“Good,” he says. “She’s a fucking genius with spreadsheets and shit. Honestly, babe, I should have asked for help years ago. I feel like an asshole, seeing how much she got done in only one morning. One fucking morning.”
“Old dogs can learn new tricks,” I say, stepping off the curb as my rideshare shows up.
“Yeah, but this old dog is younger than you, babe,” he reminds me.
“We going there?” I ask him.
“I am completely, totally, head over heels excited about having you in every way possible,” he croons, his voice curling around my ears like a song. “When you coming home, babe? I miss you already.”
“A week,” I tell him. “I don’t think I’ll need much longer.”
“Send me nudes every night to hold me over?” he asks.
I burst out laughing and wave at the rideshare driver who looks up at me in the rearview mirror. “I have to go,” I tell Benny. “But I will send what you asked for.”
“Yesss,” he hisses. “I knew I loved you. Bye, babe.”
“Bye, Benny.”
As I end the call, I look behind us at the enormous faded sign for Pancake Circus as it grows smaller the farther away we drive. Then I look out the window, settling back in my seat. This driver is a lot chattier than the last.
“Did you go to the Kincades’ fundraiser?” the woman asks. “Terrible tragedy. Such a good family.”
I nod. “It is, and yes,” I say. “They are a good family. The very best.”
I stare out the window the rest of the way to my hotel. Unlike most trips I take, I’m not chatting up the driver. Not anxious to learn about the local food scene, the cuisine, the weather. Mymind is on other places. Like the place I’m going to start calling home.
Five days later,I hug Jessa goodbye from the ottoman where I’ve been sitting with her since I arrived. I place a hand on her belly and wish the little guy a long and happy stay in his mama’s belly.
“I’m so glad you visited,” Jessa says, tears already falling down her cheeks. “God, I wish you could stay. I’ll give you half this kid. We can be like those friends who adopt a baby and raise it together. Co-parents.”
I wipe the tears from my cheeks and then hand her a tissue. “I would,” I tell her. “In fact, if you’d asked me six months ago, I might have even said yes.”
“Damn that sexy chef who stole your heart. Platonic co-parent homewrecker, that’s what he is.” Jessa rubs a hand over her belly. “You could have all this,” she says wistfully. “Diaper blowouts and spit-up. Instead, you chose orgasms and great food. I just don’t get it.”
“Come visit me?” I ask her. “I know it will be hard with the baby, but I don’t want to lose touch.”
I’m getting emotional now. So much is changing so fast, not only in my life, but in Jessa’s.
“How the hell would we lose touch? Our whole friendship, except for the one year you lived here, has happened over video. You think I’m going to forget how to video chat once I have a kid?” She pushes her long, dark hair back from her face. I’ve been washing it in a basin every day since I arrived because she really struggles to get up and stand in the shower. I’ve done so much to take care of her while I’ve been visiting, but now thatI’m leaving, I realize how much she won’t have and will have to do without when I’m gone. I think about all the millions of moments I’ve lost not being physically present with the people I love, always on the road, always moving on to the next adventure.
“I’ll come visit you too,” I tell her. “You’re a priority, and I want this baby to know who his other mother is.”
“Oh no.” Jessa shakes her head. “Your co-parental rights have already been terminated. You get to be the cool aunt, though.”
“I can handle that.”
Jessa’s mom comes in to let me know the car is here to take me to the airport. I kneel on the carpet and wrap my arms around Jessa. “I love you,” I tell her through tears. “And I’m so happy for you. You’re the best mom and the best friend.”
“I’m so proud of you,” Jessa whispers through her tears. “You are settling down, but you’re not settling, Willow. I think you’re finally making your own happy ending.” She releases me and pats her belly. “I made mine. Now go on and get yours. And video chat me when you get to Chicago.”
I kiss her, hug her two more times, and make Jessa’s mom promise to call me the minute she goes into labor. Then I climb into another car and head to yet another airport. I’m off to try to convince Theresa and Rosemarie Ginetti to let me take the biggest risk of my career yet.
20
BENITO
One year later…
