“I’d rather you be laughing while not dying.” Tanya’s heart ached at the thought of losing such a shining light from the world. Lisa was one of those people who did things for others because it was simply the right thing to do. As she stared back at her friend, a thought occurred to her. “What happens after this life for you?” Tanya knew that her own life would end one day, and she would go to be with her Creator, the Great Luna. However, humans weren’t created by the Great Luna. Tanya wondered what would happen to Lisa in the afterlife.
Lisa’s face softened as she seemed to understand what Tanya was thinking. “I will spend eternity with my Creator. He has prepared a wonderful place for His children, or so I have read in my Bible.”
Tanya sniffled. “Is that why you’re not afraid or sad?”
“I am both of those things, child. But I have come to terms with His will. I have accomplished what He wanted me to accomplish, and now He calls me home. What a wonderful feeling it is to have the hope that you will stand before your Creator and hear ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant.’”
Tanya choked back her emotions. “I can’t begrudge you that. I won’t. But, damn it, I’m going to miss you, and to know that this is goodbye forever…” Tanya shook her head as she tried to regain her composure. “I would have treasured you more. I would—”
“Shh. You gave me so much in my life, Tanya. Laughter, tears, joy. Remember those times. You will have me until you go home to your Creator, and once you’re with Her, you won’t need those memories anymore. Promise me.”
“I’ve already promised you,” Tanya growled.
“Promise me,” Lisa persisted, “that you will live as if any second could be your last breath.”
Tears ran down Tanya’s cheeks, falling onto their clasped hands. She nodded, unable to speak for fear that she would lose control of her emotions.
Lisa held Tanya’s gaze as a single tear streamed down her wrinkled face. She gasped several times and seemed to fight for her next breath. Tyler laid his large hand on Lisa’s forehead, drawing her eyes to him. His face held such adoration that it was palpable. This alpha loved her as if she were one of his own.
“You can let go, little human,” he said affectionately. “Tanya will be fine. Go to your eternal rest, my old friend.”
As if she had been waiting for permission from her alpha, Lisa closed her eyes, her face relaxing as her lips softened. She took her final rattling breath, and then there was nothing. Just silence.
Tanya’s eyes crinkled slowly, and her chin trembled as she pressed her lips together. She leaned down until her forehead rested on Lisa’s shoulder. Her body quaked as she lost the battle to keep from sobbing. The walls of her restraint broke, unleashing a torrential storm of emotion from deep within her.
“I’m so sorry, mate.” Dillon’s voice filled her mind with such tenderness that she only cried harder. To his credit, he said nothing more, but he kept his presence in her mind, offering comfort and letting her silently know he was there if she needed him.
She did need him, but that wasn’t something she could deal with right now. Breathing in Lisa’s familiar scent, she pulled back and lifted Lisa’s hand, pressing her lips to it. “Thank you,” she whispered and then gently laid it down, resting it on Lisa’s unmoving stomach. Tanya pushed up from the bed and looked over at Tyler. “I’d like to help with her send off.”
Tyler’s eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “Wouldn’t expect less.”
Dillon’s heart pounded in his chest as Tanya’s words beat against the inside of his mind. She wasn’t just hurting. She was in utter agony. He tried to take some of her pain through the bond, but her despair threatened to suffocate him. He knew where she was now, but she begged him not to come. How was he supposed to stay away when she needed him? She had just lost someone she loved fiercely, and she needed him, but she wasn’t ready for him.
Every instinct inside him screamed at him to go to her, care for her, and shelter her through this tragedy. The only reason he wasn’t already in his truck was because a rational part of his brain held him in place. If he respected her wishes and showed her he cared enough to do as she asked, maybe it would help prove to her that he was more than just his past. He wanted a chance with Tanya, and he knew he was walking a tightrope. That she had opened up to him, even a little, was huge.
