“I’m worried about everything!” she yelled, and it was the final straw for her. The dam that had held everything inside broke, and it all came pouring out. “I’m worried about the fact that I had no problem ripping a woman’s throat out and that I might actually have enjoyed it. I’m worried about my friends, our pack, all the oblivious humans who have no clue about the monsters living in their midst who want to subject them to a life of servitude and injustice because they think they have a right to.
“I’m scared that no matter how hard we fight back we are destined to lose because, let’s face it, B, the good guy doesn’t always win. This isn’t a damn comic book where we kick ass with hilarious words in block letters and emerge victorious. This is real life and real life freaking sucks! I’m afraid that even if we do win, somehow, what kind of world will be left for Thia, Titus, and Slate? What kind of future will they have?
“What happens if humans find out about the supernatural world because of the Order or the war that is about to unfold? Seriously, look how they reacted when women wanted to vote and people of different colors wanted to coexist in peace together as equals. Yeah, neither of those things went over real well if you remember. So honestly, how do you think they’re going to handle it when they find out there are all sorts of different, freaking species out there? Let me tell you how they’re going to respond. They’re going to go batshit crazy. They’re going to start running around yelling, ‘The sky is falling’ and picking up pitchforks and shovels, ready to kill anyone they believe is different than them. It will be absolute chaos.” She was breathing hard when she finished and knew her own eyes were glowing with the emotions of her wolf.
“It’s good to see that you have a lot of faith in the species you grew up knowing,” Decebel said. His eyes were glowing, but they’d softened a bit as he stared at her.
“My lack of faith isbecauseI grew up knowing them,” Jen retorted. “History repeats itself because we tend to be hard-headed in learning our lesson. I have a right to be skeptical that humans can handle the reality of supernatural beings. They may like to read fiction books about them or watch TV shows and movies about them. They may find the idea of them romantic, but I assure you the reality of them wouldn’t go over as well.”
He was quiet for a moment, simply watching her as Jen tried to reassemble her shattered emotions. If she was honest with herself, she’d admit that she felt a little bit better having gotten all that off her chest.
“You know I will never judge you, right?” Decebel asked, breaking the silence. “I won’t poke fun at you or mock you. I don’t want you to ever feel like you can’t talk to me.”
Jen met his eyes, which had finally stopped glowing. “I know that, Dec.” And she did know that. Her mate was not a vindictive person. He did not take pleasure in her failures or her whiplash-causing emotions. “Honestly, I was worried before I killed Stephanie, but adding that to the mix seemed to magnify all the other emotions. You tried to tell me.” Jen sighed. “But I was hell-bent on dealing out justice myself. I just saw her holding Titus and then saw the look on Sally’s face, Dec.” She paused as her voice cracked under the memory. “Sally’s been through enough. And that psycho Order puppet thought she would get away with threatening a pup from our pack, Sally’s pup? I couldn’t let it stand.”
Decebel stepped closer, until the toes of their shoes were touching, and she could feel the heat coming off his body. He cupped her cheek in one of his large, callused hands and tilted her head back a bit so she had to look up at him. “The kill was justified, Jennifer,” he said gently in his rumbly, deep voice. “I wanted to keep you from having to endure these feelings, which is why I said I would handle it, but even if I’d have handled it the outcome would have been the same. She forfeited her life when she touched one of the pack’s pups.”
Jen closed her eyes as she let the truth of his words fill her. He would have done the same thing. He would have put Stephanie down. Why did that give her peace? Why did that ease the guilt just a bit? Maybe because Jen had felt she might have been out of control when she’d killed the she-wolf, and it worried her that it might have skewed her judgment. But if her mate said the kill was justified and he would have done the same thing, then that was enough to help her cope with the decision she’d made.
“Thank you, B,” Jen said as she opened her eyes and looked up at him.
Decebel’s lips turned up ever so slightly as he gave her a small bow of his head. Then he leaned down and pressed his lips firmly to hers.
Jen wrapped her arms around his neck and hoisted herself up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. She couldn’t stop the grin when Decebel groaned as he slid his hands up her thighs and around to her back.
She felt the familiar butterflies she got in her stomach every time Dec touched her as he pulled her tighter against him. When they finally separated, both breathing a little harder, Jen bit the bullet and said what she needed to, what her mate deserved. “I’m sorry for not talking to you about all of this.”
“And for shutting me out?” Decebel asked.
“Yes, and for shutting you out,” Jen agreed.
“And for pushing me away?”
Jen’s brow rose. “Isn’t that the same as shutting you out?”
Decebel shook his head. “I mean when you physically pushed me away the past two mornings.”
“Seriously? I had to pee and you were delaying that. I’m pretty sure me peeing on myself is not one of your fetishes. If I hadn’t pushed you away we would have found out for sure.”
Decebel shrugged. “All I wanted was a kiss. You pushing me away instead of giving me what I wanted just made me want to detain you more.”
“What are you, 13?”
“I’m a male, Jennifer, and I want the attention of my female.” He growled, though humor danced in his amber eyes.
“Alright, fine, you win. Tomorrow morning, I will pee on you to make sure you feel attended to.”
“Always have a reply, don’t you?” He grumbled as he started walking toward the door of the garden room, still holding her in his arms with her legs wrapped around him.
“Where are we going?” Jen asked.
“To relieve Rachel of Thia duty. I need to spend some time with my girls. You’re heading out tomorrow morning. My wolf is already going crazy.”
Jen leaned forward and laid her head against his shoulder as she thought about his words. She hadn’t allowed herself to dwell on the fact that they were going to be separated. Her wolf hated the idea and Jen understood it, but she didn’t like it either.
“I would like it to be noted that being the adults and the good guys and making sacrifices for people who will probably never even know, sucks.” Jen huffed.
“Noted, baby. I will be sure to inform our enemies that you are quite put out with them causing a ruckus and putting us in a situation to have to make these sacrifices,” Decebel said.
