Dieter took her hand in his, and she clamped down any odd feelings that rose when their fingers touched. “I thought they had orders to prioritize Pierre, not that they were actively trying to kill you. I should never have left you with them. Even with everything between us, I should have gone with you to Monaco.”
“I wouldn’t have letyou come with me,” she said, almost laughing at him while she tamped down something shaking and stupid that was rattling around in her stomach. “I hated you, remember?”
“Did you hate me?” he asked, still holding her hand. He was staring at their intertwined fingers, not looking up at her. She wondered if his gray eyes were stormy with quiet anger or hurt.
Flicka tightened her fingers on his,trying to give herself time to think about how to say terrible things. “It wasn’t like that.”
“What was it like?”
“Dieter, please.”
“Tell me.”
She held onto his hand because she didn’t want him to leave her again. “In London, you walked out on me, with no warning, no fight, nothing. I didn’t do anything wrong. You just decided something and left me. Yes, I was angry. I was hurt. A lot.”
“Do you hate me now?”
She held his hand more tightly. “No, but I’m afraid that you’ll walk out again.”
“I wouldn’t—”
“You did before.”
“I’m sorry. I really am sorry. Things were different, then.”
Flicka sucked in a deep breath. “I’m afraid you won’t come back from getting Alina tomorrow. I’m afraid you’ll just go there, and then you’ll be gone.”
“I will come back. I promise I will. I’ve neverlied to you.”
“Yes,” she said. “That’s true.” And it was.
“I need to have a couple of meetings and collect Alina from her babysitter, and then I’ll come back. Iwillcome back. I promise.”
“You promise?” she asked.
“I promise,” Dieter said. “Two days, and I’ll be back. While I’m gone, stay in the hotel room, order in room service and put it on the tab, and don’t go out. Just stay safe. I couldn’tbear it if something happened to you.”
