“You’re a buttinski, and I love you.” I lean down to kiss my mother’s cheek. “What’s up with the lipstick? It’s different, but I like it.”
She scowls and raises one of those brows at me dramatically. She shakes her head as she sighs. “Carol. That woman. I wish she’d just get over things with Earl and at least go back to work at Easy Start. She’s doing everything she can to make some money for herself, including selling this makeup now. She did makeovers on all us girls.” Ma cups her belly as she laughs. “Wait till you see Sassy. Carol tried to get all of us to do this dewy, natural look the kids are doing. We all looked like we were sweating. And these stripes on the nose the girls are doing now?” Ma takes two fingers and pretends to draw lines on either side of her nose. “Have you seen that? Like I want to change the shape of this schnoz at my age? What’s a little brown stuff gonna do? Anybody within a mile would see me and this thing coming. Why would I spend an hour dab-dab-dabbing all around my nose?”
I laugh. “I think that’s called contouring, Ma.”
“Contour, schmontour. I bought some of the crap she’s selling just to support her, but this—” she points to her lips “—this tiger won’t be changing the color of her stripes for very long.”
We laugh, but then I grow serious. “So, are you saying you think Carol should get back with Earl? I thought she was off on some new path with Ray?”
“Well, I was talking about her job, specifically,” my mom says. “I have opinions about the situation with Earl.”
I cross my arms over my chest, bracing myself for Ma’s opinions, but she suddenly goes silent. “Ma?” I urge, lifting my brows at her. “You said you have opinions?”
“Son, you know how I feel about divorce.”
“Necessary evil.” I’m well aware of the fact that Ma takes her wedding vows seriously, and that she feels others should as well. But when the circumstances are harmful, she’s fully in support of people doing what they need to be safe. Happiness, though, is another story.
She nods. “I’ve started to consider other perspectives,” she says. “You know I love Earl. He’s a good man, and he loves Carol and Jack. Has always been a good provider. As far as I know, and I think I would know—Carol doesn’t have a private bone in her body—he’s never been unfaithful.”
I nod, wondering where this is going. I know Earl is a good man and my mother is a good woman. If she’s changing her perspective on marriage, I’m curious to see how. And even more curious to know why.
She looks at me with a strange twist to her lips and a scowl in her brow.
“Ma?” I press. “What is it?”
She looks like she’s debating whether or not to say anything, but then she blurts it all out in a rush. “Earl doesn’t satisfy Carol sexually. Like, not at all. I don’t think she’s ever, in all their years of marriage, had an orgasm with him.”
“Sweet baby Jesus,” I groan. “Ma, the man’s my boss. I don’t need to know—”
“You asked,” she snaps. “And Ray Morris, God bless his little—well, I guess it’s not so little, to hear Carol talk.”
“Ma, I love you, but can we fast-forward to the point?”
She smiles and shakes her head. “I’ve been pretty rigid in my beliefs most of my life. But I never had a reason to see things differently. Marriage is forever, and unless someone’s drinking or violent or something else…”
Hearing that makes me think of what Chloe told me about her parents. Her father was both, and yet her mother stayed. And it cost her mother close ties with her family.
“When Carol first left Earl, I thought she was being foolish. I called her selfish. To her face.” Ma’s voice cracks a bit on that admission. “But then Carol opened up. Broke down. You know she had that precancerous polyp removed last year, and…”
I almost tune out because if there is one thing I don’t want to hear about right after dinner, it’s my mother’s friends’ polyp stories. “Ma.”
“All right, all right, just you wait. You get to my age, and everybody’s got stuff, son. Anyway, she realized that if she died, she’d have spent her whole life married to a good man. And there’s not a thing in the world wrong with that. But Carol said she wanted a great love. Before it was too late to find it.” She blots a tear from her eye with the back of her hand. “And I don’t know if she’ll have some great romance with Ray, but who the heck am I to judge? I’ve had it all with your father.”
She reaches out and touches my arm. “Anyway, are you all right, son? I shouldn’t have just popped over this morning either. It wasn’t right of me.”
“I’m great,” I tell her. “Ma, I wouldn’t change anything about you. I want you in my life. Although, maybe in the future, give me a few hours to reply before you show up.” I hold her close and tight, pressing down her helmet of hair with a loud kiss. “I love you, Ma. You have nothing to apologize for.”
I’m heading out of the kitchen when Ma calls after me.
“Yeah?” I turn back to see Ma standing at the sink looking concerned. “I think Chloe should have Mama Dog. I talked to Bev about letting her adopt if she can get the okay from Ann’s landlord. I know she doesn’t have a yard at that place, but I’d feel a lot better if she had a security system or a good, strong dog with her in that apartment.”
I’m not sure why Ma’s telling me this, but I nod. “Sounds like a good suggestion. You should tell her,” I say, but I’m not being shitty about it. No matter what happens between Chloe and me, my family has to develop their own relationships with her. Without lodging my ass right between them.
Ma nods as if she understands. Maybe Ma will tone down her meddling a bit, but I wouldn’t want her to completely walk away from us kids. Balance. It looks like my mom is actively practicing balance. “I’ll give her a call this week,” she says. “I was hoping she’d come to dinner tonight, but…” She looks like she’s about to launch into a lecture or an apology, so I give her a smile.
“Ma, it’s all good. I got to run.”
She nods, a smile on her face, and I stop at the table to give my dad and siblings goodbye kisses. Benny already left without saying goodbye or clearing his plate, I notice, and Vito and Gracie are arguing about something, while my pops shakes his head.
