“It’s genetic.” He laughed.
I missed this easiness with my brother.
I missed home.
I missed our family, the new family who made me feel like I had always been with them.
I had no regrets about joining the military. It was my life. My calling. My world. I was good at my job. I thrived under the pressure and danger. But I was never completely whole unless I was here. Maybe that was why I didn’t come back often. Being here reminded me of the things I was missing. The family dinners. The birthdays. The cookouts. The holidays. But I’d be back. I’d be a better version of myself and the man I wanted to become.
* * *
Mak lay next to me, our hands touching. “The stars are so beautiful here.”
“It’s the best thing about living in the middle of nowhere, but this is nothing compared to what you’ll see on deployment.”
She turned her head, drawing my attention. “It’s dark out there, isn’t it?”
“It’s the blackest black you’ll ever experience. You never realize how much light there is here, even now, until you’re in the middle of the ocean.”
She sighed, blinking slowly. “I don’t know if I’m ready for everything.”
I tangled my fingers with hers, knowing what she was feeling. “It’s scary at first, but you’ll fall into a routine after a week or so. I’m not saying it won’t suck because it will, but you’ll make it through with flying colors.”
She squeezed my fingers, giving me a faint smile. “What’s the worst part of it?”
I rolled on my side, peering down at her. “The worst part is your downtime. You’re going to be bored. Fill up your e-reader, download some movies, and bring other things to keep yourself occupied. There will be times when you won’t have internet at all. Long periods of time. But back in the day, people had no connection with home except the ship’s phone and letters.”
“I don’t think I could’ve made it with only letters.”
“Mail delivery is still the most exciting day on the ship. Everyone runs on deck to see what they got. I lived for those days.”
“Did you get a lot of packages?”
“I used to get so many things it was crazy. Sometimes, we wouldn’t get anything for a month and then, bam, dozens of packages. You’ll see.”
She peered down at the blanket between us. “Will you write to me?” she asked, still not bringing her gaze back to mine. “I could use your wisdom and support. Someone besides my dad being my cheerleader from the side. Someone I could share my fears or even successes with who will be honest with me and I can be honest with too.”
I placed my fingers under her chin, bringing her gaze back to me in the starlight. “I’ll write to you, darlin’. You can tell me anything, and I’ll never judge you.”
She smiled and let out a relieved breath. “Thank you, Austin. That means a lot to me.”
“You can text me too. You’ll be able to use some apps at sea when you’re not under a blackout. Reach out to me anytime, and I’ll reply as soon as I can.” I swept my finger across her face underneath her lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss her again.
“You’re always on the move, aren’t you?”
“Not always, but I’m not at base as much as I’d like to be.”
“I promise not to bother you too much.”
I tightened my fingers on her chin. “Darlin’, you could never be a bother. When you need me, I’ll be there for you.”
She lifted her arm, resting her hand on my bicep. “Why are you so great to me?”
“Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”
She shrugged a shoulder, gripping my arm tighter. “I don’t know. I figured you were only being nice to get into my pants.” She smirked.
I laughed, shaking my head. “I won’t lie. I did want in your pants, but that’s not why I was nice.”
