“Hi,” she says.
“Hey, babe. How was your flight?”
“Good. How was the rally?”
“Crowded.” I stand up to get a bottle of water from the mini fridge. “Did you watch the press conference?”
“I did. I’m so happy for you, Jude.”
“For us.”
She sighs softly into the phone. I get that skin-prickling sense that something is wrong again.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“Yeah…I wish we weren’t back to cryptic conversations, though.”
I unscrew the cap from my water and take a long sip. “Babe, if there’s something you need to say to me, say it. I’m not worried about anything between us being used against me, and if it is, I’ll handle it.”
After a long pause, she says, “At the airport earlier, it was hard for me to leave you.”
“It was hard for me too. We don’t have to be apart, Ray. Come be with me. I want you here.”
“It would look like I only came back because of the news conference.”
“Since when do we give a shit what things look like? You and me, that’s all that matters.”
“I know, I just…I don’t know, Jude.”
“Whatever it is, just say it. I know you’ve had something on your mind, and it’s driving me fucking nuts that you won’t tell me what.”
My heart pounds harder as I wait for her to speak. We don’t keep secrets from each other, and it makes me uneasy that she’s been holding out on me.
“My mom and I have been talking a lot,” she finally says. “And she…she doesn’t want this life for me.”
“What life?”
“The life of a politician’s wife.”
I rub my eyes, which are aching with fatigue from the long day. “But you married a politician five years ago. Why does she suddenly feel this way?”
“I think she just didn’t want to say anything. And the governor’s race has shone a brighter spotlight on us than before.”
I sit on the edge of the bed, leaning my elbows on my knees. “I get why she feels that way, after what happened to her. But how doyoufeel?”
“I feel…” She pauses, seeming to think about it. “Like finding myself with no job and no job offer was the best thing that could have happened to me. I’ve had a lot of quiet time down here. Time to think and relax and just…be. It’s made me realize how long I’ve been running in circles, never feeling like I’m doing enough.”
“I can understand that. Babe, if you want to take time away from working, or never go back at all, I’m good with that. I just want you to be happy.”
She sighs softly, making me think of last night. God, the sound of her heavy breathing as she tried not to make a sound drove me wild.
“I know. All this stuff with my mom has made me realize that life goes at the same speed whether you’re taking time to appreciate the small things or not.”
Her hidden messages are making me nervous. I stand up and pace over to the window in my room.
“Babe, what do you want? You don’t need to explain why or anything, just tell me, bottom line—what do you want?”
“I want a quieter life. With you. I want to take vacations and shop for groceries together and watch football games every weekend during the season. I want to have babies, and I want us to raise them together. I want you to walk in the door every evening and go to bed with me every night.”
