“Do you need help?” I ask Lucio when I see him struggling with what I think is spinach dip.
“Nope. I’m going to make this my bitch if it’s the last thing I do.”
“He got his cooking skills from Ma,” Angelo tells me, which is clearly evident by the way he’s mashing the shit out of all the ingredients.
I peer up at Angelo with a horrified look. Cooking is my thing, and normally, I can sit back and let someone else take the wheel, but this is too much.
“Take him outside,” I tell my husband.
Oh my God. I have a husband and kids to go along with that giant family. Never in a million years did I think I’d have anyone but myself and Roger. And that man is in no hurry to settle down, claiming there are no eligible bachelors in Chicago.
Angelo gives me a quick nod before stalking toward Lucio. I follow behind, checking out Angelo’s ass as he walks. It’s damn fine, too. I can’t seem to keep my hands off that ass either, even when it’s not entirely appropriate.
The look on Angelo’s face as he glances down at the clear bowl, taking in the spinach dip that now looks like green slime, is priceless. “Jesus, man. What in the hell did you do to that?”
Lucio lifts his hands in the air. “What’s wrong with it?”
I take this as my cue to snatch the spatula out of his hand. “Let me finish this. It looks great. Totally delicious.” I’m totally lying.
I’m pretty sure Lucio knows it too by the way he’s looking at me with those beautiful narrowed eyes. “It’s your big day,” he argues.
I pull my hand back when he tries to take the spatula from me because there’s no way we can serve this. “My big day was yesterday. Now, we’re in family cookout mode. Why don’t you boys go check to see if anyone needs drinks?”
“Ah, something I’m good at.” Lucio gives me a smile because I know the last thing he wants to be doing is making spinach dip.
I watch as Lucio and Angelo walk outside and are instantly swarmed by the relatives from Tampa. My cheeks start to ache from the stupid smile I can’t seem to wipe off my face lately.
I’m so lost in thought and staring at my husband’s ass, I don’t hear the patio door open and close.
“We’re here to help,” Betty says.
I jump, and the bowl slips from my hands, landing on the floor and spilling out by the green slime Lucio made.
“Shit,” I mutter, staring down at it as it covers the wood floor.
Betty and Maria stare down at the mess with me.
“What the hell is that?” Maria asks. “It looks like baby shit.”
I glance up and burst into laughter because she isn’t wrong. “Lucio made spinach dip.”
Maria’s eyebrows shoot up. “Clearly he gets his cooking skills from you, Betty.”
My laughter dies because no one ever likes to talk bad about Betty’s cooking. At least, not to her face. And if I’m being totally honest, it’s awful. There are some things she’s okay at making, but ninety percent of her meals are almost inedible, though whiskey helps it slide down easier.
Betty crosses her arms as she stares at her sister-in-law. “You’re saying I’m a horrible cook?”
I’m not sure if I should start backing up because Betty has been known to have a temper. She’s like the little firecracker that packs the most powerful punch. She’s had to be strong. Raising three rowdy boys isn’t for the faint of heart.
“You’re a shit cook,” Maria says and shakes her head. “We both know Tino isn’t with you because you could make a mean sauce.”
Betty smirks. “They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but with Tino, it’s really his dick. The man’s obsessed with it.”
I’m still holding the spatula, bowl near my feet, and spinach dip everywhere, and I’m feeling kind of awkward listening to my mother-in-law and her sister-in-law talking about cock and sauce.
“Lucky for you,” Maria says as she grabs a wad of paper towels off the counter and hands them to Betty. “Clean this up, and I’ll get busy making new dip.”
They’re talking like I’m not even here, which is odd and something I’m not used to. I’m always the cook, except on Sunday. That’s Betty’s day to make us all a “home-cooked” meal because she feels that’s her job as a mother. Sometimes I wonder if it’s payback for her kids’ years of bullshit behavior as teenagers.
