“You tell me,” Rachel said in that gentle voice that seemed to always put everyone at ease. She was a lot like Alina in that way. “Titus came back with Gavril going on about hearing you and Decebel growling at each other. He seemed worried.”
“Thomas worries about everything,” Jen quipped.
Rachel shook her head slowly. “Don’t do that, Jen. Don’t marginalize a disagreement between you and your mate.”
Jen blew out a breath and fidgeted with the bottom of her shirt. “I don’t mean—”
“It’s a defense mechanism,” Rachel interrupted, though her voice was not unkind. “We all do it. It’s painful to fight with someone we love. We don’twantto hurt them, but neither do we want to be hurt, so we get our own sharp words in to protect ourselves.” Rachel reached out and placed a hand over Jen’s. “It’s going to be okay, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.”
Jen looked down and shook her head. The tears she so desperately tried to hold in dropped to the floor. “How can it be okay when we argue about the same things over and over again? It’s like two countries that just continue to bomb one another, destroying each other’s homes because they can’t get past a couple of differences of opinions. They fight and fight until they’ve destroyed what was once their beautiful homeland.” She sucked in a breath. “There’s nothing okay about that.”
“You and Decebel aren’t anything like that,” Rachel said. “You love one another. You’re passionate about one another, and passion can sometimes cause discord between mates. Gavril and I don’t always agree. We’ve been mated for a very long time, and still we have things that we have never seen eye to eye on and probably never will. It’s what makes us individuals.” She squeezed Jen’s hands and then released them. “We just need to remember we aren’t enemies. We can’t let the things we disagree on divide us to the point that bitterness takes root and chokes out the good things between us. And we have to compromise on the things we disagree on.”
Jen closed her eyes as more tears fell. “I suck at compromise.”
“Most of us do.” Jen heard the smile in the healer’s voice.
After taking a deep breath and swallowing her pride, she looked up at Rachel. “Did Gavril ever ask you to stay? I mean—” She waved her hand as if that would somehow make her question more clear.Jeez, I’m a mess.“When there were battles or whatever. Did he expect you to just let him go without you?”
Rachel leaned against the wall and nodded. “It’s a common argument in almost every mated pair’s relationship. The males have a need to protect their females. It’s obsessive to the point that they sometimes forget their words can hurt just as much or more than a physical blow.”
“Decebel wasn’t cruel. I was the one dealing out tongue lashings.” Jen tipped her head side to side, her ears nearly touching each shoulder with the movement. “I mean, he said some things that hurt my feelings, but he didn’t completely mean them. I blew them out of proportion, as I am prone to do.”
The healer smiled. “I know you think you’re the only female on the planet who does that, but you’re wrong. We all wear our feelings on our sleeves, and when they’re hurt, we immediately throw up a shield that doesn’t just block any other possible hurtful words but also responds in kind.”
“I don’t know how to fix this, Rachel. I can’t lie and say I’m fine with staying here while he puts himself in danger. And I can’t stand the thought of not being there to fight with him. These freaking males go on and on about us being at their side wherewe belong, and then, when it’s inconvenient, they tell us we don’t belong there.” Jen’s shoulders dropped as she tried to regain control of the temper she felt rising again. “Why can’t I just give in? Submit?” She bit out the word. “He’s tired of me.” Jen’s voice quivered as she spoke the words that threatened to rip her heart from her chest.
“No,” Rachel said firmly. “He isn’t.”
Jen nodded quickly. “I felt it. The bond doesn’t lie, not when emotions arethatstrong.”
“Are you sure you didn’t misconstrue those feelings? Maybe he’s tired of the strife between you two. But not tired ofyou.”
Jen chuckled, a self-depreciating sound. “I’mtired of me. How could he notbe as well?” After a moment of silence, Jen shoved her emotions in a box and then smiled. “I need to get Thia.”
Rachel stared at her for a second without moving. Jen wondered if the healer could see into her mind. Did the woman know that Jen was unraveling at the seams with no clue how to hold herself together?
“All right.” Rachel stepped aside, opening the door.
Jen moved past the healer, grateful to escape Rachel’s gaze. As soon as Thia saw her mother, the girl’s face lit up, and she ran to Jen. “Hell, momma.” Thia laughed and raised her arms to Jen.
Jen sighed. “Are you ever going to say anything else?”
“She says other stuff all the time,” Titus said from where he sat with Slate. “But hell is almost always included in the sentence. Hell food, hell blocks, hell hello. That one is quite amusing to her.”
Jen rolled her eyes. “I get it, Treyvon. She’s a hellion with a hell obsession.”
Thia patted Jen’s cheeks. “Hell bye bye.” She pointed toward the door. “See hell daddy.”
Jen snorted and then said under her breath, so the girl couldn’t hear, “Yep, I’m pretty sure your daddy feels like he’s in hell at the moment.” She turned to Rachel and Gavril. “Thanks, you two.” She looked down at Titus, patiently restacking the blocks that Slate had knocked over. “And you, too, Tracker.”
“That’s not a real name, Aunt Jen.” He didn’t take his eyes off the blocks.
“Says who?” she challenged. “Famous people name their kids weird crap all the time that doesn’t sound like a real name.”
“But you’re not a famous person.”
“Hate to break it to you, kid, but I’m a legend in my hometown. That means I get to name you ridiculous things. Hell bye,” she called over her shoulder before shutting the door on whatever Sally and Costin’s overly intelligent son was about to say. Thia laid her head on Jen’s shoulder and put her thumb in her mouth. “Do you really have to suck your thumb?” As usual, Thia ignored the question. Jen shrugged. “I suppose it will make your immune system strong, sucking in all those disgusting germs and whatnot.”
