His heart felt heavy in his chest as he considered what she’d dealt with for so long. “It must be a huge burden. Knowing something bad is going to happen to someone you know, but being unable to tell them.”
She swallowed hard, and he could practically see the weight of it on her shoulders as they rolled forward. Dillon wanted to take that burden from her. He wanted her to know that she wasn’t alone, that she wasn’t the only one with peculiar abilities. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “If I could bear it for you, I would.”
She tilted her head and gave him a curious look. “There’s another reason I’m telling you this. I get the feeling about you, but it’s a little different. It’s good and bad. I don’t understand it. I just know you’re not quite what you seem to be.”
Dillon’s gut twisted as his heart beat painfully in his chest. It was a conversation he needed to have with her nearly a year ago before their emotions grew so strongly for each other. But up until now he didn't know how to tell her and expect her to believe him. With this new information she’d just shared, perhaps there was a chance she wouldn’t tell him he needed to be on some meds. But, then there was all the baggage that went along with his race. He didn’t want to lose Lilly, but he owed her the truth. “Your feelings aren’t wrong.” His lips turned up in a sad smile.
“Care to elaborate?” Her words were soft, but she lifted her chin as if to brace herself for what he would tell her.
“I’ve been thinking about this for some time.” Like since the day I asked you on that first date. His wolf snarled inside of him, as it often did since he’d begun dating Lilly. What Dillon was doing was not unheard of in the Canis lupus world, but it was definitely taboo. Because all Canis lupus had a true mate—the one who held the other half of his soul—and being in a relationship with anyone else was doomed to failure. A wolf’s true mate was the only one who could keep the darkness inside of him at bay. “I wasn’t entirely sure how much, if anything, I would tell you about my … own ability.” He looked down at the grass and picked up a blade, wrapping it around his finger and then unwrapping it. He repeated the motion over and over until the blade tore in half.
“I’m all ears.”
He looked up and met her eyes. “I won’t lie to you. I will never lie to you.” He filled his voice with the authority of his wolf because he wanted her to hear the conviction in it. “This will sound crazy, Lilly.” She started to say something, but he held up his hand. “No, this is going to make what you told me sound sane.” Dillon took a shaky breath as sweat broke out on his neck and back. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want things to change between them, but it wasn’t fair to her. “Since your own ability is obviously supernatural, even though you may not realize it, I feel safe telling you about myself now that you’ve confided in me. What I’m about to say will seem impossible, entirely fictional.” He wanted to tell her to take every idea she’d learned from the paranormal books she loved so much and throw them out the window.
Dillon ran his hand through his hair. His wolf was growing more agitated. His beast wanted the female to know so that she would understand they could not be what she needed. She was not the other half of his soul, and there would be a gaping hole inside of him that Lilly could never fill, even though he loved her. Dillon inwardly snarled at his wolf. The man didn’t need to be reminded. His jaw clenched, and suddenly Lilly’s warm hands cupped his face, drawing his attention back to her and away from the thoughts of his wolf’s disapproval.
“You can trust me, Dillon. I will believe you.”
He nodded at her. He knew she would. Lilly was trusting to a fault sometimes. It made him want to protect her from those who would take advantage of her. Bile rose in his throat as he considered that he could be considered one of those. She had no clue, and yet he’d fallen in love with her and allowed her to fall in love with him. He was the lowest of the low. “I’m what’s called a Canis lupus, otherwise known as a werewolf.” His words came out in a rush. “I told you it would sound crazy, but I swear to you it’s the truth. There’s a whole supernatural world that lives in the shadows of the human world. And I’m one of them.” His hand gripped hers tightly, as he silently implored her to trust him.
To his surprise, she didn’t burst out laughing. Instead, Lilly sat quietly, appearing to process the information he’d just given her. Dillon wanted to know what was going on in her head. If she’d been his true mate, he would have been able to hear her thoughts. He would feel her emotions. The thought hammered home the reality that she wasn’t his—not really.
“So you can actually change into a wolf?” she asked after several agonizing minutes.
He nodded. “Yes, but we call it phasing.”
Her eyes held his. “Will you show me?”
Lilly’s reaction wasn’t what Dillon expected. But he’d gotten used to Lilly surprising him in unexpectedly pleasant ways. She was different. That was one of the many things that drew him to her. His wolf pushed forward, though he wasn’t sure if it was in challenge to her possible disbelief or because he wanted to show off. “On one condition.” He knew his eyes were glowing because his beast was close to the surface, scratching just under his skin to get out.
“I can’t tell anyone, right? That’s the condition?”
Dillon smirked and shook his head slowly. “You have to promise to pet me.”
The drive to Lilly’s apartment was a quiet one, filled with anticipation. The air was thick with not only his own eagerness but it seemed to be rolling off of her in waves as well. Her breathing increased and she kept rubbing her palms up and down her legs. Dillon’s skin rippled with the need to phase. Now that he’d told her it felt as if a giant weight had been lifted off his shoulders. You haven’t told her that she’s not ours, his wolf reminded him. And just like that the weight was back, only this time it was a hundred pounds more, threatening to crush the breath right out of him.
“Are you okay?”
Dillon kept his eyes on the road and nodded. “Nervous,” he answered honestly. “There’s more I need to tell you.”
“I figured.” She shifted in her seat. “ ‘I’m a werewolf’ can’t possibly be the end of the conversation.”
He parked her car in front of her apartment and climbed out. As he walked around to open her door he wrestled with the conflicting emotions that boiled inside of him. It was as if a hurricane had taken up residency and was wreaking havoc on his insides. He opened her door, and she took his offered hand. As they walked to Lilly’s door, Dillon held onto her like a lifeline. Everything was about to change. It possibly meant that she would tell him they couldn’t see each other anymore. The thought of that was nauseating, but staying with her when he might have to leave her one day was just as sickening. She deserved better.
Once they were inside, Dillon took a deep breath, soaking in her familiar scent. His was mixed with it, and the possessive part of him liked that. His beast did not approve.
“Okay.” She sat down on the couch and dropped her purse beside her. “Let’s see it.”
“I sort of feel like I’m about to give you a strip tease,” he joked, trying to relieve his anxiety. “Maybe you should wave some cash around for me.”
“Is your wolf form going to be wearing a G-string?” Her nose scrunched up. “Because I don’t think I can pet a wolf wearing a G-string.”
Dillon laughed, loud and long because his wolf was thoroughly offended. He took a deep breath as the humor died down. “I have to strip or I’ll ruin my clothes,” he warned her.
She grinned, a wicked gleam in her beautiful eyes. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”
It was just another thing to add to his list of transgression in regard to his wild Lilly. They weren’t married or mated, and yet he’d taken her and given himself to her. He shoved the guilt into the box he kept it in and focused on the here and now. Tomorrow wasn’t promised, and today he was with her, the woman he’d fallen in love with. Dillon began to undress and ignored his nose which picked up the scent of her desire. When he was completely naked, he phased and stood in her living room taking up a considerable amount of space. He gave himself a good shake and then looked at Lilly. His wolf was so large that he was eye to eye with her where she sat on the couch.
