“I felt her.” Nick’s breathing was rapid from more than just the jogging. His wolf was growing frantic inside of him. “My wolf saw her.” His feet froze as he stood outside the Canadian pack mansion.
They’d searched for a month. First, they’d tried to determine if perhaps Ludcarab and Alston might have decided to stay close to their previous compound. Nick thought it was a long shot, but perhaps their enemies thought it would be the last place the wolves would consider. The only thing they’d encountered were some newly made vampires. Nick and the others had happily dispatched them. His wolf had felt a miniscule amount of pleasure at having ended the lives of such despicable beings.
They’d also searched every hidden supernatural establishment in the human realm but had likewise discovered nothing. If anyone had known anything, the fear of facing Fane would have made them squeal like a cornered pig. So far, they had come up empty and had no leads to go on. Drayden had decided they needed to go back to their pack headquarters and regroup. Nick also knew he’d suggested it because Kara’s scent lingered there. Though the smell wasn’t as strong as it had been a month ago when he stepped into her room, it had brought him some semblance of peace. The feeling only lasted a moment, but it was a moment he treasured.
“What do you mean?” Drayden asked. “You felt her just now, but only your wolf saw her?”
Nick realized that didn’t make much sense. He shook his head and started pacing. “I mean, the bond has felt completely severed until now. But for an instant, it was there. We were connected again. And then my wolf showed her to me.” He closed his eyes and pictured what his wolf had seen. “I was in a forest just looking out into the trees. I could feel the bond. Then, my wolf’s attention was suddenly alert, his focus somewhere else entirely. His gaze searched for what we both felt. And then he heard footsteps.” Nick took a deep breath, afraid to believe that it was true. Maybe it was simply a figment of his imagination because he missed her so deeply. Maybe the memories he’d allowed to play out so vividly in his mind had begun to drive him mad. Half of him was missing. He was incomplete without his Kara. “When my wolf turned, she was there. At first, the beast didn’t trust what he was seeing, but then he smelled her. That’s when he let me in. He let me smell her and hear her voice. I phased. I tried to move toward her, but my feet wouldn’t budge.”
“Did she say anything?” Drayden asked, his voice urgent.
“She asked if she knew me,” Nick answered. “She looked confused, but there was something else. Something like hope, longing. I could see my own emotions echoed in her eyes. I know every nuance of her beautiful face as well as I know my own reflection in a mirror. Her brow was drawn low, and her mouth tight, as if trying to figure out who I was and it caused her pain.” Nick stopped pacing and turned to his alpha. His voice trembled. He clenched his jaw to keep from howling. Finally, he spoke. “She didn’t know me.” He wished he was stronger, that his voice didn’t waver. But not only was she lost to him, she also didn’t know who he was. He was a stranger to his mate. “My female doesn’t know who I am.”
Drayden walked over to Nick and pulled him into a hug. Nick didn’t care that others might not understand the need for him to have the touch of his alpha, the comfort of someone who loved him like a brother. “See this for what it is, Beta,” Drayden growled. “She isnotlost to you, not if the bond between you is strong enough to break through whatever magic the Order is using to keep you apart. This is hope.”
“He’s right,”his wolf rumbled.“She’s alive. Some part of her remembers us. Her soul sought out its other half. If she didn’t remember us, there would have been no reason for her to do so.”
Nick considered the words of his alpha and the wolf. They were both correct. Kara still felt a link between them. Now, he just needed to figure out how to get through toher.The bond was still there. He just needed to access it.
“What were you thinking about when it happened?” Drayden asked. He pulled back from Nick, giving his shoulders one final squeeze.
Nick didn’t want to answer. He didn’t want to share his private thoughts or moments about his mate with anyone, not even his alpha.
“I don’t need details,” Drayden huffed, seeming to understand Nick’s feelings on the matter.
“I remembered one of our worst fights and one of the nights I allowed myself to hold her while she slept. The emotions the memories evoked were”—he paused and swallowed—“intense.”
