nicolai’s fingertips brushing my jaw.
In the video, my shoulders lowered as my head tilted back and I closed my eyes. He kissed me softly at first, a brush with his lips over mine and a retreat.
In the close-up, I could see that Nico had backed up an inch and looked into my fluttering eyes, checking in.
He must’ve liked what he saw because he swooped in for more, a kiss that looked like he loved me and he’d kissed me a thousand times before, his thumb tracing my jawline. His hand where he had been touching my chin opened, his fingers cradling my jaw and then slipping back into my hair at the nape of my neck where I’d tied my bleached-blond hair into an updo for my street performance.
I could still feel how he’d kissed me.
When he broke it off, andhehad broken it off because I sure as heck hadn’t, my lips were still parted as he straightened. I’d been left dazed, my breath hitching in my lungs, my ankles shaking in my high heels.
“Hello, Mrs. Romanov,” he’d murmured to me.
Last night, that kiss had convinced me. He’d been gentle and sweet, like he’d been repeating those vows a thousand times with his lips on mine.
No wonder I’d been practically stumbling afterwards, drunk by association.
I’d had the moment at my wedding I’d dreamed of, a real profession of love that might last a lifetime, but it had been from a guy I’d known for less than a few hours.
And it had been completely fake, and that hurt.
When Jimmy had left me at the altar withheron his arm, nothing had ever mattered again. When we’d been dating all those years, I’d changed everything about myself for him, been whatever he and his family had wanted me to be, and he’dstillleft me.
He’d left me easily and without even looking back as he’d marched out of the church with that other woman, the one he’d been living with foryears,the one he hada dogwith.
Jimmy had promised me that he loved me and that we’d be together forever.
What was a momentary dazed look in a man’s eyes, if years of promises meant nothing?
That kiss had meant nothing.
Because nothing mattered.
A guy I’d literally scraped up off the sidewalk hours before had said everything I needed, and the cold realization of how much I was starving for those words poured cement into any little cracks of dreaminess that might have survived Jimmy’s betrayal.
If Nico could saythat,if he could look at me likethatand whisper what my heart had been dying to hear, then nothing was real. Nothing mattered at all.
Nicolai glanced up from our wedding video on his phone at me, and one of his eyebrows twitched lower, a micro-expression that bled through the acting.
Yeah, what he’d said during his vows disturbed him, too.
He hadn’t meant it, because no one could have meant that after knowing anyone, let aloneme,for only a few hours.
Ueli looked up from the phone, staring at Nico. “You really married her.”
Nico looked back, his face stonily blank. “It was a bit spur of the moment.”
Ueli shook his head. “All right, I guess we’re bringing her into the security bubble. I’m going to need some background information from her.”
“No, you don’t. She’s in the bubble. Get her a watch with a panic button. You don’t need anything else.”
He shrugged again, his hands rising off his legs in exasperation. “Fine. We’re going to need to train her how we move through situations, especially in crowds. And for the love of God, don’t turn off your location services again. We were frantic last night when you were suddenly gone.”
