I grumble under my breath, hating everything about the conversation today. No one’s ready to talk about their parents’ mortality, even though we’re all going to face it someday.
“Oliver, you’re going to be executor.”
“What the hell?” Liam asks, lifting his arms wide. “Why not me?”
“Baby, you’re still going to get half of everything, but Oliver will have to do all the paperwork. Would you rather have to do the paperwork?”
My brother drops his arms back down. “No.”
Mom’s smooth. She knew exactly what to say to calm my brother down. “I didn’t think so,” she says.
“Randall and I are leaving everything to you two, and there’s a lot. Between the house, the cars, the accounts, it’s well over a couple million dollars in assets.”
Liam nearly swallows his tongue at that figure. As soon as he has money in his hands, he spends it. He’s never had more than a few thousand in an account and probably never will, especially with Sharla around.
“I’d rather have you than the money, Ma,” I say to her.
“Me too,” Liam says, and there’s sincerity in his voice, which shocks me.
“Randall thinks of you two as his boys, and since he’s not close with anyone else in his family and I’m not close with anyone else in mine, it’ll all go to you two.”
“Thanks, Ma,” Liam says.
She pins him with a stare. “Do not spend it all on ass and tits either. We worked too hard for that money for it to go into some woman’s G-string.”
I burst into laughter. She knows her son. There’s no denying what kind of human he is since she breathed life into him.
“Damn, Ma.”
“Don’t damn, Ma me. I know what you do. Boyhas been led around by his dick since the moment he realized he had one.”
“I won’t spend it on tits and ass,” he grumbles. “I’ll save it.”
“Liar,” she mutters and shakes her head. “Buy yourself a house or something.”
“I plan to do that way before you die.”
“I like to hear that. I’d like to be a grandmother before I go. Can one of you make that happen?” She shifts her stare between the two of us, waiting for a response.
“I’m not ready to be a dad,” Liam tells her, speaking the truth. The man is barely a grown-up most days, and there’s no way he could be responsible for a tiny human when he’s barely responsible for himself.
“I have to marry the girl before we have a baby,” I say to her.
“No, you don’t.”
“I do, Ma.” I shake my head. “I want to enjoy my wife a little while before we start a family.”
“Well, put a ring on it quick and get toenjoyingher. That’s how babies are made.”
“You don’t say,” I tease her, smiling at her as my phone rings. I glance down, and it’s the business line. “I’ve got to go.”
Liam’s eyes dip to my phone. “Want me to grab it?”
I shake my head. “I don’t have shit to do for awhile. I got this one,” I tell him as I stand up, putting the phone to my ear. “Hello.”
“Bye, baby,” Mom whispers, pulling me down by my arm to kiss my cheek.
“Bye, Mom,” I mouth back. “How can I help you?” The lady on the other end explains her problem and location as I make my way outside to my truck. “I’ll be there in twenty.”
