“You’re such a liar.” I swat him with a dish towel and kiss Chloe on the cheek. “Go. Love you both.”
Once they’re gone, I lose myself in washing the dishes, but quickly, my mind drifts to Ryder, and then goes even further back.
I start to think about Levi.
Leviticus Olson. The worst mistake I ever made. The last guy I dated. It’s been over a year since we broke up… God, if you can even call it that. We didn’t even really date—at least not as far as he’s concerned. A fling, a hookup—that’s what it really was. A couple weeks-long flirtation that ended in a colossal ghosting.
I wonder if Ryder’s ever ghosted anyone. If he’d do what Levi did. My cheeks burn with shame at the memories. Just thinking about it is enough to send me back to my room to swear off men forever.
“Sweetheart?” I feel Ma’s hand on my shoulder, and I sigh.
“I got this. Go have a drink in the yard with Pops. It’s a beautiful night.”
“I know it’s a beautiful night.” Ma strokes my hair with a hand, scratching her nails lightly against my back. “I want to spend time with my baby girl. Is that okay?”
I nod and turn on the faucet, letting hot water wash away the suds I’ve made. “Yeah,” I say softly. “Of course, it’s okay.”
Ma stands beside me and takes a towel. She dries the glass dish and sets it on the counter. I can smell her distinctive perfume, and I’m overcome with emotion.
This is my world.
My mother.
My home.
I can’t imagine what life is like for Cora and Luke. Not having a mother. Not having a big family always around.
Yes, sometimes we’re all way too close for comfort. But I’ve been so loved my entire life. I’ve never gone a day without talking to my mom, texting her a hundred times even though we live under the same roof. I can’t imagine a life where I didn’t have Lucia Bianchi as my North Star. Can’t imagine never knowing her as a person, as an adult with a personality and interests and plans.
“You’ve been awfully quiet tonight.” My mom clangs a cabinet door that’s loose on its hinge as she puts away the dry dish. She curses under her breath, a mom-style curse. “Shiitake mushrooms. I’ve asked Vito ten times to repair that door. You’d think the man could find the time to squirt a little lube on it and find a screwdriver or something. Sometimes I don’t know about that brother of yours.”
“They’re all idiots,” I say.
“Yes,” Ma laughs, “but they’re our idiots.”
It’s an inside joke we’ve shared since I was a teenager, the youngest of four and the only girl.
We keep washing dishes until they’re all done and the sun streaks pink through the kitchen window.
“Lucia!” Dad shouts from the living room. “Should I turn off the air? It’s supposed to cool down tonight.”
My mom lifts a brow and shouts back. “Your call, babe!” Then she turns to me and kisses me on the cheek. She grows serious and pets my hair. I close my eyes and savor her soothing touch.
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right? Anything, Gracie.”
I swallow back the guilt and the shame. Maybe now is the time. Get this off my chest. Explain what really happened and what might happen next.
“I… Ma, I…”
“Lucia. Grab the wine and come outside. This sunset’s going to be gorgeous.”
My mom doesn’t seem to want to leave me. It’s like she senses I’m close to opening up. She cups my cheek with a hand. “You want to come watch the sunset?” she asks. “I bought new citronella candles. Maybe we won’t get eaten alive by mosquitos this time.”
I shake my head. “I’m good, Mom. I’m going to run out for a bit.”
She looks like she’s going to ask where I’m going, but then she stops herself. She looks me square in the eyes and just smiles. “I love you, sweet girl. And I’m proud of you. You know that, right?”
I wrap my arms around my mom and hold her close.
