He slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. His other hand tugged at the gown until it tore on one side and hung off her shoulder. Ludcarab leaned down and touched his lips to hers. Kara didn’t respond. Her body did not curve into his, and her flesh did not warm as he held her tighter. He chuckled but continued to move his mouth over her skin, kissing her cheek, her jaw, and then on to her ear. “I will enjoy bending you to my will, little Kara.” His breath against her skin disgusted her, but still, she did not move.
His hands roamed over her body, but Kara didn’t feel any of it. She heard the gown tear again and felt the cold air across her chest and stomach. The sensation almost made her flinch, but she remained as still as a statue. Eventually, Ludcarab picked her up and carried her to the floating bed. She was briefly aware of being laid on the plush surface. Kara felt his body cover hers.
She knew it was now time to go. If she stayed in the moment, she would break. She would be shattered, and there would be no way to put herself back together. There would be nothing left for … for whom?
Kara threw herself into the world she’d created in her mind. She dove so deep that the pain of what was happening outside of her mind barely registered.
Though her body lay on a bed with an unwanted partner, in her mind's eye, she stood in a forest. The air was cool but not uncomfortable. The forest was lush, but also dark and mysterious within. She looked down and found that she was fully clothed, wearing jeans and a T-shirt—something familiar and comforting.
She turned in a slow circle until her eyes landed on a golden cord—like a thick, shimmering length of yarn—that floated in the air. The end of it hovered a few feet away, but the rest led off into the darkness of the forest. Something about the cord called to her. Kara walked to it and saw that the cord appeared to be two separate lengths of rope, each golden, entwining one another. She placed her hand upon it. She almost gasped when warmth flooded her body. The cord felt like soft silk in her palm. Immediately, she was filled with a sense of peace, of belonging.
But Kara was scared. She was terrified the cord would vanish and she would wake up. She would appearback there.She didn't know what was going onback there, but she knew it wasn't good. She knew there was a monster there, and he was devouring her. So Kara gripped the cord with everything she had.
She heard a voice in her mind."Don't be scared. Come to me."Somehow Kara knew she was meant to follow the cord to its end. She loosened her grip and began to walk, letting the soft material flow under her hand. The forest passed her by as she walked, but Kara kept her eyes on the shimmering rope. She knew outside the soft glow of light cast by the cord, the forest around her was growing darker. Kara had no idea if she walked for minutes, hours, or days. Time seemed to have both stopped and passed by in a great leap all at once. Suddenly, she reached the end of the rope.
Slowly, Kara raised her head and saw before her a giant black wolf.
The large beast wasn’t facing her. Instead, it looked toward the dense trees—his ears erect, his back straight, and his tail held out stiff behind him. He was focused on something she couldn’t see. He was beautiful, his dark, black fur looked soft and thick. She itched to run her fingers through it.
Like the cord, the wolf called to her. Kara wanted to get closer. Even though the beast might be dangerous to her, all she could think about was wrapping her hand in his thick coat and holding on for dear life.
She took a step toward it, and the grass beneath her feet crunched. The wolf's head swung around. His glowing eyes were the color of obsidian. His head tilted slightly to the side, and he dropped it a couple of inches. His eyes narrowed even more. After several heartbeats, the wolf stuck his nose in the air, and he took a deep breath.
Kara watched the beast close his eyes. His body tensed. Then the wolf’s head snapped down, and his black eyes reopened, focused on her. There was something so familiar about him, something that made her trust him.
“Who are you?” she asked out loud. Did she expect a wolf to answer her? It was her world, her imagination, so why not?
The wolf didn't answer. Instead, it shimmered, and suddenly the wolf was gone, replaced by a tall, handsome man. She should have been shocked. But rather than surprise, she once again felt peace—the same sense of belonging she received when she touched the golden rope. Kara sensed sheknewthis man, just as she knew the wolf.
“Kara?” The man's deep voice reached inside of her, as if it was a hand wrapping around her spine and tugging her toward him. Her feet stood their ground, though everything inside her screamed at her to go to him.
“I’m coming,” he said. “Stay alive. Don’t you dare give up. I lo—”
His words were cut off, and the man disappeared.
