“She’s alive,”his wolf said in his mind as he continued to search the woods around them.
“No."
“I know she’s not lost to us.”
"You can’t possibly know that,” Lucian responded. He didn’t want to hear what his wolf had been trying to tell him since Heather had begun visiting him. He didn’t want to think for even a moment that his mate, his female, was still present in this life. Because if he entertained that idea for even a second, and then found out it wasn’t true, he would be destroyed all over again. Only this time, he didn’t think he would be able to control what that devastation would do to him.
“We will wait,”his wolf said.“We waited for her here before, in this very forest, and she came to us. So, we will wait again.”
It amazed him that just the scent of their mate had calmed his wolf to a level that he was willing to simply stay put instead of actively seeking her out as he’d wanted to do before.
“I was wrong. Pursuing her would chase her away. We must let her return to us on her own. She must choose us,”said the wolf.
Lucian refrained from pointing out that she’d already specificallynotchosen them. There was no point in arguing with his beast. He was as stubborn as the human, and more discussion would only serve to frustrate him. Instead, Lucian found a large tree and sat down at the base. He leaned back and stretched his legs out in front of him. His hands rested in his lap, and his head laid back so that it was pressed against the trunk. Then Lucian closed his eyes, and for the first time since the mountaintop, he allowed himself to remember. He thought back to the beginning of their mating when she was so adamant that she wouldn’t accept him as her other half.
“I have asked you politely to stay out of my head,” Peri spoke into the dark room they shared.
Lucian chuckled, letting his voice whisper through her mind. “So telling me to get a damn life and leave you the hell alone is your version of polite?” he asked.
“I didn’t throw anything at you, and I didn’t stab you. So yes, that is my version of polite,” she snapped.
“I don’t know why you are fighting this, Perizada. You are my true mate. You have the other half of my soul, and I have yours.”
“You can keep it. I’ve gotten along fine without it for all this time.”
“I could help you with the nightmares,” he murmured into her mind.
“I don’t think my nightmares are afraid of the big bad wolf—sorry to disappoint.”
“You underestimate the healing power of love. Love mends many things. It could mend the brokenness inside of you.”
“Bloody hell! Did you get that from a Hallmark card?”
Lucian smiled to himself at the memory. She’d fought their bond valiantly, but she’d lost. The mate bond was not something that could be ignored so easily, not even by the great Perizada. There had been a few times that he’d honestly been afraid she would be successful and walk away from him, but ultimately, she’d given in. She’d realized the blessing of having someone to share your burdens with. Peri had decided that being alone, having the so-called freedom she vehemently argued for, wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. He’d been patient with her. Lucian had given her space. He’d given her time to come to terms with the changes she was facing. He wondered now if he had ended up enabling her to believe her own lies. The Great Luna had even visited him to help him understand.
A soothing voice came from behind him. “You are acclimating well to this environment.” He turned and knelt all in one motion, bowing his head to his Creator.
“Great Luna,” he rumbled.
“But for all your acclimation, you hesitate at the door of your true mate. Why?”
Lucian didn’t miss the reprimand in the Great Luna’s voice and fought the urge to cringe at the picture she painted. He, a dominant male, and an Alpha in his own right, stood like a scared pup outside the door of his mate instead of claiming what was his.
“She doesn’t fully understand the bond, and I won’t push her before she is ready,” he explained, and though it made sense to him, it sounded like an excuse as he said it out loud.
“Perhaps you aren’t giving her enough credit. Peri is a strong female, which is why I picked her for you. She has shouldered many burdens and dealt with much evil in her time. I have a feeling she is plenty up to the challenge of an Alpha male werewolf. Stand, Lucian,” she commanded gently.
Lucian rose from his position on the ground and looked at the Great Luna. His eyes met hers briefly but then dropped in humility. He decided to voice what he knew his Creator already knew. “What if she doesn’t want me? What if she doesn’t want the mate bond?”
He felt her hand on his shoulder and her warmth, love, and comfort from that simple touch.
“You aren’t asking the right questions. What you should be asking is what if she does?” She tilted his chin up so that he had to look at her. “I know you were in the dark for a very long time and that has affected the wolf you are, but do not let it affect the man I created you to be. The struggles that you endure in your life can either chip away at the goodness inside of you, or they can cause you to grow stronger, fortifying your character. Don’t let that time in the Dark Forest ruin the good things I have in store for you. Don’t allow yourself to be robbed of joy because of fears that might never come to fruition. I made you, wolf. I have a purpose for you, but I cannot fulfill it. That is something only you can do. I gave you a true mate, and now you must claim her. Love her as she needs, be the servant male that she has never known, and watch the walls that she has built up around herself come crashing down only for you.”
“Ithascome to fruition,” Lucian said as the emptiness of the Dark Forest crept into his soul. He didn’t blame the Great Luna for what happened. It wasn’t the goddess's fault that Peri exercised her free will. He didn’t want Peri’s love if it was forced. He couldn’t imagine anyone wanting a person to love them without choosing to.
He heard Heather’s voice again, but Lucian pushed it away and allowed himself to drift deeper into his mind, letting more memories keep him from having to deal with his current reality.
ChapterFour
