“You don’t have to say it.” Nick sat up and put his arms around her, enveloping her in his warmth.
“I remembered Lizzy told me he kept a bat by the door. They had all sorts of unsavory characters that came and went, and sometimes Jerry had to chase off the ones in search of drugs or money he owed them.” Kara saw herself pick up the bat in her mind’s eye. She remembered turning back to the man who was lying on top of her friend. “I don’t know how I had the strength to do what I did.” Kara sucked in a shuddering breath. “I stepped over to him. He was clothed, but his pants were loose, and I could see a part of his pale, fat lower back and the top of his butt.” Kara held up a hand and made a retching sound in her throat. She pressed her palms hard to her eyes.
“We can stop, baby,” said Nick. “You don’t have to relive this.”
“No.” Kara’s voice was hoarse. She shook her head. “I need to get this out.” A few moments went by, and she took another breath before swallowing hard. “Okay, I’m good. He still hadn’t noticed me. He was too busy—” Kara stopped and clenched her fists until her knuckles turned white, just as she had clenched the bat so tightly three years ago. She shook her head and continued. “Lizzy wasn’t moving. She wasn’t making a noise. She was just so … still. As I stood there, every ounce of rage that lived inside of me—not just for what Lizzy endured but from my own experiences as well— exploded out of me. I screamed and brought down the bat as hard as I could. I was aiming for the back of his head, but I missed and ended up hitting the back of his neck and part of his shoulder. To this day, I don’t know how I missed his head.”
“Adrenaline,” said Nick. “I’ve experienced it in battle many times. It’s crazy how the simplest things become difficult.”
Kara nodded. “Well, I didn’t miss the second time. Jerry made a sound that was inhuman, like a sow being poked with a branding iron. He rolled over just as I was bringing the bat down again. It hit him, right here.” Kara pointed to a spot over her left eye. “There was a crunch. I almost dropped the bat when I heard that. But now that he’d rolled over, I could see Lizzy laying there. She looked like a statue. If I didn’t know better, I might’ve thought she was just sleeping. But I did know better. Instinctively, I knew she was gone. No! No! No! With every word I brought the bat down again and again on this bastard.
“I didn’t stop until he was a bloody mess. His face was unrecognizable. It looked like a pumpkin painted red and dropped onto the sidewalk. I don’t know how long I stood there, just staring down at him. But eventually I heard hysterical screaming. I turned around and saw Justine, his sicko wife, standing in the doorway. Her eyes were bulging, and she was yelling at me. ‘You killed him! You killed him!’” Kara closed her eyes, trying to remember every detail. Now that she’d finally told her story, she didn’t want to leave anything out. “Justine grabbed my arm, but I jerked away. I turned on her and swung the bat at her head. I honestly don’t remember hitting her, but I must have because she dropped like a bag of bricks and went still. I let the bat fall to the ground, went to Lizzy, and knelt by her side. I felt for a pulse already knowing there wouldn’t be one. I tried to do CPR, though I didn’t have a clue what I was doing.” Kara rubbed a hand down her face and let out another shuddering breath. “I just tried to do what I’d seen done on some freaking television show.” Her voice faded off as the memories continued to play out.
“That’s enough, sweetheart,” Nick told her. “Let the rest lie for tonight.”
She shook her head. “I need to get the rest out.”
He pulled her closer and pressed his lips to her neck, right on his bite mark.
“Someone must have heard something, probably Justine screaming. I don’t know how long I did CPR, but the next thing I remember was a cop pulling me off Lizzy. I was dripping sweat and so exhausted I could barely stay upright. Even so, I tried to fight them. They grabbed me and dragged me outside. Before I knew it, I was handcuffed, lying face down in the gravel. I don’t know what happened to Lizzy’s body. They never told me about a funeral. No one I asked—the police, social workers, foster parents—would tell me anything.”
Tears tracked down Kara’s face. Nick’s hand moved slowly back and forth across her back. “Did you have to go to jail?”
“Not for long. I wasn’t charged with anything. Apparently the self-defense laws apply to protecting others. One of the social workers told me that no prosecutor in the world would be dumb enough to bring charges in that situation. I remember she said, ‘You really think they want pictures of that poor little girl dead on that carpet blown up and plastered all over the projector screen in the middle of the courtroom? And then you’d get a chance to go to the stand and describe what you did and what you saw. It’d be career suicide. Hell, the jury would probably jump up and applaud you before it was all over.’
