“Like I said,” Lilly leaned back on the couch, “you have until tomorrow. By then you will have either had to skedaddle or face down Perizada.”
Myanin nodded. “Right. As I said, I’ve known Thadrick a very long time. He was my best friend and mentor. As I aged, he came to mean more to me.” Her mind wandered back to those memories she still held dear to her heart. She continued her story, telling the queen every detail. She didn’t leave out how she’d found out about Thadrick’s lover and how it had destroyed her. Or how she’d lied to Jezebel because she’d been so blind with hurt. For years, she hadn’t even felt any guilt over it because in her mind, Thad had belonged toher. “Supernaturals tend to be a bit possessive,” she said with a sad smile.
“Believe me, I am aware,” Lilly said softly, her eyes holding less condemnation and more understanding.
“It wasn’t until I got to the Order and saw what they were doing that I began to doubt myself … doubt my choices.” Myanin felt sick to her stomach as she thought about the evil she’d seen in the prisoner’s eyes, the one who’d compared her to him. Not that he’d been wrong.
“Anger and pain can blind us to right and wrong,” Tenia said.
“Yes,” Myanin agreed. “Being with the Order made that clearer. But also I’ve been shown much by the Great Luna.”
“Do you regret it?” Lilly asked.
Myanin closed her eyes as she pictured Thadrick. She remembered all of their times together, how he’d always been there for her. She remembered the day Jezebel had showed up looking for Thadrick and how much hate Myanin harbored in her heart. How had she let herself fall so far? She had to make herself swallow so she wouldn’t start crying.
“Yes,” she said, her voice shaking. “If I could go back, if I could fix it all…” She opened her eyes and met the warlock queen’s. “I would in a heartbeat, but at the time, every time I pictured them together, the rage would grow. Seeing the only male I’ve ever loved holding someone else was—”
“A bitch,” Lilly finished for her.
A tear ran down Myanin’s cheek. “It was.”
Lilly sighed. “Why did you come here to tell me this, Myanin?”
“Because I’ve seen your past,” she admitted. “If anyone can understand, it’s you.”
Lilly snorted a laugh, though it was humorless. “Oh, Idounderstand. You’re certainly right about that.”
“Youalsokilled someone because of jealousy?” Tenia asked Lilly, her eyes wide.
Lilly coughedand shook her head vehemently. “Um, no. But I loved a man who would never be able to love me, not the way I needed him to, and he had to leave me for another woman.” Lilly stared at Myanin, the djinn who’d just poured out every ugly detail of what she’d done. She’d also said she regretted her actions, and Lilly believed her. If she didn’t regret her actions, she wouldn’t be sitting here opening herself up to a total stranger, hoping for her to understand. “I take it the Order doesn’t know you’re paying me a visit?”
“No,” Myanin said. “I do not wish to put you in danger. But I’m conflicted. They have Tenia’s young, which I am not okay with. Children should never be hurt for any reason. Also, I do not agree that the humans should be enslaved, even though I think them dim-witted and unoriginal. I’ll admit to feeling slightly superior to them … in every way possible. But I’m working on that.” She paused. “Sort of. I mean, I’m working through my past prejudice.”
“Slightlysuperior?” Lilly challenged. “Pastprejudices?”
Myanin rolled her eyes. “All of their buildings are square, and they have no security in their territories whatsoever. They don’t stand a chance against the likes of the Order. And they walk around so clueless.”
“Humans don’t know there is a supernatural threat,” Lilly said. “They’re prepared for war from their own kind, even if you cannot see their warriors.” Myanin didn’t look convinced. “You still haven’t told me what you want, Myanin. In fact, I’m not exactly sure what I can do for you.”
“I think we can help each other.” She motioned to the fae. “Tenia and I are supposed to be spying on the wolves. We must report back to Alston and Ludcarab. Obviously, we’re going to give them false information. But we can beactualspies for you against the Order if you’d like. And I can personally help you.”
Lilly’s lips pursed. “Help me how?”
“You need to regain your strength. Your warriors need to be prepared for battle. I saw the death of your king. I’ve seen what it’s doing to your people. They must be united, Lilly, and the only way to do that is to show them you are strong and have a plan. I have been a warrior for a very long time. I can get you and your warriors into fighting shape.”
“I have a general who is more than capable,” Lilly challenged.
“He’s not a djinn,” Myanin said. She didn’t sound superior this time, just stating a fact.
“Only the fae rival the djinn in fighting ability,” Tenia added. “They’re old and powerful, so powerful that the Great Luna does not permit them to use all of their power. Myanin can offer much wisdom to help your people, and you, ready themselves.”
Lilly stood as she considered Myanin’s offer. “What do you want?”
“Absolution, if that’s possible,” Myanin whispered. “To make some sort of amends for what I’ve done. Maybe by doing this, I will show my people that I haven’t lost all of my honor.”
“They won’t spare you, Myanin,” Lilly said, knowing the truth might be unwelcome. “Thadrick and the elders, they think you’re in complete league with the Order. It’s the last thing he saw before you jacked with his abilities.”
Myanin bowed her head. “I know, but maybe I can die with honor. There are worse fates.”
