“I know. I know. He sounds like the total package, but he’s still single, and at our age, that means something is wrong.”
Mikayla smacks my hand this time. “Bitch, we’re all single. There’s nothing wrong with us.”
“Lala, you are kind of a nympho,” Sandy tells her, lifting her hands. “That’s a hard sell when it comes to being wife material.”
“What man wouldn’t want a woman who wants to have sex every single day?” she asks Sandy.
“Clearly, they’re not trampling each other to make it happen,” Sandy replies.
“What about you?” Mikayla says back to Sandy. “You’re a clean freak and scare off every man who isn’t as tidy as you.”
“I like things how I like things.” Sandy shrugs. “I won’t live in filth just to have a ring on my finger. I’m picky.”
Mikayla rolls her eyes. “You wash your sheets every day.”
Sandy tilts her head, giving Mikayla a pointed stare. “And?”
“It’s not normal,” Mikayla replies.
“It’s my normal.” Sandy gives Mikayla the middle finger before grabbing her coffee, trying not to get into her obsessive need to clean. “I’m not forcing you to wash your sheets every day.”
“If mine make it into the washing machine once every two weeks, it’s a miracle,” Mikayla tells her.
Sandy wrinkles her nose. “That’s gross.”
“You two are something else,” I say.
“How often do you wash your sheets?” Sandy asks, wanting my vindication.
“Every weekend.”
“That’s normal,” Mikayla says, “and impressive.”
“Maybe Mr. Romeo doesn’t wash his sheets ever, and that’s why he hasn’t found a wife,” Sandy explains. “Any sane woman would run the other way after getting one whiff.”
“His name is Brax,” I correct her.
“Brax doesn’t look smelly,” she says as she enlarges his picture standing behind the bar, because she never scrolled away from it. “Does he?” That question is pointed at Mikayla.
Mikayla leans over, glancing down at the photo. “No. He looks like he’d wake up smelling like pine and man.”
I roll my eyes. “What is wrong with you?”
“Too many things to get into right now.” Mikayla winks at me. “But there are some guys who look smelly and are smelly. You know what I mean?”
“No.” My friends are so damn quirky, and I love them for it most times, but this isn’t one of them.
“Totally like pine and man. Maybe with a hint of bourbon too,” Sandy adds, ignoring me.
“I’m going to smell him on Friday,” Mikayla says. “But I’ll be quick so he doesn’t notice I’m doing it.”
“Jesus,” I mutter, resting my forehead in my hand, wishing I could take back agreeing to go back to the bar to see him. “You two are crazier than I ever realized.”
“You have no idea,” Sandy says, giving me a cute little wink when I lift my head and look in her direction. “But you will.”
5
BRAX
