Peri did smile that time.“I look forward to it.”She glanced one more time at the people who’d shown up to get her back. They’d come because they cared. Despite what she’d done and the mistakes she’d made, her friends had shown up. Peri sent her thanks to the Great Luna for such an amazing family and then flashed back to the cave.
When she rounded the rocky outcropping that gave the group privacy from the entrance, she found Tenia and Torion curled up together on the pallet bed, sound asleep. Skender sat next to them, staring at the dancing flames of the fire, his expression forlorn.
“You’ve found your true mate. She’s forgiven you for all your crap. You’ve completed the Blood Rites. And you’ve inherited an amazing fae son.” Peri took a seat across from him. “So, why, pray tell, do you look like someone just drowned your favorite kitten?”
Skender continued to stare at the fire. His legs were drawn up close to his chest, and his forearms rested on his knees. Peri noticed his shoulders were coiled with tension, as if he might need to jump up at any moment to protect his mate and child. After several moments, he finally answered. “I wasn’t going to allow myself to claim her,” he said, his voice deep but soft, as if to keep from waking Tenia and Torion. “She deserves better than the likes of me. But she wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“Tenia is no spring maiden. She’s a grown woman who has lived a very long time.” Peri leaned back against the cave wall. “She’s capable of making her own choices. Not to mention, considering it affects both of you, she should have a say in the decision.”
Skender’s eyes left the fire and met hers. “Are you seriously lecturing me about my relationship withmymate?” There was humor in his voice, not condescension. “Considering you’re here and not with your mate, where youshouldbe.”
Peri smirked. “Ironic, isn’t it?”
“It just goes to show that no matter how ‘put together’ someone’s relationship looks on the outside, that doesn’t mean it isn’t a complete mess on the inside.” Skender sighed and glanced over at his mate and child. “I thought you and Lucian were solid.”
“And how would you know?” Peri asked. “You were too busy betraying us. It’s not like you had ample time to sit around and chat with us over coffee.”
“True. I suppose I just thought that true mates always just worked, no matter what.”
“Nothingjust works, Skender. Everythingtakeswork. No matter the type of relationship, soul mates or not, any union takes two individuals willing to put aside their own wants and needs for the other. It takes sacrifice, and that sacrifice makes you very vulnerable. I don’t think any being, human or supernatural, wants to feel vulnerable.” Peri’s words weren’t just for Skender’s ears. They were for her own as well. “Vulnerability opens you up to the possibility of pain, and pain is something most people avoid at all costs, regardless of whether it’s emotional or physical.”
“Is that what happened to you?”
Peri found her mouth suddenly dry, and it was difficult to swallow. She cleared her throat. “In my long existence, I have never experienced the kind of pain I felt when Vasile and Alina died. And for a time, all I wanted was to make sure I never felt that kind of pain again.” As the agonizing memories emerged, Peri didn’t try to stop them. Instead, she let them play like a movie in her head, a horrible, tragic, gut-wrenching movie. She knew that if she didn’t let them out, healing would never begin.
“I was just so angry,” she said. “I didn’t understand what purpose their deaths served. How did it help anyone or anything to lose two strong, steadfast leaders while we are in the midst of a battle against the worst kind of evil?” She sighed. “So, yes, I guess that’s what happened to me. I attempted to avoid any further pain.” Peri realized she’d been too proud to lay her pain at her Creator’s feet and ask for help in bearing the burden of the alphas’ deaths. “I took the lives of so many, so I don’t have the right to judge.” Her voice strained against the shame she was trying to swallow.
“We all—”
“If you say, ‘We all make mistakes,’” Peri cut him off, “I will turn you into—”
“A turd,” he interrupted. “Yes, I’m well aware. You need to get some new material, Peri.” He chuckled and then added, “What I was going to say before you made your assumption was that we have all judged people unfairly. Whether it’s because we compare ourselves to them and come up lacking or because we take relief in seeing that their transgressions are worse than our own.”
“Is this a pep talk?” Peri asked. She rubbed her hands together and held them out to the fire. Not because she was cold but simply because the warmth against her skin was pleasant. “If it is, you really need to take a class. Or watch one of those movies full of epic battles where the leader spurs his warriors on to run headlong to their deaths and feel good about doing it.”
Skender pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s not a pep talk. It’s just two people who’ve made some really crappy decisions having a conversation. I’m lending a listening ear.”
Peri scrunched up her face. “Do you mean bonding? We’re bonding?” She could hear the disgust in her voice and tried to tone it down. “It’s not that I don’t want to bond with you because of your past. It’s just, bonding with you or anyone else is not on my to-do list. I mean”—she waved a hand at him and blew out her cheeks with a breath—“if you could see my to-do list and all the repairing I have to do, you’d understand why I cannot add another relationship to the list of already jacked-up friendships.”
“While I’m glad to see you becoming yourself again”—Skender lowered his legs and picked up a couple of pebbles, rolling them around in his hand—“I kind of liked the stoic, didn’t talk so much, version of Peri.”
“You’re just giving me another reason fornotbeing that version,” Peri said. “Okay, enough about me. I made a mess of things, ruined some relationships, killed some people, and now I have to do something about it. Let’s move on.” She tapped her chin and looked at Skender. “What we need to talk about is your history, considering I agree with Torion regarding your childhood. Someone had to have altered your memories and used magic on you.
“Skender, you were essentially a plant by the Order, waiting for decades to be activated when they were ready for you. Your future had been mapped out beforehand, and you didn’t have a clue. You betrayed those you love. You hurt—”
Skender held up his hand, his eyes glowing, and Peri heard a low growl. “Your pep talks suck, too.”
“Touché.” Peri nodded. “But what I’m trying to say is that everything you did wasn’t totally your fault. Magic is powerful, Skender. It can make people do things they would normally never do.”
“That doesn’t change my actions,” Skender argued. “Regardless of why I did those things, they still hurt people, and I am still the one responsible for their pain.”
“Damn.” Peri huffed. “It’s so annoying when a person you want to dislike has likable qualities.” She tilted her head as if to see him from a different perspective. “Truth be told, the only reason I wanted to dislike you so much was because of how you helped the Order. But now, it’s just because you’re a wolf. It’s not nearly as bad, but it’s still annoying.”
“For someone who despises my race so much, you sure are quick to offer your help,” Skender pointed out.
Peri sniffed and settled the robe draped around her. “It would be boring if I liked everyone. And wolves have thick skin. They can handle my snide remarks and not run off with their tails tucked between their legs. Sometimes they even fight back, and that’s when things get really fun.”
“I don’t think you have to worry about boredom in this world, ever,” Skender said. “There’s too much evil that needs to be dismantled and burned to ash. Speaking of which”—he shifted forward—“now that Tenia’s awake, and you’re, well, not suicidal anymore, it’s time to connect with Fane, Jacque, and the other supernatural leaders. They need to know what’s happened.”
