Her eyes are red, but she’s not crying. Pops grabs the food from Ma and says, “I’ll walk you to your truck.”
I don’t argue but stop to kiss my mother goodbye before heading to the door, putting on my shoes, and grabbing my keys. Pops is right on my heels, and he goes around the passenger side to put the food on the seat next to my gym bag.
Then he comes around to the driver’s side. “This is always your home. You don’t need to call.”
I nod. “Tell Ma to stock up on bleach,” I say, managing a grin. “If I see any more than what I did today, I’m going to need to bleach my eyes.”
Pops lightly slaps my chest with the back of his hand, then tugs me close for a hug. He watches from the driveway, and I see Ma standing at the door holding the front of her robe closed, waving as I drive away.
I turn the tunes back on, drown out my thoughts and worries, and focus on driving.
I’m almost home.
* * *
When I getto Eden’s, Shirley’s car is gone, and the house looks empty. I shoot Sassy a text to see what’s up, and she replies back with two messages—one text and a picture.
Sassy: Took Junie to the park. Be back later.
I realize as soon as I let myself into the quiet house how much I was hoping to see Juniper. Somehow seeing her innocent, sweet face and dropping down to play with blocks or a playset would do my heart some good.
Since Juniper’s at the park and Eden is at work, I shoot a text back to Sassy.
Me: I let myself in, Sass. I’m at Eden’s house. Going to catch some sleep till you’re back.
I put the leftovers from Ma away in the kitchen and head upstairs to Eden’s bedroom and change from my jeans into pajama pants and a T-shirt. I climb under the covers and take a picture of my face against her pillows and shoot off a quick text to Eden.
Me: Rough call at work. I came here instead of my parents’. I needed to be close to you, even if you’re not here. Love you. Have a good day, babe.
I click send on both the text and the picture, then I get up and close the door and draw the curtains. It’s still really bright in here, so I grab a blanket from the foot of the bed and hang it over the curtain rod to dampen more of the daylight.
Once it’s dark and quiet, I climb under the covers and put a pillow over my head. I block out all the light and sound and just breathe. I say a prayer for the people whose lives were lost last night. For the guys on my crew. For everyone I love. I breathe deep and catch the light fragrance of Eden’s shampoo. The scent of her hair. The familiar smells comfort me, and I close my eyes. Before I know it, I give in to dreamless sleep.
* * *
When I wake up,I know immediately that I’m not in my small bed back at my parents’. The super-soft sheets and comforter remind me that even though I can’t see for shit, I’m at Eden’s.
I toss back the blankets and stumble into the attached bathroom. When I click on the light, I see how puffy my eyes are. I splash some cold water on my face and brush my teeth because my mouth feels like a wasteland.
I see a pencil skirt, a pair of hose, and a white blouse neatly resting on the side of the bathtub, which means Eden must have come home and changed, and I didn’t hear a thing.
I’m still in pajamas, but I don’t bother changing.
I check my phone and see that it’s after six. I have messages from my parents, two from Franco, and even one from Benito.
Word travels fast through the Bianchi family. Ma must have told them I had a rough day.
I don’t, however, have any messages from Eden.
I wiggle my toes into my house slippers and head toward the stairs. When I reach the landing, I see Eden holding Juniper. They are swaying in front of the television, which is on at a very low volume. I can hear Eden and Junie quietly singing along with an animated kids movie.
I just stand there for a minute watching them.
Eden’s long, soft hair sweeps her back as she sways. She kisses Junie’s cheeks as they watch the show and sing. I can’t believe how quiet the volume is, but I’m sure they don’t need to hear it to know the words.
Watching them like this, I am overcome by the need to rush down the stairs. To crush them in my arms and keep them close. I want them in my home, in my arms, and in my heart always.
I was right to come here instead of staying at my parents’.
