Cypher shook his head. “No. Lysander has always been an ambitious prick. He never stood a chance against me, and he knew it. Now that I’m gone, he sees an opportunity.” Cypher held her hand tighter as he used his other hand to tip her chin up so she was looking into his eyes. “You can do this. And you must do this on your own. Gerick is going to want to help. He mustn’t. Not all of Lysander’s clan is going to agree with him, but they will back him because he’s their leader. If you show any weakness at all, even if you win, they will never truly see you as their queen.”
Lilly started to nod, but Cypher held her chin still.
“No mercy, Lilly. I don’t care if you have to imagine him strangling Jacque or doing some other horrible act. You show him no mercy.”
Lilly took a shaky breath and nodded. “Okay.” She reached up and took his hand. “Okay, Cypher.”
He leaned forward and pressed his lips firmly to hers. It only lasted a moment, but when he pulled back, he touched his forehead to hers. “I know you can take his ass out. And even if he yields, you kill him.”
“What?”
“When I said no mercy, I meant none. Not even if he yields.”
“Isn’t that a little ruthless?” Lilly asked.
“It is. But it’s necessary. It’s what I would do at a time like this. For him to challenge you in a time of war is ruthless and dangerous for our people. When he comes and makes the public challenge, you need to read the actual written rules, which include the war stipulation. The people will understand what he’s doing. They will not think you cruel for killing him even if he submits.”
“He won’t yield,” Lilly said, knowing in her heart it was true. Someone like Lysander, willing to cause dissension during such a time, would see yielding as a weakness. He’d rather die.
“No, he won’t,” Cypher agreed. “But he might pretend to in order to catch you off guard. So, no matter what, you kill him.” He leaned forward and pressed his hand to the book which began to glow. After several seconds, he pulled his hand away and turned to her, a smile on his handsome face. “You should be able to read it now.”
Lilly rolled her eyes. “Dammit, Cy, now I have to read. I was going to use the excuse to Peri that I couldn’t read it because of the whole language barrier.”
Cypher waved his hand at the book, and it flipped open. “Just read that page. That’s the one you will need to read to the clans when Lysander shows his asshat face.”
She laughed. “I totally just pictured his face as an ass with eyes.”
Cypher grinned. It was one of his boyish grins that always made her heart beat a little faster. “It’s easy to picture, considering he has such a charming personality.”
Lilly leaned forward and cupped her mate’s face in her hands. “Thank you,” she whispered. She ran her thumb across his bottom lip, his grin slowly fading. She wanted to beg him to never stop grinning at her. Lilly wanted to beg him to figure out a way to stay with her so that she didn’t have to do this on her own.
“You never have to thank me, my love,” he said softly. “It is an honor to have the privilege of being here for you when I can, for however long that is.”
“Forever,” Lilly whispered. “I will need you forever.”
Cypher said nothing, but she could see in his eyes that he knew their time would come to an end soon. She wanted to grab hold of him and shake him and make him promise to never leave her. Lilly couldn’t stand the sorrow she saw in his eyes, so she moved closer to him and pressed her head to his chest. She was lying to herself, but it was what she needed to do. For now. She had to pretend he was with her and would be always, just like they’d planned. She had to tell herself that she wasn’t just fighting for the future of their people, or for the whole of the world, but for them as well. Because she still had moments where fighting for everyone else wasn’t enough. Deep down, she knew when they reached the end of this road, when the dust settled, and the Order was defeated, he would no longer be by her side. She knew it was selfish, but she actually dreaded that day. They could stand victorious. One day, the supernatural races might be safe, the humans free of enslavement, and Alston, Ludcarab, and all the vampires destroyed. That day wouldn’t feel like a victory to Lilly. Because at the end of it all, she would still be alone.
“Beloved,” Cypher said, his voice gentle as he held her tighter. He could always tell when she was having one of her moments, when she couldn’t pretend this was real. She couldn’t make herself believe he wasn’t gone and that they were really in their room together. “I will be here for as long as you need me,” he reminded her.
She pressed her face harder against him and breathed in his scent. Tears ran down her cheeks and her chest tightened. His words were meant to comfort. Instead, they broke her a little more. Lilly knew that daywouldcome. She would never stopwantinghim, but therewouldcome a day when she wouldn’tneedhim. She knew it because she remembered the day when she realized she no longer needed Dillon. Though, at the time, she had been sure that day would never come. The memory took over unbidden as her love held her.
“She’s perfect,”the doctor said as she wrapped the baby,her baby, and brought the child to its mother. Lilly had labored for hours. There’d been no one to help her. No one to hold her hand. No one to remind her to breathe or assure her she was doing great, as there had been in all the damn birthing videos she’d watched. It had just been Lilly and the medical staff. But she’d done it. Lilly had gone through nine months of pregnancy, worked two jobs, gotten a nursery ready, put a damn crib together with the crappiest instructions ever written, and endured twenty-seven hours of labor all on her own.
She reached out and took the small bundle from Dr. Freeman. Tears filled her eyes as she stared down at the little girl who was now her entire world.
“What’s her name?” the doctor asked.
“Jacquelyn,” Lilly said, her eyes still on her baby. “Her name is Jacquelyn, and you’re right. She is perfect.” She couldn’t take her eyes off the little miracle. Lilly knew from Dillon how hard it was for theCanis lupusto produce offspring, and yet, here was her little Jacque. “It’s you and me, kiddo,” she whispered. “And we’re going to be just fine.”
The memory faded as she felt another presence in the room. “You were never alone, Lilly of the sprites. Never.” The Great Luna’s voice filled her mind, and the goddess’s peace filled Lilly’s heart. Her lips turned up in a small smile as Cypher held her to him. Even back then, some part of Lilly had known shewasn’tactually alone, that she was being watched over by someone up there. She just didn’t know who. Maybe that’s why she’d finally realized that, though she wanted Dillon, she didn’tneedhim to survive.
The smile faded as she clung to her mate. She wasn’t there yet. Not with Cypher. “I love you so much,” she told him, as she did every night.
“And I you, my strong, sweet Lilly.”
Chapter 14
“A little free advice: before you kill someone, consider the fact that it might cause people not to trust you … even if you offer them cotton candy.” ~Myanin