"What…?" Kara made to take a step toward the spot where the man had vanished when she was ripped violently out of the forest. She screamed, but her voice made no sound. Her eyes flew open, and she was once againback there.She stared up at a dark ceiling and saw black silk billowing around. Kara felt movement beside her and then smelled something she’d encountered many times before in foster homes where she’d lived, though thankfully never one she’d had to associate with herself—until now. Her stomach roiled and vomit rose in her throat. She had to swallow hard to keep from puking in the elf king’s bed, not that she cared too much about the damn sheets, but she didn’t feel like wearing her own vomit. She shifted her body and immediately felt an unfamiliar soreness in a place she'd never been sore before. That was the last straw. She turned her head quickly as the contents from her stomach ejected itself from her mouth. Thankfully, she’d been close enough to the edge of the bed that the majority of her lunch made it onto the floor.
A hand ran down her bare back. The sensation only made her wretch harder. Kara vomited until she dry heaved when there was nothing left in her stomach. She used the sheet to wipe her face. Despite the mess, she stayed on her side of the bed. She didn’t want to face the elf king. All she wanted was to crawl back into the steaming, hot bath and scrub his touch from her flesh.
“You will become accustomed to my presence.” His voice purred behind her. “I had planned for a longer evening, but you will no doubt want to clean up, and I'm sure you will be hungry now.” He sounded so unaffected, so unconcerned, over the fact that he’d just raped her. “I will come for you again later. We must ensure that you carry my heir very soon.”
Kara trembled violently. She pushed herself up until she was sitting on the edge of the bed. With a look of disgust, she had no choice but to take the tainted sheet and wrap it around herself. Her feet hit the floor with a jolt from the height of the bed, and she almost collapsed. Kara had forgotten it was hovering above the ground. She didn’t wait to see if Ludcarab had anything else to say. Walking quickly to the door, she remembered to hold her head high and keep her shoulders pulled back. She wouldnotfold beneath this monster, not even after what he’d done to her.
Somehow, she found her way back to her room. Once inside, she slammed the door behind her and pressed her back against it. Her breathing came in rapid pants as if she’d run a marathon rather than down a few twisty, stone corridors. Her chest tightened, and her body continued to shake. The trembling worsened when she felt the evidence of his disgusting actions trickle down the inside of her thighs.
Without another thought, Kara bolted for the bathroom. She dropped the sheet, practically leaped into the shower, and turned the nozzle for the hot water to the left as far as it would go, not even bothering to add any cold. She wasn't looking for comfort or calmness. She needed to be seared. The sizzling water hit her flesh, and she couldn’t stop the scream that erupted from her throat. Despite the pain from the scalding liquid, she welcomed it. The physical pain was so much better than what she felt on the inside. She released the tight rein she’d held over her emotions and let the tears flow freely. Her nails clawed at her skin, and all the while, the scream exploding from her throat continued, as if it might go on forever.
Eventually, the scream morphed into a warble, a sound that alternated between growls, heaving sounds, and then back to ear-piercing screeches. Her eyes landed on a bar of soap. She snatched it up and vigorously scoured herself, attempting to wash away what he’d done to her. But Kara knew no amount of washing could cleanse her. The soap fell from her hands and hit the floor with a thud. Kara’s body shuddered, and her hands formed into fists, her nails biting into the palms of her hands. The skin felt tight stretched across her bent knuckles.
Her sandy brown hair fell in wet strings in front of her face. She could see the wall between the strands, but it wasn’t the tile she saw. It was his face. Ludcarab and his smug smile. Kara roared. She pulled her arm back and slammed her fist into the mirage. The skin tore, and blood dripped from her knuckles. She ignored it and punched the wall again. Over and over, she bellowed until her voice was hoarse, and she was sure she’d probably broken some bones in both hands.
Exhaustion finally caught up with Kara, and her arms dropped. Her head fell forward, and she watched her blood drip onto the shower floor only to be washed away by the water. Instead of feeling weaker, the healer felt stronger. The monster had taken something from her. And she knew he would take it again and again. And she would most likely lose her shit every single time, but one day… One day it would be her turn. Her time would come, and she would take everything from him. Every ounce of pain he caused her she would return tenfold. “I swear it,” she whispered as she stood motionless beneath the burning water. “I will end you.”
ChapterNine
“I would like to say that if I lost you, I would be strong enough to carry on, that I would keep your memory alive for the rest of the world. But this, I cannot do. If you are gone, then I am gone. If your life is over, then mine is as well. Without you, I am simply a shadow of the person I would have been with you at my side. There is no me without you.”
~Nick
