“Always,” she whispers, giving me the sweetest smile.
I lean over to give Maddox a kiss, and when I plant one on her, she doesn’t throw me a sweet smile like Hazel. She also doesn’t tell me to fuck off, so it’s progress.
“See you girls in the morning. I love you.”
“Love you too, Daddy,” Hazel replies.
“Bye,” Maddox says, which, again, is better than telling me to kick rocks.
I give my mother a kiss on the cheek and then head for the door, trying to leave all the stress of the day behind me.
* * *
“Hey, handsome. How can I make you feel good tonight?” Daisy, a regular at the bar, asks, sliding her hand across my shoulders and tracing the lines of my muscles with her fingertips.
“Nothing, Daisy. I’m good,” I tell her, wanting to be kind to her but not wanting to sleep with her. She’s not a bad person and she’s pretty, but she’s been ridden more times than the El.
“Come on, Wylder. Take Daisy for a ride,” Shadow tells me as his hungry eyes travel down her body. “You’re wound tighter than a roll of duct tape.”
I stare at him, wondering how his brain works. “Why don’t you? I think you could use it more than me.”
“I’m game,” Daisy says, not giving two single shits who gets her off, as long as it happens.
Shadow stands, taking Daisy’s hand when she stretches her arm out. “What are you going to do, brother?”
“I’m going to go home and crash. It was a long day.”
Shadow’s face scrunches in disgust, or maybe it’s disappointment. “Man, you sure as hell got old in a hurry. I never thought I’d see the day when my little brother grew into an old fucking person before I did.”
I can’t argue with him. I’ve been feeling like I’m a million years old lately. Being a single father isn’t easy, and finding the right balance between work, family, and having a personal life is a challenge. I still haven’t figured it out, and it’s been over four years since Katie walked out the door on me and the girls.
“I won’t always be like this.”
“No. You’ll only get older. Time’s passing you by, Wylder.”
I chew on that statement. I am wasting the best years of my life avoiding anything that may end in the same deceit as my marriage.
What am I doing?
Is my mom right? Do the girls need a woman in their life as much as I do? Is my decision to stay single because I’m too scared, or because I’m trying to protect them?
“Later, Gramps,” Shadow says, slapping my shoulder before he stalks away with a very scantily clad Daisy.
I sit there for a moment, turning the beer bottle in my hand, thinking about the future. It’s time for me to move forward, but I feel frozen.
I’ve sulked for way too long about the way my marriage ended, and I am bitter about the entire thing. I never thought Katie would cheat on me and be willing to move across the country, leaving us all behind.
Move on, Wylder.
I’m not in love with Katie anymore either. Even if she showed up on my doorstep, begging to come back, I’d slam the door right in her face.
All the feelings I’d had for her had faded away a long time ago. I am angry and bitter for the girls, not myself. They are the innocents in this, and they know their mother left them to start another family with someone else. She deserves to step on a Lego every single day to feel a small portion of the pain she inflicted on our girls and continues to do so.
“Wylder, get your ass over here,” Thumper calls out across the bar as I stand to leave.
“Shit,” I mutter under my breath.
“Hey,” I say, giving him the standard chin lift. “What’s up? I was just about to dip.”
