“Maybe it’s more than that.” My mind drifts to the Pancake Circus family. I’ve been giving the whole situation a ton of thought. I should say I’ve been spiraling about this all damn day.
I just cannot imagine why they would back out, but the longer I think about it, the more I realize there are things that I need to know, need to do. I cannot let this go into litigation. There has to be a way to work out whatever it is that’s happening. I wish, more than anything, that Audrina would have picked up the phone, and taken my call. I tried to do exactly what I’m telling Benny to do. I’m sure it’ll work since it’s not like Mags won’t speak to him. She just didn’t answer his call today.
“You never really know what’s going on with someone,” I remind him. “Sometimes you have to ask. But if you do ask, you have to be ready to deal with whatever the answer is.”
He kisses the top of my head and doesn’t say anything.
I shift slightly so I can meet his eyes. “Is it money?” I ask. “Do you think this has anything to do with the grant?” I feel a little sick at the question.
I believe the grant is important to Mags. Important enough that she came to the SBA meeting. She met with me separately at the restaurant to talk about it. I haven’t done a lot of talking with Benny, despite all the fucking we’ve done, but I don’t get the sense he’s even half as interested in the grant as Mags seems to be.
Benny shrugs. “I wish I knew what she wants. I don’t have a fucking clue.” His handsome face grows dark, and he nods at me. “What about you? How’s Pancake Circus treating you?”
Now, it’s my turn to sigh. “Not a whole lot better than you’re doing.”
Benny wraps his arms around me and holds me tight against his chest. “Want to talk about it?”
His voice purrs against my ear, and I think about it. I really do. But if I tell him there’s a chance this deal won’t go through,that I’ll get pulled out of Star Falls… I know this is a no-strings situation. I know we’ve only been hooking up for three weeks. I know all of that. But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to give him up. I want him for as long as I can have this. And when I can’t, well, then it will be time to deal with goodbyes. But nothing puts a damper on short-term fun like long-term realities.
“You know what I’d like more?” I ask, turning around and kneeling between his legs. “I’d like you to fuck me until I forget I even have a job.”
His brown eyes sparkle, and the corner of his mouth curls up in a seductive grin. “I never knew that was an option. New achievement unlocked.”
“It’s not an achievement until you do it,” I remind him.
He puts his hands on either side of my face and leans forward. When his lips touch mine, I let myself go, lose myself in the heat and delicious sweetness of his full lips, the scrape of the stubble on his chin against mine. I open my mouth to kiss him, and his tongue sweeps against mine.
“Willow,” he groans against my mouth. “I want to fuck you so many ways I can’t decide where to start.”
I pull back from the kiss and settle on my belly between his legs. “Think about it,” I tease, pressing my lips to the head of his cock. “I’ll keep myself busy until you decide.”
I grip the base of his cock in one hand and suck his head into my mouth. I swirl my tongue around every tender inch of skin, paying special attention to the underside of his shaft. I suck him in deeper, licking and sucking, my hand sliding up and down his shaft. I pull my mouth back to take a deep breath of air and lick my palm so it slides against his erection without any friction. He gasps, his hips bucking, and I take him deep into my mouth again until he laces his hands through my hair and gently tugs.
“Up here,” he demands. “I want you to fuck me.”
He rests his head back against my headboard, and I straddle his hips. Bracing my hands on his shoulders, I don’t slide onto him, but sit on his thighs. I reach for the bedside table and open a drawer, only to come up with a completely empty box of condoms.
“Uh-oh,” I say, shaking the empty box. “Small problem.”
Benny groans. “I have some at my place…”
I think for a moment. This is the worst possible time to have this conversation, or maybe it’s the best?
“Should we talk about going without?” I ask him. “I have been on the birth control pill for two years to help with my fluctuating hormones. Aging is a bitch. I get tested every year when I have my annual physical, and I haven’t gone without a condom in a long-ass time. Is it something we should consider?”
“I’m good with the birth control pills, but babe, why are you testing your hormones?”
I shake my head. “Benny, I’m forty-two. Will be forty-three this summer and it’s not uncommon to start menopause at my age.”
His eyes widen, and then a slow grin covers his face. “You’re forty-two?” he asks, sounding incredulous. “Forty-two? As in forty-two whole-ass years old?”
I climb off his lap and give him a look. “Why? Does it matter? How old did you think I was?”
He reaches for me and pulls me closer. “Willow, you look…I don’t know, mid-thirties.”
“Forty-two isn’t young, but it isn’t old,” I insist.
He holds up his hands. “It isn’t. I get it, but you’re older than me by a lot.”
