“It’s not something I allow myself to dwell on,” Costinsaid.
“I’m sure you don’t, but for this lesson I need you to think about those feelings. Think about how you felt when your mind conjured up those fears. Remember how the pain and shame from it threatened to rip you in two. Remember how you felt undeserving of your mate, regardless of the fact that none of those things you saw or experienced actually happened. Comparing your feelings to what Sally is experiencing is like comparing a paper cut to third degree burns. But…” He held up a finger. “It should allow you to have a tiny taste of what your mate is enduring.” Decebel let out a resigned sigh beforecontinuing.
“I never thought I’d see the day that I’d have to order a true mate to fight for his female.” Decebel narrowed his eyes on his Beta and friend. “Costin Miklos.” The power that came with being Alpha surged forward into his words as he spoke. “You will return to your mate. You will set aside any doubts, any fears, any anger you may have, and stand by her side, where you belong, until she is through this dark time. You’re scared of losing her, and we understand that, but running from her isn’t going to help you keep her. You need to fight for your mate. Fight for your relationship, because if you don’t, then Jeremiah and The Order win. Regardless of whether they were able to keep Sally under their thumb, if you let this destroy your marriage, then they win. You will dothis.”
Costin bared his neck to Decebel. “Yes, Alpha.” He paused and then met Decebel’s eyes for a couple of seconds before dropping them. “What if Ifail?”
“You won’t. Failure isn’t an option when it comes to our mates. Suck it up, Costin. You were created for her and she for you. Start acting likeit.”
* * *
Costin shutthe door of their suite quietly and walked to the bathroom. There were no lights on, but with his wolf’s sight he had no trouble seeing. He needed a shower before he went to hismate.
His Alpha was right and, even without the Alpha command, Costin would have returned to her prepared to fight for what was his. He was hurt. He was lonely. He was terrified. But he wouldn’t lose her, not even to a memory. His Alpha had been right to remind him of the In Between, though it sucked dragon balls to think about. He did remember how he’d felt. He had thought himself unworthy of Sally in every way. It made him nauseous to think that she now thought herself unworthy ofhim.
The water rushed over his body, washing away the dirt and sweat. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it soothe him and cleanse him. He needed to remember who he was when she met him, confident and sure of himself. He had every right to be close to her, to talk to her and have her talk to him, to touch her. She needed him desperately, and she didn’t even realize it, but that was going to change. Sally was about to get what she deserved, a mate who would show her how much he loved her, wanted her, and was prepared to fight forher.
He dressed quietly and then stepped into their bedroom to find her sleeping more peacefully than she had in days. She looked serene. His hands itched to caress her skin and tunnel through her hair. His body ached to be close to hers, fitting her against him where she belonged. It had been days since he’d felt her, and he was donewaiting.
He walked purposefully to his side of the bed and pulled back the covers. Without pause, he climbed in and slid closer to her, rolling onto his side. Costin wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back against him. Before everything had happened, they’d slept like this, every night. He felt his wolf settle for the first time in days as he let the heat from Sally’s body seep into his. He had to convince her that this togetherness would get them through this troubled time. They needed to stand beside each other, lean on each other, and love each other. That would get them through all the pain and sorrow, and he knew they’d come out whole on the other side. But he had no idea what he could do, short of tying their waiststogether.
He knew he should sleep, but he didn’t want to. He was afraid to miss a moment of finally having her back in his arms. She started to shift, and he wondered if she was waking up, but she simply rolled over and moved closer to him. She buried her face in his neck and let out a contented sigh. He held the other half of her soul. And he knew it was her soul that was reaching out to him in that moment. It was reaching for comfort, acceptance, andsafety.
“I’ve got you, Sally mine. I’ve got you, and I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered into herhair.
“Don’t give up on us.”Her voice spoke into his mind, and he knew it was her soul speaking tohis.
“Never,”hepromised.
When the sun began to rise and his mate started squirming restlessly, Costin debated whether he should let her go and give her some space or keep holding her. To be completely honest, he was sick of space between them. He wanted her to crowd him. He stayed right where he was. Her legs had tangled with his sometime in the night, and half of her body was laying across him. It would take a thousand wolves to move him from that spot in that moment. He didn’t even think his wolf would obey an Alpha command to move. He pulled her tighter against him and rubbed his hands down her back and up again. He wanted to touch so much more of her, and he wanted it to be skin on skin, but he wouldn’t push her to be intimate with him now. He didn’t want to scare her. However, he wasn’t going to allow her to push him away anylonger.
“Costin?” Sally’s tired voice broke through histhoughts.
He tensed as she started to pull away from him. “No, Sally, I’m not letting go.” His voice was firm, and his wolf was pushing forward, eager to help him make herunderstand.
“You shouldn’t touch me,” she said, not raising her head to look at him but looking down in a submissive manner. “Youcan’t.”
“Yes, I can.” He cut her off. “I am your mate. I love you. I am not going to hurt you. I am not ever going to stop wanting you. I cannot let you go, not even if you believe that’s the best thing for us. I cannot continue to let you push me away. I’m done, Sally mine.” He placed a finger under her chin and forced her head up until he could see her eyes. “Listen to me and listen good. We are going to get through this, but we are going to do it together. You are no longer going to withhold your touch from me or keep me from touching you. We need that touch. My wolf is desperate for your skin to be in contact with mine. You are going to talk to me and let me back in.” He gently tapped her forehead. “The monster who hurt you is dead, and if we let this tear us apart, they win.” He repeated Decebel’s words and felt with more conviction that his Alpha wasright.
“Tell me again.” Sally said the words she’d said to him their first night back from Ocean Side. She’d allowed him to make love to her, and then he’d told her over and over how much he loved her and how much she meant to him. Costin had said he would tell her all day, every day, if that was what sheneeded.
“I love you. You are mine. You are precious. You are beautiful inside and out. I need you desperately. Every part of me, from my physical body to my soul, is aching foryou.”
A sob broke loose from her as the tears that had been gathering in her eyes began to fall. “Again,” shesaid.
He felt her mind open, and the bond between them was complete again. He reached for the intimacy of speaking to her through their bond instead of saying it out loud.“I love you, Sally.”His voice was even deeper as he spoke into her mind.“You are a treasure I don’t deserve, but I’m too selfish to give you up. You give my life so much meaning and light. Even now your light is reaching into me to keep my darkness at bay. You are mine. Say it.”Hegrowled.
“I am yours,” she said through hertears.
“Again,” hesaid.
“I amyours.”
“You’re damn right you are,” he said before leaning his head down and pressing his lips to hers. He wanted to take the kiss deeper, to push her onto her back and blanket her body with his own. But he could feel she was conceding, and he didn’t want to push toohard.
Her cheeks were flushed when he pulled back, and her lips swollen from the force of hiskiss.
“You want me?” sheasked.
