Kara rolled out of the bed and dashed to the bathroom, a hand held over her mouth. The images from her dream filled her mind, and she could still smell the metallic scent of blood and feel the rough, dirty carpet beneath her knees. She barely made it to the toilet before the contents of her stomach made itself known. She felt Nick’s presence through their bond before she felt him gather her hair away from her face.
“This isn’t just morning sickness.” Nick’s deep voice filled the space. She didn’t have time to respond before she vomited again.
“Ugh.” Kara groaned and took the towel he held out to her. She wiped her mouth and leaned on the edge of the commode, then pressed her forehead to her arm, forcing her breathing to slow. She was still nauseous, but for the moment, nothing threatened to come up. Nick was right. Her nausea wasn’t coming from morning sickness. It was from memories.
Nick took the towel from her and tossed it in the dirty clothes basket. Gently, he took her shoulders and eased her back into a sitting position. He filled a glass with water and held it to her lips, tilting it slowly so she could take a small sip. When he seemed satisfied she was going to keep the water down, Nick carefully helped her up and walked her back to their bed before tucking her in. Then he climbed in beside her and propped himself up on his elbow so that he was leaning over her. He ran a finger down her cheek as she stared up at him. Kara felt the questions in his mind and sensed his worry and need to help her. But she didn’t know how he could.
For a few minutes, Nick did nothing but softly touch her face and stare at her. Finally, he asked, “Who is Lizzy?” She knew he could have simply peered in her mind and taken the information, but it was obvious he understood this was a memory that shouldn’t be taken lightly. She appreciated his patience as he waited for her to answer.
Kara sighed, reached up, and ran her hand over his shaved head. She loved the way the stubble felt against her palm. Often, Nick would close his eyes and lean into her touch as if he craved it.
“I do crave it,” he said, picking up on her thought. “I also crave for you to share parts of your life with me, sweetheart. Who is Lizzy, and why do thoughts of her make you sick?
Several moments ticked by in silence. Finally, Kara spoke. “She was someone I’d forced myself to forget. And I don’t know why I’m thinking of her now.” Maybe that wasn’t completely true. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that her long-buried memories of the girl she’d once killed for had been reawakened by recent events. She and Lizzy had always shared a bond, but now Kara could relate even more than she ever had before.
“When did you know her?” He shifted closer so that his chest pressed against the side of her shoulder. “In your memories, she doesn’t look much younger than you are now.”
She nodded at him. “That’s because she wasn’t. The dream you picked up on in my thoughts is actually a memory. It happened about a year before Peri found me.”
Nick’s brow drew low. “So about three years ago then?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you want to tell me about her?”
Kara started to say no but bit back the instinctual response. Opening up to people wasn’t her strong suit, and it wasn’t something she’d ever made it a habit of doing. She knew that was a remnant of being raised in the system. Trust was more valuable than gold when you were a kid in the foster system. It was something she was still learning to give to those she loved. Even though Nick had proven himself over and over again, she was still guilty of waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He waited patiently, his finger running over her forehead, down her cheek, and across her chin, over and over. His touch eased her frayed nerves and helped her relax enough to finally speak.
“Lizzy was a girl I met in foster care. One of the very, very few friends I had,” Kara explained. “Not just a friend, but someone I trusted with my life. And she trusted me with hers.” Kara shifted her legs restlessly under the blankets. She wanted to stand and move. She couldn’t help but feel vulnerable laying there while Nick looked at her expectantly. Vulnerability was a feeling Kara had felt all too often in her life, and she didn’t like it one bit. Exposed things got hurt or worse. She had to protect herself at all costs, and that meant no vulnerability.
“I protect you now.” Nick’s voice was firm. He gripped her chin and turned her face to him. “I failed before. I won’t ever again.”
She started to tell him he wasn’t to blame, but he shook his head at her, and so she swallowed the words. “Lizzy and I went to school together,” she continued. “But we never lived in the same foster home. I think we both saw a reflection of ourselves in each other.” Kara thought back to the first time they’d ever spoken, and her lips turned up. “One day I noticed she didn’t eat in the cafeteria with the other students, just like me.” Kara smiled wryly. “I also noticed that some days she didn’t have lunch. So, one day I offered her some of mine. She didn’t appreciate that too much.” Kara laughed.
Nick frowned. “Why not?”
“She said she wasn’t a charity case. You see, Lizzy was a proud heifer. So, I told her she could accept the food and not starve or go hungry like a fool.”
“Wow.” Nick chuckled. “Sounds like you made a good first impression.”
Kara grinned. “I must have because from that time on, whenever we could, we hung out. She was an outlet I didn’t realize I needed, and we grew very close. She was younger and smaller, so I acted like a de facto older sister. I was her protector … except on the day she needed me most. That day I wasn’t there.” Kara’s palms began to sweat. Bile threatened to send her running to the bathroom again, but she swallowed it down.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“Says the male who thinks it was his fault I was abducted,” she said wryly.
His finger paused on her face where he’d continued to gently trace her skin. “It’s different. I’m your mate. It’s my privilege and duty to make sure you are always taken care of and kept safe.”
“We can agree to disagree.” Kara shrugged and then she continued, “On this particular day, I was off from work, but they asked me to come in because some other employees had called in sick. Lizzy and I were supposed to hang out at the park until the two people—a husband and wife—she lived with went to work. They both worked night shifts.” Kara fisted the sheets and shook her head. “I knew what kinds of things happened if she spent any time alone with the man, Jerry.” Kara bit out his name and wished that she could beat him all over again. “He liked underaged girls. He was a sick bastard. It had taken Lizzy quite a while before she told me what he’d done to her. From then on, I tried to make sure that she didn’t have to go home before they were gone.”
“What about his wife?” Nick asked, his brow drawn down low and his jaw clenched tightly. “Didn’t she care?”
Kara laughed, but the sound was humorless. “She was just as sick as her husband. She’d watch what he did. They were the lowest kind of filth.
“Even though I wasn’t there, Lizzy waited by herself to go home. Apparently she hadn’t waited long enough. I’m not sure why, but Jerry must’ve gotten sick of her avoiding him. Maybe he’d called in to work or gotten fired, who knows, but this time when Lizzy got home, he was still there. So Lizzy called me at work for help. Her voice—” Kara sucked in a sharp breath as she remembered the sound. “She sounded terrified. I told my boss I had to leave. I didn’t even give a reason, just grabbed my stuff and ran out. I didn’t have a car, so I was on foot. I don’t think I’ve ever run so fast in my life.” Suddenly feeling too hot, Kara pushed the covers away and sat up. She pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. Then she began to rock, a self-soothing gesture she hadn’t done in a very long time. “When I got there, I was terrified of what I would walk in on, but I didn’t stop when I reached the front door. I dropped my bag on the porch and hit the door at a run. It flew open and banged against the wall, but no one noticed. The door was never locked. The idiots were too drunk to think about locking it.
“I rushed into the living room, and he, he—” Kara stuttered, and her breathing sped up. The images ran through her mind like a movie. She could almost smell the stench of the house. “He was on top of her. He was—dammit!” Tears ran down Kara’s cheeks, and she hastily wiped them away.
