Lilly stood rigid outside the doors to the great hall, her shoulders pulled back, gaze fixed upon the wood as if she could see through it. The queen had already been standing there motionless for way too long, but she couldn’t seem to bring herself to lift her hand to open the door. She could hear the muted conversations of her guests within. Two guards stood on either side of the doors. They were equally motionless, staring ahead. She’d waved off their attempt to open the doors for her.
For whatever reason, Lilly needed to be the one to open the doors and break the seal of the room, like breaking a dam that held her entire future behind it. She must be the one to choose to step into that room, to face those who would either support her or try to bury her.You can do this.You have to do this. You will do this.Before she had time to second-guess herself, Lilly grasped the handle and pulled. The low murmur of voices stopped, and all eyes turned to her. Her stomach dropped. The air rushed out of her, and she bit her lip to keep the gasp from escaping. The force of their gazes froze her in her tracks. Her eyes darted around the room. Lilly saw everything from curiosity to contempt in the faces of the strangers seated at the U-shaped table.
A second glance brought her eyes to a figure standing motionless in the back of the room. It was him. Her mate. He stood regal and proud, his yellow, piercing eyes looking straight at her. She drank him in—his broad shoulders, his powerful arms, arms that had held her close less than a month ago. Her mind was flooded with a tidal wave of memories. She knew he must only be a figment of her imagination, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to spring across the room and prove herself wrong.
He was every bit as stunning as he had been the first time she’d seen him. But he wasn’t really there. After the meeting, when she returned to their chambers, he wouldn’t be joining her. He wouldn’t help her undress and then pull her into bed whispering sweet words into her ear. She wouldn’t feel his lips or smell his masculine scent. As much as seeing this mirage was a welcome breath of air, it was also a form of torture. What she wanted—what she needed—was just out of her reach. Life was a bitch, and then it kicked you in the junk. Those were words she’d heard Jacque say when Trent had broken up with her. She’d never agreed more with her daughter.
“You can do this.”His voice filled her mind, repeating what she’d already told herself.“I know you can. Now, prove it to them.”
“But what if I can’t?”she thought, as if he could actually hear her.
“I know you better than that, beloved. You’re a fighter. You don’t give up, and you don’t lay down and die.”
“My queen?”
Lilly turned her head at the sound of Gerick’s voice and saw him gesturing to her. She looked back quickly, hoping against hope. But it was too late. The spot where Cypher had been standing was empty. She let out a long breath.
“Your seat,” Gerick said.
She looked to where he pointed. At the head of the U-shaped table sat a single smaller table with a large, ornate chair.My throne.She didn’t know if she wanted to sit in it or push it out the window and throw herself out after it. “Thank you,” she said, relieved her voice hadn’t trembled.
She walked up to the table but didn’t sit. Taking a deep breath, she slowly looked around the room and met the eyes of each person sitting. There were twenty people total, including Gerick and four more of her warriors. “Thank you for joining me in a meal,” Lilly said. She let her eyes pause on each man and the only other female present. “I want to offer my condolences for the loss of your king, my mate, and to some of you, possibly a friend and family member. Cypher was an honorable man, a respected king, and a fierce warrior.”
To her surprise, everyone in the room stood. They placed their arms across their chests with their hands curled in a fist resting over their hearts. “May he rest in the eternal peace he’s been granted,” they said in one voice.
They remained standing, and when Lilly glanced at Gerick he motioned with his eyes to the chair. She lifted her chin and took her seat. The others followed suit. When everyone was seated, Gerick lifted a hand to the warlocks lining the walls on either side of the room. Each manned a rolling cart, and they pushed them to the table, then placed covered dishes in front of each guest.
After everyone else had been served, the last cart was rolled over to Lilly, and her plate was set in front of her. Again, everyone stared in anticipation. “Please,” she said as she motioned with her hands out in front of her. “Eat.” They seemed confused for a moment, and Lilly wasn’t sure what queenly tradition or social convention she had missed, but she certainly wasn’t going to ask. Thankfully, Gerick uncovered his food and picked up his fork. That seemed to be all the encouragement her guests needed. Movement rippled across the table as they uncovered their food and started eating.
Lilly stared down at the beautifully roasted chicken in front of her. There was an array of vegetables and a warm pudding that she’d been introduced to when she’d come to live with Cypher. It smelled delicious, yet her mouth didn’t water. She had to make herself pick up the fork and knife and cut into the meat. As she feared, the food held no taste for her. Her senses no longer seemed to function properly. In a world without Cypher, food had no flavor, sounds held no music, her nose could sense no pleasant aromas, and her vision could discern no beauty. Now, chewing slowly, it was as if Lilly had put a fork full of dirt in her mouth. She forced herself to swallow instead of spitting the food on the floor like she wanted to.
They all ate in silence for several minutes. Then a man stood and spoke up, interrupting the clatter of silverware on plates.
“Your highness…”
Lilly’s eyes lifted. The gentlemen held his hands behind his back, and he’d angled his body to face her.
The queen set down her napkin and then pushed her chair back and rose. “Please, introduce yourself, sir,” she said, her voice polite but firm.
He bowed his head as he spoke. “I am Concord, leader of Clan Bluegarde. I am the fourth cousin of King Cypher.”
“And there it is.”Lilly could almost hear Peri’s word’s echo in her mind. She knew the high fae would tell her to pay attention.
“It is an honor to make your acquaintance,” Lilly said. “I am sorry for the loss of your cousin.” She didn’t add that she had never heard of the man, and therefore couldn’t imagine his grief was terribly intense because he must not have been that close to her former mate. Some might consider such a statement rude, though Peri certainly would have said it. But Lilly didn’t want to be rude, at least not yet. The night was still young, and she was already beginning to feel like the room was closing in on her, and all he’d done was introduce himself.Damn, I suck at this.
“Thank you. Our clan still lives in the warlock realm, so I didn’t get to see the king as often as I would have liked.”
And now I feel like an ass because he actually sounds genuine.“It seems to be that way with family. We often don’t find the time to spend with them, despite how much we might want to,” Lilly agreed.
Concord smiled, and the expression was filled with sadness. “I know this is a difficult time for you. The transfer of power will be challenging, not only because of your grief but also due to your host responsibilities.” He gestured around at the other guests. “I wanted to let you know that you have Clan Bluegarde’s support and loyalty. We were loyal to Cypher, and we will stand with you as well.”
Do not cry. Don’t you dare cry, Lilly Pierce,she practically growled inwardly at herself. “Thank you. I appreciate the support, and I will do everything in my power to continue the legacy of strength and leadership that my mate left behind.”
“Speaking of power…” Another man spoke up as he stood.
“And you are?” Lilly asked, immediately feeling the hair on the back of her neck stand on end as she looked into the yellow eyes of the male who was staring at her as a wolf would stare at a rabbit.
“I am Lysander, of Clan Lowthorne, your highness,” he answered. He made the words “your highness” sound to Lilly like the punch line of a joke.
