“Is that because you messed up Thad’s magic?” Lilly asked, taking a seat on the couch.
“Yes.”
Lilly again saw a strange flicker of emotion in the djinn’s eyes at the mention of Thadrick’s name. Her curiosity was piqued. “Why do I get the feeling there is more to that story than the djinn history keeper shared with us?”
“Probably because he didn’t want to go into the sordid details of my longtime obsession with him,” Myanin said without blinking. She pulled something from her pocket and Lilly started to move, but Myanin shook her head. “We have no need of weapons, your highness. I am simply retrieving a recently discovered treat, something that keeps me calm.”
Lilly watched as the djinn pulled out a package of… “cotton candy?”
“I told you not to ask,” Tenia said. “She smiles when she talks about it. It’s usually a creepy smile.”
Myanin smiled, but it wasn’t creepy. The expression was so childlike it left Lilly speechless. “This is truly the best invention humans have ever had.” Myanin tore off a piece and put it in her mouth. There was a brief look of surprise on the djinn’s face, which seemed incongruent with her love of the candy. She seemed confused that it tasted so good. But she should have already known that, because of her self-admitted obsession with it.
“Oookaay,” Lilly said slowly, feeling even more confused and wishing she had some Valium to offer the cotton-candy-addicted weirdo.
“It’s an unhealthy habit I can’t seem to break her of,” Tenia said, sounding very ashamed of herself, as if she was personally responsible for the djinn’s addiction.
“You realize that stuff is full of sugar, right? It will rot your teeth if you don’t brush really well.” Lilly immediately felt ridiculous. She was telling a supernatural creature, who was no doubt hundreds of years old, that she might get cavities.
“I have a feeling rotten teeth are the least of our worries right now,” Myanin said as she tore off a chunk of the pink, fluffy confection and shoved it in her mouth, humming in appreciation. “We digress,” she said. “I need to tell you of the mess I have gotten myself into and perhaps then you will feel less…”—she paused, seeming to think of the word she wanted to use—“shitty about your situation.”
That’s one way to put it.
“Maybe we can help each other,” the djinn continued.
“Not to be rude, but I’m not usually into helping people who’ve killed their own leaders,” Lilly said. “It sort of sets a dangerous precedent, especially by a queen.”
“I fully appreciate your position,” Myanin said, still eating her cotton candy as if it wasn’t weird for a chick who looked like a badass warrior to be chowing down on a children’s treat. “Just, please, hear me out?”
The words were so genuine Lilly found herself nodding. “Fine.” She motioned for the woman to continue.
Myanin licked her fingers and then tucked the empty bag into her pocket. She met Lilly’s stare as she began. “Thadrick and I have known each other for a very long time. He was a dear friend.”
The emotion in her voice didn’t convey that he was a dear friend. There was heartbreak, remorse, love, and regret all wrapped up in those two sentences. “You’re in love with him,” Lilly said. “Or at least you were.”
Myanin took a steadying breath.She’d felt a little off balance since putting that first bite of cotton candy in her mouth. She’d expected ash, and instead she’d gotten an explosion of flavor that melted on her tongue and made her mouth water for more. She really liked humans. In fact, she was going to be their biggest supporter from now on. Okay, maybe she wouldn’t go that far.Small steps. You’ve poured out your transgressions, begged forgiveness from the soul you killed, and given back the magic you stole, Myanin. Give yourself time to catch up before you go declaring yourself the protector of mankind.
Lilly cleared her throat, causing Myanin’s eyes to jump back to the queen. She’d lost herself in her thoughts while Lilly was waiting for her to respond to her comment about Myanin’s feelings toward Thadrick. Hmm. How to answer?
So much had changed in the past couple of days.Shehad changed, and not in just small,I broke this annoying habitkind ofway.There was still shame. She didn’t know if that would ever fully go away. And sorrow because she’d lost her honor. There was still pain because she had truly loved Thadrick until it blinded her with evil jealousy. But, being at the Order, seeing what the other supernaturals were willing to do because they thought their cause was just, the Great Luna and her pursuit of Myanin, and Lyra forcing her to face what she’d done… It had all changed her.
“I am not the same person I was a year ago, a month ago, or even two days ago,” she finally said.
“I would hope not,” Lilly said, her eyes kind as she stared at Myanin. “Stagnancy in human nature is like sitting water. It breeds bacteria and attracts the wrong kinds of things.”
Myanin shifted her body, her eyes narrowing on the queen. She was intelligent, this sprite who seemed more human than any supernatural Myanin had ever encountered. “And yet I am not human,” she said.
“Apparently there is no exception to the rule for supernaturals,” Lilly quipped.
Myanin bowed her head just a hair, acquiescing to her assessment, as she was right.
“What has changed about you?” Lilly asked. She wasn’t just curious, Myanin noted. The queen was truly interested. She wanted to know what would cause a woman who’d killed one of her own to admit she was now different.
“I’m aware and able to accept that what I did was wrong,” she said. She glanced at Tenia, who nodded in encouragement. Myanin looked back at Lilly and continued. “And at first, I felt nothing. I just wanted to make Thadrick and his female pay for what they’d done. I didn’t consider that their actions resulted from my own.”
“Whoa,” Lilly said, holding up her hands. “You’re going to have to back up. You wanted to make Thadrick andwhopay?”
That’s right, Myanin realized. The queen only knew that Myanin had killed an elder. She didn’t know the rest. So, she’d have to start at the beginning. “This might take a while,” she warned.
