“Why do you think we go through pain, Costin, if not to help others while they’re in the midst of their own agony? If I don’t tell her, then I suffered in vain.”
Alice’s brow furrowed. “Why would they do that?” The question pulled Sally’s thoughts away from her upset mate.
“To control me. It’s the same thing Cain is trying to do with you. Use my … abilities for their own ends.” Sally clasped her hands tightly. “They placed me in a new apartment, gave me a new life. Made me think my parents were dead, and that I was starting over. And I got a job at a bar owned by a rogue werewolf and his pack. The Order intended to force a bond with—” She took a deep breath. Sally still couldn’t say his name. It made her want to vomit.
Peri made a derisive sound. “As if our Sally would ever submit to being manipulated so. They had to use very powerful magic in order to get her to do what they wanted. And even then?—”
“I knew something was wrong. I knew something was missing, and I would cry at night for the ache in my soul. I didn’t remember it was Costin, my mate, the other half of my soul.”
“How did they get around that? I mean, how do you forget your soul mate?”
Sally winced as Alice’s words cut her like a knife.
“She didn’t forget him,” Peri said sharply. “What Alston really did was use magic to make Sally believe in the huge lie that wasn’t her life. He took months away from her real life, months away from those of us who love her and were terrified for herandCostin. But thank the Great Luna, Alston is in hell where he belongs, and there’s a place there with Cain’s name on it, too.”
“I’m sorry,” Alice said quickly. “That was thoughtless of me. I didn’t mean for my words to come out so blunt.”
Sally gave her a small smile. “It’s okay. You couldn’t have known.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “His name was Jericho. In the beginning, I was wary, but he was kind to me. Protective, even. I started to let my guard down. Remember.” She twisted her fingers together. “I thought I was single. I had no memory of any life before that moment.”
She remembered those early days in vivid detail—the tiny apartment that she was so proud of, Jericho’s attention, and his kindness to her. He’d been a lifeline in her confusion.
“I didn’t understand why I felt so empty,” she went on softly. “Like I was missing some vital piece of myself. I just knew something was wrong.”
Alice’s eyes were riveted on Sally’s face. “Did he know about your memories being taken?”
Sally nodded. “He was an agent of the Order playing a part. It was all a sham.”
“He played it well,” Peri offered, her voice gentle. “But, in the end, he ended up as werewolf kibble. So perhaps he played the part a littletoowell.”
Sally’s mouth quirked. “He did play it well, and gradually, I started to trust him.” She thought back on quiet evenings, closing the bar down together. Jericho keeping a respectful distance as he cleaned glasses or wiped counters. She remembered how playful he could be. But even as she thought about it now, there was no fondness. There was no attraction, no loss. She didn’t care for him, hadnevercared for him. It had all been fake.
“He never pushed for more than I was ready to give,” Sally said softly. “Never demanded anything of me at all.”
“Why do I feel a horrible ‘but’ coming on?” Alice practically whispered.
“Because what hediddo is worse,” Peri answered. “And like I said, he became werewolf kibble.”
Alice slowly uncurled from her defensive posture, clearly resonating with that sentiment. Sally continued.
“He gave me a bracelet as a gift.” Sally involuntarily shivered. She could practically feel the jewelry on her wrist even now.
“You’re mine, Brown Eyes. There’s no bracelet, never again,”Costin told her as she felt his fingertips on her cheek. He grounded her.
Sally met Alice’s gaze. “The bracelet was enchanted. It made me … vulnerable to his wiles.”
Sally squeezed her eyes shut briefly against the painful memories. The shitty thing about memories is that some of them don’t fade. Perhaps the feelings toward them do, but some memories remain as vivid as when they happened. She swallowed several times, trying to keep her composure.
“Imagine a magical date rape drug,” Peri said quickly, her words terse. “The bracelet made it impossible for Sally to say no.”
Sally’s eyes filled with tears. She still cried about this, even after all this time. But it was usually in the privacy of her own shower while scalding water flowed over her. Thankfully, things had gotten better since she’d found out she was pregnant. Her resolve to let go of that past had become much firmer.
“Costin had it worse,” Sally explained. “He remembered me. He knew I was his true mate, and I was missing.”
“I thought we were going to have to put him down.” Sadness filled Peri’s voice. Sally knew the fae was serious. “I thought for sure he was gone. It’s one thing to know how the males feel about their females, but to see it lived out, to see one lose the other half of his soul…” Peri shook her head. “I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”
Alice’s eyes filled with tears. “He went feral,” she whispered. “I’ve read about what happens when males cannot be with their true mates. It’s awful.”
Sally nodded. “It really is.”
