It’s him.
It’s Shadow.
I flip the dead bolt and open the door with shaking hands.
I see him, and everything inside me crumples. No, scratch that. My knees actually give out. I tumble to the floor, still holding the towel in my hands that I used in the bathroom for my floor nap.
“Violet, what the fuck.” He rushes inside, slamming the door behind him.
“I’m okay,” I croak out, but even I don’t believe me.
He has two big market bags in his hands, and I have to laugh at the colorful floral designs printed on them.
“What is… What are you… Oh no. Can you help me up? Hurry, Shadow. I need to?—”
Yeah, I don’t make it. Lying right on the floor of my living room, while the sexiest man and the father of my baby, whom I haven’t seen or heard from for the last month, is kneeling beside me, I heave right into the towel I was holding.
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, but he doesn’t sound disgusted. He holds the long locks of my hair away from my face and puts a hand on my back. “Sweetheart, what’s going on?”
I hold up a finger, grateful for a second that he’s probably held back the hair of a puking woman many, many times in his life. This can’t be that big of a deal, so I’m gonna do my best to treat it that way too.
“It’s just food poisoning,” I gasp between heaves. “You can’t catch it. I’ll be okay.” I try waving him away, but he just comes closer. I smell the familiar scent of him, and something deep inside my chest tightens.
God, I missed him. I missed this. I cannot believe he is here.
He slides his hands under my knees and picks me up in his arms. “Bedroom or bathroom?”
I can’t even hold up my own head. As soon as I feel his heat beneath me, I literally sag against him. “I have a bucket in my bedroom, and I’ve been sleeping on the floor of the bathroom, so your choice. They’re all the same to me now.”
I’m so weak. I can’t hide it. Can’t even pretend. I just let myself be weak in his arms. I close my eyes and thank my lucky stars he’s here.
He walks toward the back of the condo, noting where the bathroom is, but opting instead to take me to my bed.
“I made tea in the kitchen,” I say weakly. “You can drink it. I don’t know if I have much else in the house.”
“I’m not drinking your damn tea, but I think you should,” he says. He sets me on the bed and holds my face in his hands. “How long have you been like this?”
I change the subject. “Can’t talk. Can I lie down? Why are you here?”
He smooths the hair back from my face and tucks the covers over me. He sits on the edge of the bed and studies me. “I brought you sick-person food.”
I smile weakly. “Sick-person food sounds good. What’s up with those bags? I didn’t figure you were the van Gogh flowers type. But I guess we never really made it to a supermarket, did we?”
The corner of his mouth ticks up, and he shakes his head. “Stella. They’re hers. She says hi, by the way. The girls miss you.”
That gets me. That really, really gets me. A sob chokes its way up my throat, and tears sting my eyes. “I miss them too,” I whisper. “I’m so, so tired, Shadow. I’ve been so sick…”
“I know, sweetheart. I’m going to take care of you.” He strokes my head.
“Mmm-hmm,” I mumble, knowing that he’s here and that I’m not alone.
I won’t tell him about the baby. Not now. I need time to process this news for myself. I need time to figure out why he came. What he wants. If this is the last time I’ll ever see him—or if maybe he missed me too.
I remember how much it hurt leaving him that last day at the compound. It seemed irrational at the time—missing someone I’d only known three days—but seeing him here now, it all comes back to me. It’s like no time has even passed. I fell in love with Shadow. And even if it makes no sense and can’t be real, can’t last, being with him was the happiest I’ve ever been. The best time I’ve ever had. And the only true home I’ve ever felt as an adult.
For tonight, at least, I need that from him. And with everything that’s going to be ahead of me, it doesn’t even feel selfish to take it.
He turns off the lights, kicks off his boots, and sits beside me on the bed, stroking my hair until I fall into a blissful, peaceful sleep.
