Jen’s head tilted ever so slightly as she narrowed her eyes on Jacque. “Really, though? Really,isit a valid question?” Jen could feel the ever-growing tension that had been building inside of her begin to push against the box in which she managed to force it.
Jacque started to answer her but stopped when Alina held up a hand.
“Alright, not Zara, so it will be Adelina, Carmen, and Daciana who will handle the provisions here. Sally, will you oversee that?” Alina just started talking, completely ignoring the conversation they’d been having.
Sally gave Alina a thumbs up.
Jen looked down at her list and then grinned. “I think I should be in charge of the weapons cache.”
“Do you even know what a cache is?” Jacque asked, her brow raised as she pursed her lips at Jen.
“It’s a stash of stuff, usually cool stuff. No one bothers to stash anything that it isn’t cool. In this case, it’s a stash of things that can maim and kill,” Jen said. “Definitely cool. And we all know I’m good at stashing, maiming, and—” she paused, unable to attach the last verb to herself no matter how true it might be. “So, boom, done deal,” she finished flatly.
Alina laughed, though it sounded forced. “Alright, you can handle that, but you will be working with Cyn. She and Thalion have been creating weapons for the battle against Thalion’s father, but they’re going to donate some to those going to the Den.”
“Deep Keep,” Jen said. “Come on, Luna, you have to call it by its new name or it will never stick.”
“Great Luna forbid that the name of our hideout not stick,” Sally said dryly.
Jen’s head whipped around to the healer. “Don’t get cute. Imagine if your parents had never called you Sally, then your name wouldn’t have taken and where would you be then? Nameless, that’s where. We’d all go around saying, ‘Hey you, without the name’, or ‘Hey, nameless chick’. Is that what you want for our Deep Keep? For it to be the nameless refuge?”
“Ooo, what about the Deep Keep Refuge?” Jacque said, ignoring Jen’s rant.
“That sounds more like the name of a band,” Sally said, also ignoring Jen.
Jen threw her arms up in the air. “It’s the Deep Keep. Get on board or jump from the train before I kick you off.” Harsh? Maybe, but it was better thanactuallykicking them, which she really wanted to do right now.
“Wow,” Jacque chuckled. “You’ve been wound up tight for a couple days now. What’s up?”
It was moments like these when Jen wished her best friends didn’t know her quite so well. “Nothing’s up,” Jen said, deciding suddenly that her shoes were the most interesting thing in the room. “Everything is decidedly down,” Jen mumbled.
She felt a hand run gently down her hair and knew the touch was Alina’s. The Alpha’s scent was unmistakable, as was the caring way in which she comforted. “I think we’ve got everyone assigned. Jacque, why don’t you and Sally go distribute the new assignments to the pack? I’ll call the Serbia mansion and make sure they know what to do and what time to be here tomorrow morning for departure to the Deep Keep.”
All three girls chuckled at Alina’s use of the new name for the pack refuge.
When Jen started to stand, Alina’s hand on her shoulder put gentle pressure, letting her know she didn’t want her to go just yet.
Jen looked at Jacque and Sally as they marched out of the kitchen. “I’ll catch up with y’all later,” she told them.
When they were gone, Alina took the seat across from Jen and met the girl’s eyes. “Are you alright?”
Jen closed her eyes, squeezing them tightly to keep back the tears that wanted to fall. “I think I’m just tired. I haven’t slept well in a couple of nights.”
“Since you put Stephanie down?” Alina asked bluntly.
Jen appreciated that the female Alpha didn’t dance around the topic. Alina just laid it out there for all the world to see. She didn’t like that the woman had hit the proverbial nail on the head. Jen nodded in response.
“I have taken many lives over the course of the centuries, Jen. Some I remember, others I don’t. But I have never, ever forgotten the first time I killed. It was during the werewolf wars. A young male. I did what I had to do at the time. But even now, hundreds of years later, I still see his face at night sometimes when I close my eyes.”
“Does it ever get easier?” Jen asked quietly.
Alina shook her head. “And Vasile and Decebel would tell you the same thing. Taking a life, whether justified or not, is never easy, and it will always affect you. We are created beings, not creators. Because we are not creators, neither are we meant to be destroyers. Itshouldgo against our nature to attempt to uncreate something. Itshouldbe difficult for us to take the breath of life out of a living being. And the day that it no longer affects you is the day you need to take a long look at yourself and the condition of your soul.” Alina stood and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the top of Jen’s head. “Stop hiding this from your mate,” the alpha female chided.
Jen’s eyes widened as she looked up at the older female. “How?”
There was a sparkle to Alina’s eyes when she answered. “You are still so young, so headstrong. How quickly you forget one of the main reasons we have mates is so we might bear one another’s burdens. You wouldn’t be this eaten up over your actions if you’d have talked to your mate about the situation.”
Jen looked at Alina with wide eyes.
