“You rescued yourself,” he said, smiling in the dark, “and you saved Alina. I’ve never been so proud of you. You looked like a conquering queen, leading those troops out.”
“I didn’t manage to save you,” she whispered.
“But you created the diversion that saved the girls the human traffickers were going to sell. Once you, Alina,and the girls were gone, the Rogues could get me out. The operation to evacuate me required the success of your operation. You did save me.”
“But you taught me how,” she said. “I can’t count the number of times you taught me to use whatever was at my disposal, to perform a bump-pass, to make a weapon out of a pen or a cord, or how to fight, or when not to fight. Dieter Schwarz taught me thosethings.”
He shook his head. A cramp pained his neck from the running and long drive. “Dieter Schwarz never existed. He was a lie manufactured by a government to keep a bad kid from getting in trouble for crimes he’d committed. Dieter Schwarz is just another lie.”
Moonlight glistened on her blond hair as she tilted her head to the side. The curls were falling out of her bun from when she’d beensleeping in the car while he drove. “I don’t think you’re a lie.”
“I never stopped being Raphael Mirabaud. Dieter Schwarz was just a fake skin covering a hollow man. The last few weeks have taught me that.”
She found his fingers on the dark table.“Lieblingwächter—”
“No, it’s true. Raphael Mirabaud lied about who he was to escape punishment. Raphael Mirabaud would lie to someone like Wulf andnever trust him with the truth, even after years. I never trusted you with the truth, either. If I had told either one of you who I was andwhatI was, Wulfram might have known where to find you in Geneva and rescued you.”
“You had your reasons, Raphael.” Her low voice was soft in his ears.
“Not enough reasons. I’ve always been a ruthless bastard. I lied to my best friend for years. I saidthat I could tell him anything, but I didn’t tell him the most important things. I didn’t tell him who I am, and I didn’t tell him that I am in love with you, that I have been for years, that you’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. That’s exactly what Raphael Mirabaud would have done. I was fooling myself all those years, thinking a new name gave me a new soul.”
“It wasn’t the name that gave youa new soul, Dieter.”
The nameDieterstabbed through him like a scream. “Don’t call me that.”
“Yes, I will, even if I’m the only person who does. You are Dieter Schwarz.” She let go of his hand, and the silk of her dress rustled somewhere below the table. “As pure as the alpine ice, forged in the pristine snow of the Swiss Alps.”
That sounded so damned pretentious. “I never said it like that.”
“I’m embellishing. I’m a princess. I can embellish if I want to. You saved my life and Wulfram’s more times than I can count, not only by actually taking bullets and knives meant for us, but by keeping us out of situations where we would have been in danger. You did your best every day, everyminute,to protect us. If you want to establish a bright line in your soul, thenfine.Raphael Mirabaudwouldn’t have sacrificed himself to protect his friend and a child. Dieter Schwarzdid.”
He grimaced and was glad she couldn’t see him wince. “I can’t think of you as a child. I’ve tucked that part of our lives away, deep in my head.”
“I turned thirteen pretty soon after we met.”
“Not helping.”
“All the time I was a teenager, I adored you. You were the shining example of an honorable and goodman that I needed in my life.”
“Wulfram should have been that. Hewasthat. He was your father, essentially.”
“But he was my big brother, and I was busy rebelling against whatever he said. God, the screaming fights.” Her voice rose. “‘You aren’t the boss of me!’” And her voice dropped to a manly-ish alto with a German accent. “I am, quite literally and legally, the boss of you.’ I tried to killhim more than once.”
Raphael chuckled. “I was there for most of them. I remember once, in the kitchen when you grabbed that round, wooden thing—”
“The rolling pin,” she said.
“Yeah, that, and I ended up holding you with your arms folded across your chest because you were going for him. You were going to take him out. And Wulf stood there and lectured you from across the room, the pompous ass.I’m surprised the bruises on my shins from where you were kicking me ever healed.”
“I remember that, too. I wanted to date—somebody.I don’t quite remember who.”
“I remember that you were fourteen, and the guy had a lot of stupid ideas about what his date ‘owed him.’ Wulfram threatened to lock you in a dungeon.”
“Yeah. He threatened that a lot.”
“He had good reasons.”
“But you never threatenedthat.”
