“Yeah,” he agreed.
“Then we will worry about one another equally. This isn’t about me or you. It’s about us.”
His eyes jumped back and forth between hers as if searching for anything that might prove her words to be untrue. Then he nodded and bent his head to press a chaste kiss to her lips. Nick slipped an arm under her waist and wrapped the other around the top of her, pulling her close to him. Then he buried his face in her neck.“Show me.”His voice whispered softly into her mind.
Kara took a deep breath and reminded herself that the ordeal was over. She’d lived through hell. She’d faced the devil and won. Kara opened her mind to the memories that she’d pushed into a box the moment she’d woken up in Nick’s room. They flowed out, beginning with the moment when Alston, Ludcarab, and Cain showed up at the pack compound. She kept her breathing even as the past two months played out like a movie. Kara realized as she showed the scenes to Nick that she was watching the story unfold as if it was happening to someone else. She removed her emotions from the equation and held her mate as he endured all that she went through. She knew the bond between them would let him feel every emotion, just as she had.
Kara wrapped her arms tightly around him as his body shook. His breathing hitched against her neck, and she felt wetness on her skin, running down her collarbone. Kara felt her own tears welling up as her strong mate broke beneath the weight of her memories. But then, maybe he wasn’t the only one falling apart. Maybe she wasn’t as separated from the memories as she thought, because as he saw the moment she walked into Ludcarab’s bedroom for the last time, Kara, despite having told the elf king that she broke for no one, felt like she was breaking now.
She remembered the moment the poison took effect and the momentary relief that filled her. Quickly on the heels of that relief had been her vengeance. As soon as she’d felt the dagger in her hand, Kara had turned off any semblance of humanity that might have given him mercy and released every ounce of rage that had built in her since she’d become his captive.
“I never knew there was so much blood in a person,” she said and then wished she could take the words back.
Nick lifted one of his hands and ran it down her hair. “Say anything you need to say, my mate. There is nothing you can’t tell me.”
She swallowed hard and felt her heart squeeze tightly in her chest. She hoped his words were true, because Kara knew once she started talking, she wouldn’t be able to shut up. Maybe that was why she thought she couldn’t describe what happened. Because if she did, the darkest parts of herself would be revealed, parts of her she didn’t even want to acknowledge.
“It’s okay, Kara.” Nick pulled back. Tears streaked his face. His eyes glowed with his wolf, and she could feel his anger, but it wasn’t directed at her. “Tell me.”
“When Ludcarab told me the elixir he gave me would restore my ability to conceive… I wanted…” She choked as the tears came harder. “I wanted it to be true.” She tried to push away from him, shame filling her as she felt her skin flush.
“Don’t,” Nick growled. “Don’t push me away.” He took her chin in his hand and turned her head to look at him. “There is no shame in wanting a child.”
“I thought you’d get to me before…” She shook her head. “I’m not blaming you. Please don’t think that. But I thought if I drank it and you got to me before he could touch me, then maybe we could…” Kara bit her lip to keep it from trembling. “But then he came for me, and it was too late.”
Nick lockeddown his emotions tight as his precious mate finally let go of everything she’d been holding inside. He’d been willing to wait as long as it took, but he knew that with all that she’d suffered, she had to get it out. If not with him, then with someone she trusted. He had promised himself that if she chose to share her experience with him, he would not lose control. That wasn’t what Kara needed. She needed his strength, but she also needed to know that he hurtwithher.
“It was too late,” she said again as the gates of grief burst open, and her sobs filled the room that had been so quiet for the past week. She shook and pounded her fist against his chest. At times, she pushed at him, only to then quickly grab him back as if she was scared he would leave her to weep alone. But he wasn’t going anywhere. He would hold her for as long as she needed. He had no answers. She whimpered when there was a momentary reprieve from her uncontrolled emotions, but the respite never lasted long. The flood of tears started again, and the anguish that pulsed through their mate bond robbed him of his breath. Nick wondered if it was possible for a mate to suffocate because of his female’s grief and his inability to do anything to ease it.
At some point, he heard a knock on the door, but he ignored it as he continued to hold Kara, rocking her gently, attempting to calm her because he feared she would make herself sick. Time passed slowly until the sobs slowed to whimpers and then to soft shudders as she sucked air into her starved lungs. When her body finally stilled and her voice was quiet, Nick pressed a kiss to her head and thanked the Great Luna that Kara had worn herself out and fallen asleep. Maybe there she would find a semblance of peace.
The room darkened as the sun set outside the windows, and the moon rose high into the night sky. Still, his mate slept. Nick whispered to her. He spoke of promises of the future they would have. He told her how her soul had called to him and had kept him sane for a time. Mostly, he just told her he loved her and that she would never fight alone again.
“Nick.”
He startled at the sound of his name and raised his head to see the Great Luna at the foot of their bed.
“Goddess,” he said, bowing his head as he pulled Kara closer.
“It is time for you and your Kara Luisa to see the joy that came from tragedy.”
“Kara Luisa?” he asked, confused by what the goddess called his mate.
“It means renowned warrior, for that is what she is,” the Great Luna explained as she looked at Kara. “It is time to wake Kara.”
Nick shifted as his mate moved. She lifted her hand to push her hair from her face, glancing first at him and then turning to look at the goddess.
“You have been through much,” the Great Luna said. She walked around the bed to Kara. “And you have sacrificed greatly. Are you ready to see the gift of that sacrifice?”
Kara pushed herself up, so she was sitting, and Nick did the same. He kept an arm around her, tucking her against his side. “I think so,” Kara answered, her voice much calmer than the last time he’d heard it.
The Great Luna nodded and then looked at Nick. “Focus your wolf's senses and then tell me what you hear.”
Nick frowned but did as the goddess asked. He pulled on his wolf’s power. His eyesight sharpened in the dark room, his sense of smell picked up even the slightest scent, and his hearing honed in on the tiniest of noise. He kept still and told his wolf to pay attention to the sounds. Nick closed his eyes and slowed his breathing. Then he heard it. A small whooshing sound, fast and strong.
His eyes snapped open, and he looked at the Great Luna. She nodded and then looked at his mate.
Nick glanced down at Kara’s stomach, and the sound grew stronger now that he focused on it. He reached over and placed his hand on her.
