Skender’s eyes snapped to Torion’s face, but the boy was looking at Tenia. Torion didn’t see the surprise that Skender knew must have been in his eyes. He’d never considered that he might have had magic used on him. But what else would explain the memory loss and then the sudden return of them a century or more later? His mind jumped back to a time he’d rather not remember, but one that was forever burned into his mind. Alston had captured the healer, Sally, and performed a memory spell on her. At the time, Skender felt uneasy about what they were doing because he knew Sally was the true mate of his packmate, Costin. But Skender did nothing to stop the Order. There was something inside of him pushing him to do whatever was necessary to see the Order succeed. He’d been convinced that the supernaturals of the world shouldn’t have to live in secret. “I was such a fool,” he murmured as he threaded his fingers through Tenia’s hand. He felt tears welling up in his eyes, tears he didn’t deserve to cry because the pain he felt had been of his own making. No one had held a gun to his head and made him cooperate with the Order.
“You can tell me more later,” Torion said gently.
“I would be interested to hear more of this story as well,” Peri’s voice said from the entrance of the cave.
Skender glanced over at her. The high fae’s face held an expression of interest, but her eyes were narrowed dangerously. He wondered if she would have already killed him if Tenia wasn't his true mate. Yes, of course, she would have, and with a smile on her face while she did it.
He gave her a knowing look, then bowed his head, acknowledging her request. Then she flashed and was gone again, leaving him and Torion to watch and wait for Tenia to wake up.
* * *
We shouldn’t be allowedto exist.Tenia had come to the conclusion over the past few weeks as she sat languishing on a bench in the middle of a lush forest. She knew the bench and the forest weren't real. She knew they only existed in her mind because she could feel her body, but she couldn’t move. She could hear her son’s voice, and Skender’s, but she couldn’t respond. Her eyes wouldn’t open no matter how many times she commanded them to. She was stuck.
The last thing she remembered was being engulfed by the cold fire. Tenia had been sure her life was over. In her thoughts, she’d told Torion and Skender goodbye. She’d mourned the life she would never have. She had no idea how much time had passed when she found herself awake in the forest.Awakewasn't the correct word. She wasawarebut not awake. The forest looked very similar to the one in the fae realm. The colors were more vivid than those in the human realm, and the scents were stronger. But the magic of the realm felt weak, and she wondered why.
In her unconscious-yet-aware state, Tenia had listened to the story Skender had been telling her son. Slowly, the pieces were beginning to fit together. Torion was correct. The only thing that could have affected Skender’s memories was magic. And if it made him turn on the people he’d grown to love and trust, it had been extremely dark magic. This was what had convinced her that the world would be better off without supernaturals in it.
After all the atrocities she'd seen the Order commit, Tenia had come to realize the depth of their depravity. If the Order was any example, not only were supernatural beings not superior to humans, but they were far inferior, capable of feats of evil the humans couldn't dream of. The supernatural races had too much power and too many willing to use it for their own gain, no matter the terrible consequences. Perhaps it would be better for everyone if the supernatural races no longer were allowed to leave their own realms. Then their evil could not put humans in danger.
“I was such a fool.”She heard Skender’s words and the pain that filled them.
We are all fools.She wished she could communicate to him through their bond. She could still feel the tether connecting them. Yet no matter how many times she tried to reach out to him, she was unsuccessful.
Tenia pushed up from the bench and began to walk. She strolled in a large circle around the bench. Not because it was what she wanted, but because it was all she was allowed in this place that seemed to be holding her. Regardless of which direction she tried to go, her body was forced to turn, pushed by an invisible hand, back toward the bench. She could see the dense forest beyond the small field surrounding the bench, but it was out of reach. Her imprisonment began as an irritation, but it was quickly becoming maddening.
Her thoughts veered toward Myanin, and Tenia wondered how her unlikely friend was doing. If she knew Myanin at all, she would guess the djinn was probably ticked off she'd lost her primary source of cotton candy. The thought made her smile, but it also brought pain to her heart. Would she ever see Myanin again? How long would she be in this stasis? Tenia felt fingers run across her cheek and knew it was Skender touching her. She felt her hand being squeezed by a much smaller one and pictured the worried face of her son. Her stomach clenched as tears ran down her face. Tenia wondered, not for the first time, if death, real death, would be better than being so close to the two males she loved deeply but being unable to reciprocate their affections.
Perhaps this was her punishment for the part she’d played in assisting the Order: to forever hear and feel her son and mate but never be able to reach out to them.
“Patience.”The Great Luna’s voice filled her mind.“It is one of the greatest disciplines a person can learn, and yet it is also one of the most difficult to practice.”
“Why?” Tenia asked. “Why must I be patient? What purpose do I serve simply existing without being able to help others?”
“Sometimes, the answer is simply ‘because I said so’,”the goddess answered.“You are the created, Tenia. I am your creator, and I love you in a way that your finite mind cannot begin to comprehend. It is not for you to know my plans. Simply trust that I always have your best interest at heart.”
Faith, Tenia thought. Her creator was asking for Tenia to exercise faithandpatience. Faith required her to simply believe despite not being able to see the outcome. And patience was only possible if she set her own desires aside and waited for something to happen that was beyond her control. Could she do it? Tenia sighed. “What other choice do I have?” she asked the empty forest around her. There was no response from the Great Luna, though there was a measure of peace that filled her as she accepted her circumstances.
Tenia resumed her place on the bench and focused on the voices outside of her body. Voices that were precious to her. For now, simply hearing them would have to be enough.
ChapterSeven
“So many good things in life start with pain. The birth of a child, getting out of an abusive relationship, going through treatment to recover from an illness, even death. I have experienced so many things that felt like I wouldn’t survive … yet I did. I have learned through the trials that the resulting joy is so much deeper because of the anguish. I must keep reminding myself of this—and those I love—so that we will stay strong through the pain.” ~Jacque
If this is what hell is like, Jacque thought as her body continued to burn,then count me out. She could still hear the voices around her, but she couldn't see anyone.
Jen was pissed as ever. “What is the point of you being a historian if you don’t know a lick of history?”
“He’s doing the best he can, Jen.” Zara’s voice was calm yet sharp. “I don't think your griping is going to make him discover a solution any faster.”
Jacque heard Jen sigh. “I know. It’s just so hard to see her in pain. She’s stopped screaming, but her body is so rigid she looks like she would shatter with even the slightest touch. I just want to do something.”
“We all want to help.” Myanin’s voice broke in. “Sometimes helping is just being present.”
Jacque could imagine the look Jen was giving the djinn, but her friend stayed silent. It had been three days, or that was the last number she’d heard someone mention as her friends, pack, and family attempted to heal her injuries and undo … whatever it was that the werewolf had done to her heart. She was tired, she wanted to hold her son, and she wanted to stare into the blue eyes of her mate. As she thought of those things, she knew the torment she was enduring would eventually pass. And all of her sufferings would be worth the blessings experienced on the other side.
“You will do those things, Luna.”Fane’s voice filled her mind. He’d kept their bond open wide and attempted to take some of her pain away, pulling it into his own body, but Jacque didn’t want him to weaken himself in any way.“Stop worrying about me,”he chastised. An open bond meant no privacy.“The Great Luna will provide the strength I need. You and our son are always my first responsibility, no matter what.”
Jacque wasn’t about to argue with him. She knew it would be pointless. And she didn't have the strength to anyway. So she focused inward on the healers' power she felt streaming into her body. The harder she focused, the more she could see their light, their magic. It moved through her body, healing everything it came in contact with, from the smallest muscle strain to the grisly damage done to her heart. Jacque took a deep breath and realized the burning was beginning to abate.