“I said I didn’t want applause. I just wanted my friend back. ‘I know you do,’ she had said. She patted me on the leg. ‘But I’m glad that son of a bitch is dead all the same.’
“After that, they sent me to a new foster home in a new town. I didn’t make any more friends. Just acquaintances. I was a coward, but I didn’t want to feel responsible for someone again. I haven’t thought of Lizzy until now. I buried the memories as far down as I could.”
“That’s an unbelievably traumatic event, Kara.” Nick’s voice was rough with the anger she could feel through their bond. “Your mind went into survival mode. Now you’ve been through something else incredibly similar to what Lizzy went through. Maybe that’s what has triggered the memories.”
Kara felt her wrath at Ludcarab fill her anew. She wished she could bring him back from the dead just to chop him to pieces all over again. “I wanted to go to her funeral. I needed to say goodbye.”
Nick pressed his forehead to her shoulder. “I would give you that if I could. I would do anything you needed in order to help heal the parts of you that are wounded.” He let out a sigh that sounded full of frustration. “Dammit, Kara, why couldn’t I have found you sooner? Not in some weird sick way,” he added quickly, not that she’d thought he was being a weirdo. “My wolf would have felt protective of you. It wouldn’t have been the feelings I have for you now. The mate bond doesn’t make itself known, but I wouldn’t have been able to leave you. I’d have considered you part of my pack even if I didn’t understand why. At least not until you’d come of age.”
Kara turned her head and pressed her lips to his cheek. She cupped his face in her hands and watched as he closed his eyes and nuzzled into her touch. His chest rumbled as it often did when he felt powerful emotions. Then she leaned forward and kissed him. Nick’s hands tightened around her. She felt one of his hands fist the material of his shirt that she wore. The passion he often kept tamped down flowed through the bond, but still Kara could tell he was trying to control it. He was always careful with her, so afraid he would do something that scared her. Kara didn’t want him to be careful. She wanted him to show her just how much he needed her.
“Not yet,”he said through their bond.“You’re not ready for that.”
“You don’t get to tell me what I’m ready for, mate.”She bit his lip to punctuate her irritation with him.
One of his hands slipped under her shirt and ran across her skin until it rested over her stomach. Nick had told Kara how much he loved to touch her over the place where their child grew. He loved to kiss her there and talk to their daughter. They’d only been back for a week, but he’d spent most of week with his head resting on her abdomen. He only left her to get food, and during those brief moments, he talked to her through the bond the entire time. Kara appreciated it because as much as it annoyed her to be clingy, she hated being away from him for even ten minutes.
She shivered as he deepened the kiss and ran his other hand across the markings on her back. That was the other place he liked to touch. When he wasn’t touching her stomach, he was tracing what he always referred to as “his” markings. Kara loved the possessiveness she felt from him. She reveled in feeling so wanted.
She pushed at his shoulders, turning her body until she rested on her knees. Then she pushed him harder until he finally relented and laid down on his back. Kara followed him, and he had to move his hand from her stomach. He kept it under her shirt and ran it around her ribs until it was on her back. She let her hands run along his warm flesh, over his shoulders, down his arms, and back up again. He remained shirtless while in bed with her, but she always made sure he put one on before he left their room. Apparently Kara was a little possessive herself. She didn’t like the idea of any other females in the pack seeing his impressive chest and abs.
“I love that you’re possessive.”He pulled her until she laid on top of him. She gasped as she pressed against him. It was a new position, one she liked immensely.
Kara’s hands rested on the top of his chest, and her nails dug into his flesh as her passion grew. She knew she must be hurting him, but she couldn’t stop. His lips left hers, and he trailed kisses across her jaw and then down her neck.
“I like it when you sink your nails into me. I enjoy knowing you need me as badly as I need you.”He growled, and then she felt his teeth sink into her flesh where his mark was. The pinch of pain lasted an instant before the pleasure flowed through her. The blood in her veins heated, and Kara felt as though she might combust.
He began to pull away, but she pressed her hand to the back of his head. “Don’t stop.” She breathed out, her voice desperate, needing the connection between them.
“Sweetheart,”he whispered, and she felt his touch all over.
“Nick?” she moaned.