“Emotions make the bond stronger,” Drayden pointed out. “I, obviously, haven’t experienced the bond, but I’ve learned a lot about it over the course of my existence, and mated males have told me that when they or their mate experience intense emotions, the feelings cannot be blocked. Maybe that is why the bond was able to reconnect, though briefly.”
Nick considered it and had to admit that it was as good a guess as any.
“So, try focusing on more of those memories. Even if they’re painful,” Drayden added quickly. “Pain can be an overpowering, even crippling, emotion. Mix that with the fact that she has the other half of your soul. I would guess that combination would create one hell of a response.”
Nick looked out over the empty field and finally nodded. “I need to be alone. And being surrounded by her scent will help.” He turned back toward the mansion without another word. He didn’t bother to stop for a shower, a drink, or food. Nick marched straight to his mate’s room. He shut the door behind him and closed his eyes as he slid to the floor. His head leaned back against the wood, and he whispered. “Come back to me, Kara.” He let his memories of her assault his mind. “I’m here. Help me find you.”
ChapterTen
“The only thing certain in life is death and taxes, or so I’ve heard. And at the time, my young, uneducated mind didn't fully understand the saying. Now, experience, and, well,moreexperience has shown me that the saying is bullshit. It iscertainin life that you will experience many things so much worse than either of those aforementioned crapfests. It is certain in life that you will endure heartache, torture of various kinds, be it physical or emotional, shock, disbelief, and rage to the point of possibly committing murder. It is also a certainty that you will experience joy until your heart might burst from the sheer radiance of it. You will experience love of many kinds—some you might expect and some that might knock you right off your feet and onto your possibly too-big backside. So, are there certainties in life? Absolutely. Can anyone predict howyouwill encounter those certainties? Nope. They can only tell you to try and prepare yourself for them. How do we do that? I haven’t figured that out yet. Maybe sayingyesto drugs. Okay, not really. Therapy? Definitely. Being open to learning, change, offering forgiveness, grace, and accepting that you will not always be in control. This is a start, I think.” ~Jen
“Iwant it known that I am not okay with being left behind.” Sally stomped, maturely, back and forth from one end of the room to the other. She, Costin, Gavril, Rachel, Bethany, Titus, Slate, and Thia were all battened down in an enormous suite within the sprite’s great hall. Sally hadn’t figured out exactly how big the great hall was, but it was vast, and the number of rooms within seemed endless. She wondered if the building was like the Harry Potter tents that appeared tiny on the outside but were basically entire houses within. She shook her head at her meandering thoughts. Jen had mentioned several times lately during one of Sally’s ever-increasing zoned-out sessions that she must have pregnancy brain. If that meant that Sally had the attention span of a two-year-old on Mountain Dew capped off with a side of speed, then her friend was not wrong.
“I thought you were upset about being left behind,”Costin’s humor-laced voice filled her mind.“How did you go from being upset to Mountain Dew-drugged toddlers? Wait. Are you thinking of filling Thia up with some caffeinated concoction and then giving her back to Jen when they return? Because I’m totally on board with that.”
Sally stopped and turned to look at her mate, who was draped across one of three large couches filling the living area. One leg was slung over the end of the armrest, and his back leaned against the pillows as his left arm laid across the back of the couch. He looked more like a lazy jungle cat than a wolf.
“Want me to purr for you?”He winked and smiled, flashing her one of his dimples.
Sally rolled her eyes at him.“Flirting with me is not going to un-tick me off.”
“That’s not a word.”
“Don’t care.”
“It’s worked before.”
“Not this time.”
She continued her pointless walking and found herself rubbing her small, rounded stomach. It was barely a bump, but she could definitely tell it was no longer flat. Sally knew for the safety of their child that she couldn’t go with Jacque, Jen, and the others to help deal with Peri, but that didn’t mean she liked it. The fae held a special place in Sally’s heart, and she always would. No matter what the woman had said and done, Peri would always be family to Sally.
