“Don’t eavesdrop if you don’t like what you might hear,”she said simply.
Suddenly Alice’s eyes widened. “Oh, shit.”
“What?” Lizzy grabbed one of Alice’s hands. “What is it?”
“In the fake life I was living, Cain and I were… intimate,” Alice practically whispered. “Surely he wouldn’t have done anything to me while I was an unconscious vegetable. Would he?”
Lizzy felt the woman’s hand sweat, and heat rose on her own skin. What Alice was suggesting was sick. Lizzy would gut Cain herself if he had laid a finger on Alice while she’d been vulnerable and unable to fight back.
“I had strong feelings. Ihavestrong feelings? Hell, I’m not even sure. But they felt, andfeelreal. But Sally, Peri, and Lucian all three said that there was no way Cain is my mate. That my mate will be a wolf because I’m a gypsy healer. But what if that’s null and void now that I have vampire blood running through my veins? Why do I still care about him? Even now, after all he’s done.”
Lizzy sat frozen as she listened to the broken voice coming from Alice’s mouth. Finn wasn’t wrong. Not that she really thought he would be. But Lizzy didn’t want to believe the woman was capable of feeling anything other than disdain for the vampire king. Despite everything she wanted to say about how disgusting the whole situation made her feel, Lizzy held her tongue and waited for Alice to continue. They were finally edging toward whatever was really troubling her friend. She schooled her face to careful neutrality. “Are the emotions still as strong now that you are awake? What were things that happened in your dream that maybe reinforced any fond feelings you had for him?”
“I don’t know. Everything in my head is just chaotic.”
Lizzy gave a sharp nod. “So, setting the weird Cain obsession aside, now that you’re awake, are you craving blood?” Lizzy wondered if they’d share that common thread. She shouldn’t want that for Alice, but at the same time, it would be nice to know someone else who shared her affliction.
Alice shook her head, but something about her expression wasn’t convincing. “I don’t know what I’m craving. I just woke up. Or maybe I do, but I’m in denial. Dammit.” She ran a hand through her dark hair. “I needed to see you because I needed to know if you hate me. And I also thought that if anyone might understand how I’m feeling, it’s you.”
Lizzy’s heart squeezed. “I don’t hate you. It’s not my place to tell you how you should or shouldn’t feel. And you might be the only person who understands how I’m feeling. There’s peace in knowing we’re not alone.” Lizzy wondered if Alice was at war with her own instincts. She was a gypsy healer after all, all light and purity and everything. Maybe her body was fighting the vampire blood, and she didn’t even realize it.
Tears shone in Alice’s eyes. “You’re my only friend, Lizzy. Maybe our friendship came about in an unconventional way, but there it is. And I just needed...” She trailed off with a helpless shrug. “I needed to know you’re okay.”
“You’re no more shocked than I am,” Lizzy said. “When I first met you, I wanted to kick you in the girl parts. Every good friendship should start like that. They’re the kind that last.”
Alice laughed, even as she wrapped her arms tighter around her middle. She looked as if she might fall apart if her vigilance slipped for even a moment.
“I won’t pretend to know what you’re going through, but what I do know is that there have been so many times in my life when I needed a hug and there wasn’t a damn soul around to give me one,” Lizzy said. She didn’t want to get into the details of how she’dhada BFF once upon a time. And even though she’d had Kara, once she was gone, there reallyhadbeen times that she’d needed a hug, badly. But not a soul around her cared. Mostly because they were too busy finding their next hit.
“My Lizzy.”Finn’s anguished-laced voice reverberated off the walls of her mind, but she ignored him. He could offer his comfort later. Right now, she was focused on Alice and letting her know she wasn’t alone. Lizzy opened her arms. “So, I’m offering you a hug. Maybe that makes me messed up in the head, considering you did shoot my veins full of mixed blood. But my life has never been simple or cut and dry.” She made a come here motion. “Bring it in, Alice. You’re not going down the rabbit hole alone. Not anymore.”
After a brief hesitation, Alice leaned into her embrace. Lizzy curled around her friend protectively, offering steady comfort. She felt the wolf in her stir, wanting to offer her own comfort. For long minutes, they simply held each other.
At last, Alice pulled back, scrubbing the tears from her cheeks. She offered a tremulous smile. “I’m sorry, I’m a mess. I just miss how things used to be. When I was sure where I stood in this whole mess. Now—” She shook her head. “Now, I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”
Lizzy squeezed her hand, wishing she could erase the lingering pain in Alice’s eyes. “Nothing to apologize for. Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.” She smiled impishly. “I’m sort of stuck here. And even if I could, you can’t get rid of me that easily. I’m like a fungus. I grow on you, and no amount of ointment gets me to go away.”
Alice huffed a faint laugh. “I’ve never had one of those kinds of friends.” Alice clasped her hands together in her lap. “I’ve had colleagues, acquaintances, and one-night stands, but never a friend. Not a real one.”
They sat then in an easier silence. Lizzy could almost pretend that they weren’t stuck in a room that was her prison, and she wasn’t some weird hybrid thing, and Alice hadn’t been turned into her own version of a hybrid vampire healer. They were just two friends, keeping each other company through a difficult time. She pushed aside the fact that the attack hadn’t cracked the foundations of Alice’s world, just judging by the lost look in the scientist’s eyes. She could almost believe the lie she was wrapping around herself.
Almost.
The point was, she could understand how Alice would be attracted to him. But if Cain was no longer being an ass, that would make it even harder for Alice not to develop feelings for him. Was it possible? She’s a gypsy healer. He’s a vampire. That seemed the equivalent of mixing oil and water. Lizzy stared at the woman she’d come to think of as a friend and waited. She couldn’t say anything yet. She needed to know more before she accidentally stuck her foot in her mouth.
Lizzy shifted on the floor. “And how has he acted now that you’re awake, and you realize what was happening?”
Alice sighed. “He’s mad, but he said he’d let me go if that’s what I wanted. Buuuttt…” she briefly scrunched up her face. “He also said, and I quote, ‘But you don’t know the whole truth yet, Alice. Be very sure before you throw away everything we’ve built. Not to mention, Lizzy and Finn aren’t going anywhere.” Alice shook her head. “I’m afraid of what it means.”
What do I say?Lizzy wracked her brain. She didn’t want to hurt Alice’s feelings, especially while she already looked like a damn kicked puppy. ButCain?Vampire king, psycho killer? How was she supposed to support that? Lizzy didn’t fully comprehend Cain’s behavior either, but she knew what she felt from her wolf when they’d watched Cain deal with Alice’s injury from Claude. The man had been an absolute mess. As if he’d lost a part of himself.
“Maybe he actually does care for you, as much as a narcissistic ass can care for someone,” Lizzy finally said. “At least, that’s the impression my wolf got when Claude attacked you. Cain was desperate to heal you. Maybe what you’re seeing is the man he might have been all along, without the centuries of craving blood and exacting the violence that goes along with that lifestyle.”
Alice looked thoughtful. “Maybe. But what if it’s just gratitude because I survived, or guilt that I was hurt protecting him?” She shuddered. “Was anything he told me while he kept me unconsciouseventrue? Or did he just want to control me?”
Lizzy gripped her shoulders. “Those are valid questions. I won’t lie. It’s weird.” She softened her tone. “But whatever is happening between you, itmightbe real. Finn said he can smell it on Cain.”
Alice’s eyes widened. “Smell it? Smell what?”