He closed his eyes and felt the bond between them. It wasn’t completely open, but she’d left it so he could at least feel her presence, and he took advantage. Dillon stayed close, resting like a shadow in her mind. He’d know if she changed her mind, and he’d be on his way to her in a heartbeat. Dillon’s wolf rumbled inside him as he reveled in the connection she allowed. Both man and beast were humbled. “We have to do as she asked,” Dillon told his wolf. “If we want a snowball’s chance in hell, we are going to have to be what she needs, no matter what that means for us.”
His wolf agreed, even though he was chomping at the bit to run to Missouri. “We will prove we are worthy of her,” his beast said, letting the man take the lead in their mating.
“Hopefully, I won’t screw it up,” Dillon muttered as he ran a hand down his face. He was pulled from his thoughts by a soft knock on his door. He hadn’t slept much the previous night. After the woman, Penelope, had brought him a burger, Dillon spent the remainder of the evening pacing the room. His mind was a torrent of thoughts. Mostly, he wondered about his new mate, what she liked and didn’t like, how she smelled in the morning, what kind of things made her laugh.
Occasionally, those thoughts reminded him of Lilly. He already knew all those things about her, and that made him miss her. Then his wolf would come screaming to the forefront, growling and scolding him. The beast reminded him what kind of pain these thoughts would cause his mate. Then a fresh wave of guilt washed over Dillon. He cursed himself and tried to think of ways to make amends to Tanya. This led him to try and push the bond further open, and each time he was met with resistance. Tanya held fast to the sliver she left open between them. There was only one time that he pushed it open a tad farther, and he was shocked when he felt pain rippling through the bond. Now he knew why she had been feeling that pain.
Dillon's musings about his mate and Lilly were occasionally interrupted by thoughts of the Colorado pack. It had been thirteen years since Dillon had lived among a pack. The feeling was alien to him, and he wasn't quite sure he was comfortable. He hated the thought of himself as a lone wolf. When he'd decided to leave Montana, he never imagined himself as becoming a rogue. Though he hadn't interacted with the other pack members before retiring to his room, Dillon continually heard them moving about the mansion. And the vast number of smells in the building threatened to disorient him. That was something he'd have to get used to again.
But it wasn't just the proximity of so many other wolves. There was something amiss with this pack. He saw it on the faces of the pack members as he’d walked through the large home the night before. They lived in… Dillon wouldn't exactly call it fear per se. Perhaps unease was the better word, as if they were walking on eggshells, like children afraid to upset an angry alcoholic father. And Dillon thought he had an idea of what kept them on edge—Jeremiah. Dillon remembered hearing about the alpha being a hard man back when he was still a member of the Montana pack, but he'd apparently grown more tyrannical over the years, and his iron-fisted rule was reflected in the downcast eyes of his pack members. And his encounter with the alpha the day before had just proven it to him.
Dillon groggily rubbed his eyes, trying to clear the sleep. With a grunt, he made his way to the door and opened it. It was the woman from the previous evening, Penelope. Apparently, she was Jeremiah's favorite errand girl. She held a tray with breakfast. She greeted him with a tentative smile and offered it to Dillon.
"Thank you." Dillon took the tray and set it aside. "I didn't know that room service was a typical thing in this pack. I figured last night was a one-time occurrence since I arrived so late."
"It’s not. At least, I don’t think it is. We don't have many visitors.” She pursed her lips and her brow furrowed. “Honestly, I was a bit surprised when he asked me to bring your supper. Jeremiah isn't known for his generosity."
"Supper and now breakfast,” Dillon smiled and tried to keep the skepticism from his voice. “Maybe your alpha is changing his ways."
Penelope snorted. "I wouldn't count on that.” She snapped her mouth closed and glanced back and forth down the hall, like she’d done the night before. She seemed to relax when she noticed there was no one around, her eyes settled back on him. “No, the breakfast wasn't his idea. I just thought you might like something to eat in peace without the pack staring at you or bombarding you with questions."
Dillon's eyebrows rose. "You brought this on your own? Jeremiah didn't order it?"
